I used to think forgiveness and forgetting are *******.

Until I know what it is like to actually forgive;
My heart was full of anger
and disappointment
and every muscle in me contracts and relax
trying to calm myself
my eyes would not stop releasing tears.
So I sat and try to think of the memories
I NEED TO STOP
I told myself
I remembered every memory and think of it as a phase in life
I NEED TO OPEN A NEW CHAPTER
My tears left my eyes again
my heart clench at these memories
I smiled, I cried
I NEED TO MOVE ON
I wrote everything that my heart could not content
I wrote everything
Until I fell asleep.
I NEED TO FORGIVE
When I woke up
I stare at the living device that used to greet me with happiness
I stared at it for so long
I went insane.
I laughed, thinking of all the things he did
and
I forgave.