“My heart is so small
it's almost invisible.
How can You place
such big sorrows in it?"
"Look," he answered,
"your eyes are even smaller,
yet they behold the world."

~ Rumi

All my life I was breathing in the poison air of self-judgement.
The kind that sticks to heart and aura,
bringing heartache in my journey.

Within my intake breath,
judgment of being stupid lodged, causing others to agree.

Within my out take breath,
judgement of not being pretty lodged, as others agreed.

In childhood insecurities plagued, as many teased and touched.
In adolescence fears plagued, as others kept their distance.
In adulthood, I gave my power away, and others took it.

Until light came into self to awake inside heart.

Until heart showed  my true divine self.

Now I breathe in clean air celebrating
connected to source energy.

Now I love myself to feel free at last.

Which way?
I have no idea.
Where are the options?
There are none.
Well I will carry on.
No good moaning
nothing left for groaning
Just turn left
it is the nearest to the heart.
What are the options?
They have gone.
Carry on.

Time slowly ticks,
and I stand still.

I am waiting.

As a noiseless patient spider,
I seem detached,
but there is much to observe.

And then again nothing to see here
move along

But I cannot.

I am frozen in space and time
fully grokking what's happening to me
yet unable to stop any of it,

And so I wait.