Blade sheathed in despair
Forged from the heat of passionate hatred
Man melted with metal
smithing dealt death with every blow
Cold blood to cool steel
A heart you'd judge lost
But his wavers not.

The vulnerability of Life
blood spatters
like pink leaves leaving the Sakura tree
Slow, as your life withers'n'witnesses
A heart you'd judge lost
But his wavers not.

Back'n'forth the Eb'n'Flow of blood
as life comes and goes
balancing on ropes
unseathed the wind blows
Fall'n'die, unfair
Your arrogance punished by
A heart you'd judge lost
But his wavers not.

Fail to witness, Fail to see
Fail to feel, Fail to flee
disposition to disharmony
Death doesn't cause a scene
Taken by
A heart you'd judge lost
but his wavers not.

My daughter is on day four of being a runaway, I am having some other serious issues in my life too...
I'm constantly seeking the next right choice as the temptations of this earth try drawing me IN.
But....Near is not enough for the evil of this earth it wants you completely!
My child like spirit that keeps me near to God is in balance with my reluctant adulthood consciousness.
Keeping this balance determines how well I can fight.
Not to mention if I thrive.
God will take care of me if I believe.
Lately this balance has given my spirit a winning fight.
But against all odds I'm face to face with the devil, if there ever was one, day and night.

Not Applicable
Not Found

Not Heard
No Sound

Not Found
Not Alone

Not Lost
Not Grown

do you remember
the dandy yellow of her hair
the gold that shone with the sun
as though they were born of the same ancient catastrophe
do you remember
the deep pools of green
the gem like eyes that always peered
through her tangled hair with curiosity and eager delight
do you remember
that balance before the evil
that brief period where knowledge and
happiness could coexist without one stifling the other

I don't remember.
I'm told she was real, but I never knew her.
Can you miss someone made of perception and memory?

Tell me why I can never win.
I fall to the depths and depths of sin.
Tell me how long I have to wait for the long term payoff,
I can be on top of the world until the world forces me to get off.
Believe in balance then look at me,
if you're beliefs aren't turned yet then you're probably not looking at me.
Cause sometimes I feel so heavy I tip myself off the edge,
And here I am not even college.
But that doesn't change how much I've seen,
all the tears, all the grass so green.
On the other side of the fence of life,
if they knew how much I've tried to go their I'd surely hide.
I know my reaction's pretty common but still taboo,
and still this all might relate to you.
Yes life is good but is that fair?
Cause all the hate has to go somewhere,
and when it's to be seen, yes, it's one to scare.

BPAD
And
MDD
And
GAD
And
ADD
And
PTSD

And you wonder why I call my brain
Alphabet soup?

So many things
Going on in my head
And while I am astonished
That you love my insanity,
I am even more bewildered,
That you've somehow
Come across the parts of me
That are sane.

And I struggle from time to time
Finding bits and pieces
Of sanity
And putting it back together,
But you help
With casting light on those parts
More than you could ever know.

And I feel like
My chest is too tight
And like
My throat is closing
And like
I need to rip my heart out,
It's beating too fast.

But even on my worst days,
You still find ways to show
That you love me,
And I could never be more grateful
To you--

For holding me through anxiety attacks,
For wiping away tears,
For making me smile
When I forget that I can.

I know you hate when I thank you
For things you think you're supposed to do,
But no one before you
Wanted to.

And no,
Love can't heal my disorders.
But it sure does help me
Along the way.

This is a poem for me, to me.

You have a horrible singing voice
but God knows,
singing while you wash away
dishes somehow makes
cleaning your heart
less cumbersome.

I've been worried about you;
you seem to be craving
a psychopathic thrill,
the kind where you feel
everything but remorse;
what a change of course,
you didn't let the monsters change you,
did you?

Intensity sprawls over
your dainty skin,
either full equilibrium
or capsizing until you sink,
either confessing to possessing
a soul gone obsidian
or your confessions completely shrink.

Girls like you
are the reason why you don't see
many small kids out late at night;
you're either fully pacific
or completely acidic,
either lulling stability and resolution
or chaos enveloped by your convulsions.

You're a ******* storm...
Now make sure the world knows.