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No matter how sad that you might be at the moment.
No matter how much that you are hurting right now.
I want you to remember this, you have change my life.
Christ has used each of you to change me from within.
So whatever you might be going through here my friend.
Never forget just how special that you truly are indeed.
For each of you have different gifts and abilities as well.
You have different kinds of Loves as well as personalities.
Soon I shall be on full time again but I really wanted you to know.
Just how awesome and wonderful that each of you truly are.
I still don't
understand it

how you have created
such beautiful chaos
in my heart

you have turned
my world
upside down
  
you have made
stars into
song
the sun shines
it's poetry
upon my face;
even the moon
can't explain its
gravity

how can I
possibly make
any sense
of anything
when i feel
love like
that
 Sep 2016 Surbhi choudhary
ryn
My teacher once asked
a short simple question.
She had asked,
"What do you want to be?"
Raised arms answered her query.
Open palms each belonging to excitable children.

Wide little eyes looked up at her.
Hands began to flail in the air...
Ever so hopeful of being chosen.
So that they could voice their aspirations.
So that they could begin to share.

One by one,
they each was given the opportunity.
Turn by turn,
boastful were some
while others spoke quiet and shyly.

Then the teacher stopped short.
Not before expressing her delight.
She was in awe of such young minds...
Having had such great wings
to eventually take flight.

Then she explained...
What she had initially meant.
Confused looks all around including me.
She rephrased the question,
"What kind of person...
Do you want to be?"


There was silence.
No arms shot up to meet the subject.
I don't recall having raised mine,
but I remember telling the teacher...
An answer (I was confident), she wouldn't expect.

I stood at my desk,
proud and tall...
And told the teacher
that I wished to be a person...
Well loved by all.

She smiled and I did too.
I felt it was a good answer.
She nodded to signal for me to take my seat again.
She paused before speaking,
and not a moment later.

She said,
"That would be nice.
To be loved by all.
But that's close to impossible.
A big wish for someone so small."


I had heard her words clearly...
However I didn't understand.
My brows furrowed...
And I was deep in thought...
Still I couldn't comprehend.

28 years later...
Here I sit,
looking back to that time in the past.
How time flies...
It simply ticked away...
All too fast.

Till just then I was still that boy...
Who tried hard to please.
I wanted to prove that it wasn't impossible.
You can be loved by everyone,
and you can do it with ease.

But now I have learnt.
Now I have found meaning
and understanding in my teacher's wisdom.
It took me a while but...
I know now...
That wishes and reality don't work in tandem.

You can choose to care and love,
everyone you see.
But to expect everyone to love you the same...
Is sheer
impossibility.
.
You can't please everyone in life.
When you work around people, you're bound to step on some toes...
Whether intentionally or not.

Dedicated to my primary school teacher
and all the teachers out there. A tad early but...
Happy Teachers Day.
.
 Sep 2016 Surbhi choudhary
ryn
You can't find relief...
In reasons non existent;
In predicaments ill-explained.

There's no relief.
In trying to peer over towering walls.
With feet on tiptoes,
and necks sorely craned.

Relief isn't found...
In wishing upon droplets
that explode as they meet the ground.
Everytime it thundered,
and then rained.

Relief is in the trove
when the heart lets go.
To acknowledge the error,
to move on...
And commit fully to the lesson gained.
 Sep 2016 Surbhi choudhary
ryn
Tonight I flicker dimmer than most
I'm alone with everyone here
Stabbing their plates and proposing their toasts

Tonight I feel my wings but they're in cuffs
I'm alone with everyone here
Speaking their words, laughing their laughs

Tonight I bear the arrows of discreet little leers
I'm alone with everyone here
Silently goading me with their mocks and jeers

Tonight I hear whispers muttered inaudible
I'm alone with everyone here
Inconspicuous fingers pointed under tables

Tonight I write but my ink weighs heavy
I'm alone with everyone here
They pile on my thoughts, usurping the calm...
Inciting a mind full of anarchy
 Sep 2016 Surbhi choudhary
ryn
There lived a man, a crooked man
Whose fingers stretched feeble and thin
A note he did write with all of his might
And he hid it on his person before his journey did begin

To whom the note was for, it was never addressed
The man never did disclose
For reasons unclear and secrets untold
This note was the way he chose

"I used to be one with my own darkness
And it fed me fat with lies and fear
It upset people so and everyone left me
Even those I held so close and dear

It seeped into my skin and ate at my bones
It drove my mind insane
I knew I'd rather brave the walk
If I didn't, I'd die in vain

I'd walk for miles for I wish not to die alone
I'd walk in search of anyone
I'm wary of the shadows that lurk behind me
So I choose to walk into the sun

Now I've written this note in diminishing hopes
Should soon if I fall to the ground
At least someone would come to know of me
Should this parchment be discovered and found"


Know this man, the crooked man
Whose note bore his message sombre
He never did find the salvation he sought
He'd never known a happily ever after
Part 5 of 6
I'm a rockin
I'm a rollin
I'm a twisting
I'm a turning

Can't get you out of my mind

It all started so slow
No smoking at the bar
Hendricks and juice
watching the show

You danced on by me
with someone I didn't know

Eye contact
The games between us begun

Now all night long
reliving our moves

Still hallucinating you next to me

Your eyes, they penetrated my skin
Your eyes they
hypnotized my mind
Agitation
Fascination

But of course you left with him

There's a scent in the air
I'm feeling your presence
everywhere

My mind is on fire
My body is too
there is a longing desire

Not ready to forget you

I'm hugging my pillow
my sheets
they are burning

I'm rockin
I'm rollin
I'm twisting
I'm turning

Can't get you out of my mind
I'm not going to even try to.
he always said he
could count his
flaws on
both hands

but;
I loved him for
the way
his imperfections
made him whole ..

I saw how his
soul
was so
beautifully
torn and

that all of his
imperfectly scattered
pieces
would always
fit together perfectly
with mine
 Sep 2016 Surbhi choudhary
ryn
There lived a man, a crooked man
Who bore his life upon his back
It took a toll and weighed him down
As he trudged along the track

He'd resigned to his fate as the day grew late
Ignoring his unwelcomed guest
He had spoken no words as he continued on
Till he decided to stop and rest

But his health was failing and his feet were aching
His destination no one could know
He crumbled to his knees in the setting sun
As daylight lost its glow

He knew that dusk was skirting so near
He knew that night would come to shroud
And soon he would be overwhelmed
By shadows that would come to crowd

He curled into his lanky self
He cowered in shame and fear
For all the things he tried to leave behind
Crouched now in the dark so near

He trembled and quivered
No one could hear him cry
He whimpered and grovelled
Knowing that there was where he'd die

Know this man, the crooked man
Who then had given up on hope
He shivered and sobbed knowing full well
That he'd reached the end of his rope
Part 3 of 6
I sure miss you here,
(In the hope that
you miss me too)
And if you don't,
I don't know
where this narrow path
through dense woods
will take me at the end.
No way, I could go back
to the begining when
my hope is there in the
journey's end.

Presumptions, we think
would have no thorns to fear,
but cause  vein jumps
again and again that may prove
the grapes were sore after all.

Every wish prompting one
to hit the road, often with
no rhyme or reason, would
have underlying conditions,
though unseen from where one starts.
Why, are we afraid to speak openly
how the journey would end
even when we set out so excited?

On your wall beyond the reach
of  my eager eyes are sketches
still incomplete;
that may break or make me.
And what it does to you then
is an idea vague in my imagination.
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