Some last spams
from those muscles
I haven't used in a while,
makes me feel alive.

My heart,
naive,
believes it can still love
like it used to.
It is just that ****
muscle memory.

Your words hit me.
Hurt me.
But no longer
pierce me.
Short range
now they are.

My denatured  enzymes,
possessed by salt,
just want to drown.

Anything that stops
the aftershocks in my body
that follow the earthquake
our love once was.

I am water,

I am rain,

I surpass all the pain.

I am earth,

I am rock,

I am the aftershock.

I am wind,

I am fire,

I am so much more,

Take me higher.

I am soul,

I am spirit,

Now silence!

So we can hear it.

This is not the end and I will defend.

Water, Earth, Wind, Fire, and Spirit.

it tastes like bile in the back of your throat
feels like tears stinging behind your eyes
like a migraine just beginning
like a high pitched whine at the highest volume

it seeps into things unrelated
tinting your favorite colors
flavoring your favorite foods
putting white noise in all your favorite songs

it leaks onto your friendships
staining arms after hugs
leaving laughs polluted
reflecting in eyes that’d trust you with anything

it screams at it wins
the sound one of terrifying joy
“burn!” it commands
but you are made of stone and mortar

it fills your chest with unease
your fingertips with trembles
your mind with final conclusions
your lips with lies that taste like sugar

“I don’t” but you don’t mean that
“I don’t want” but you do
“I can’t” but you can
“I won’t” but you will.