the universe is quiet and doesn't care.

if the first real heartbreak is the worst
does that mean that the first love will always be
the one worth hurting over?
will they never be better?
will I love him forever?

my friend is home
always arrives at
the appropriate times
I hear his smooth stride
hurry up in a clamor
on time storm hammer
he knows the right
way goes slow
my friend by
his misnomer
a common name
often heard in
silence, shout, whimper
claim of infamous fame
welcome again Pain

I have been sick more times this year
than ever before.
My parents say I should sleep better.
My friends say I should eat better.
My boss says I should read more.
My doctor says I need regular
Exercise. Exercise. How can I walk
When I got so much on my mind?
Only that which can be expelled
At a desk, in my bed, in my dreams,
I'm happy.

I wrote you two letters
Both I sent together -
One was a welcome as well as
a warning of the words to come -
I often said that writing about you
was the easiest thing for me.
Be it the bad times, or the good we shared
I always found a way to mesh the moment
with your feelings, like I forgot mine
on a dusty European coast when you said
You'd come back and the phone never rang.
I watched it for days
At dinner, at dawn - I still remember how
little the food tasted then