The day has finally come
i didn’t know how i would feel on this day a year ago
then, i was in deep deep pain
numb, sad, confused, lost, broken
even now i still am, i guess
when i realized what today was, i grew completely numb and i cried

i wish i could rinse you off of me with a cold shower
i wish i could have brainwashed you away
i wish i could remember what we felt like without this pain

but those are just wishes
even if a genie did come and grant them for me
i wouldn't be the person i am today
i think that's the worst part though:
you helped mold me into who i have become

i wonder what it would be like to see you again
i wonder what you think of me after a year
i wonder if i am still your scapegoat

because you're now mine

happy birthday, my tragic dark prince
i hope you have a beautiful day

My heart has always felt empty
There was always something missing
I just wish you hadn't tried to fill it

With your words
With your attention
With your love
With you

To the point where it was ALMOST filled
almost
but then you ripped yourself away
right when i needed you most

after so long, what do i do?
how do i function?
why am i so empty again?
what did i do to make you leave?

i feel like a shadow of myself, partly existing partly fading
mostly fading
emptier than even before
because I was full with you