I remember the moment
I heard your heartbeat
My heart leapt in excitement!
My anticipation and joy,
I was wrapped up in
decorating your nursery.
Smiles never left my eyes
The sleepless nights... well
they went by like blinking.
No matter my sickness,
I didn't mind.
When they told me I
would have to stay in bed,
I did it, I tried to let you grow
without interrupting you.
I never wanted anything
so much.
If I knew, would I have done it?
Would I do it again?
That day, as I sobbed
into your daddy's chest,
your lifeless body on the table,
they could not revive you.
You were so blue.
I prayed but the minutes
went by like hours.
Please know,
I will always miss you,
I will always want you.

Bouncing back is a young man's game
while we put our mind to shuffling,
a little stumbling, but still climbing -
each foothold, each handhold
taking us up,
but no bouncing, just selecting
the safest, the least
arduous route back
and while we may not quickly reach
our past heights
we gain enough to preserve
our perspective
and perhaps gain a new one
while we hold on
to what we have.
But no bouncing.

Dear HP community, my friends, I've been thinking about this for a while and now is the time to act and propose you a challenge :)
I would love to hear from you about this: what does it meen to you to be human? It might not be an easy question but let's give it a try.
In the face of virtual worlds, AI, in the dazzling speed of our world, in the face of our severing ourselves from nature, I find the topic relevant. I hope you do too.
Please feel free to address the challenge any way you like, with depth or shallowness, with fun, humour or depth of thought, with your felt sense or otherwise. As you wish, in comments bellow or maybe in a piece of writing. I hope to hear from you and I won't be offended if I don't. Maybe we can write a collective poem, who knows?
Warmly,
Irina

Recovery, Initially, is about knowing;  Knowing that change is necessary,
Accepting that your life is not where you want it to be,  About facing up to your fears and anxiety
Then taking the first step eventually… When you, and you alone, feel you are ready.

Recovery, Critically, demands pure honesty, requires the utmost integrity
Most Especially, when confronting your past traumas, your history
Though it may make you feel angry, sad and often times guilty
This process is key if you really want to move on, to change truly.    

Recovery, Truthfully, is far from easy,  It can be fraught with challenges, setbacks, difficulty.
It can hurt physically and even worse emotionally, Testing your will power to the extremity.
It takes great Strength, Courage and Bravery; Determination, Resilience, in the face of adversity

Recovery, Thankfully, need not be a lonely journey, Though you alone must take ultimate responsibility.
There are lots of supports out there happily; from good friends, family and in your community
Though it can be hard to ask for help, understandably…Let not pride undermine your recovery.

Recovery, Ultimately, is about getting where it is you want to be, about starting anew daily
About achieving realistic goals you have set regularly, Learning from the process; what worked successfully
Starting to believe in yourself gradually, Gaining an insight into what you are capable of ...potentially

Finally, Recovery is for all, a lifelong journey, Guarding against ambivalence, relapse, constantly.
Knowing that every day will, in reality,  pose real threats for you in your recovery
But every day also presents an opportunity… to engage with, enjoy, your life more fully.

a flat white cools
far too quickly
for prolonged enjoyment
steaming the window
above the table
where it rests
next to it
my latest trial
of literature
at times
lengthy of word
ponderous
but probing
while others
lesser
   in page number
though not
   in meaning
brief yet pointed
but always
formidable enough
in name
   or title
to impress
a wandering eye

It just so happens that my Shrek toothpaste somehow
went splat on the floor, covered in ants
I don’t know how
to clean a bathroom, properly
and now mother knocks
asking if I’ve seen her foot cream and will I be done
in there soon
and I say go change out of your work shirt
Mythology week awards require at least a toga
“Rome outfits weren’t built in a day,” she bubbles.

Last August I cleaned the toilet I think
inhaling unhealthy degrees of artificial orange scrub.
One of my favorites,
but not as good as coca-cola
which I was forbidden from trying until I was 16.
I hear: “Constantinople will be Istanbul by the time you’re out
of there” and she may be right

it seems ridiculous
to me
that
it does not matter
in spite
of what is
clearly
logically
and undeniably
the truth

just because
a mistake
was not
challenged
or
corrected
until now;
should not mean
we are forced
to accept
the hindrance
of this idiocy
and what it means
for
our future