Shi Em: Poems

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Shi Em May 2020

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but you have a terrible habit
of glancing up at the sky
then looking down fast
as if you were telling yourself
that you had no right
to admire its beauty

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Shi Em Apr 2020

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you are love
and chaos
at the same time

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Shi Em Jun 2020

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anxieties —
they keep me up,
and now they long
to wither me down

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Shi Em Jul 2020

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but calm nights like tonight makes me fear what tomorrow might bring.

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Shi Em Jul 2020

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there are happy endings,
and endings that stand
as beginnings,
but sometimes
there are simply just —
endings.

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Shi Em Jul 2020

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i have a terrible habit
of ruining the things
i don't want to ruin.

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Shi Em Aug 2020

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it's days like today that
makes me want
to crawl out
of my own skin.

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Shi Em Aug 2020

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i hate my weight
and all my weighted thoughts

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Shi Em Aug 2020

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it's 3am —
and the only demons alive
are those inside my mind

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Shi Em Aug 4

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but I am old enough now
to have my fears comfort me;
and have the things I love
chain me in fear -

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Shi Em Apr 2017

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she was a puzzle in a piece of art
painted down on an empty canvas
as splatters of different colored ink
completing a masterpiece that cannot be understood
by all **** means
and yet there he was staring,
a tear falling from his eye,
as it pierced through every little parts
of his broke down soul

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Shi Em Mar 2017

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we take too much of very little things
just to satisfy our never ending cravings
we give too little of what we have too much
because that's how we work,
*us, selfish human beings

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Shi Em Mar 2017

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the words that are left unsaid
are the ones that mean the most

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Shi Em Jan 2017

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and he loved her more
as he watched her listen
to the stories the moon
illuminates.

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Shi Em Mar 2017

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but I know,
that the only reason that we're together,
is because you see her in me,
but I want you to remember,

i'm my own person too.

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Shi Em Mar 2017

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sometimes giving up
pushes you to start moving
forward

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Shi Em Jan 2017

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and so everytime I stare
at the mirror;
all i can see is a remnant
of who i ever was.

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Shi Em Apr 2017

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and so she imprints it on a paper,
desperately wishing that it would seal the time,
where she lived, and grieved,
as well as loved,
hoping that in her next lifetime,
she would stumble upon that book again,
innocently scavenging through the pages,
and having it touch her soul,
oblivious to the fact that
it was her memories all along

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Shi Em Mar 2017

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but this is reality,
it does not matter if I love you this much,
because in the end - I can only look at you from afar

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Shi Em Jan 2017

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i wonder if someone ever
bothered to put back
the pieces of myself that
i've left behind.

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Shi Em Mar 2017

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i could be the sun,
i'd burn myself just to see you shine,
but a love like that is toxic.

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Shi Em Jan 2017

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and i didn't realize how
destructive this love was;
until i found myself missing
all my parts just to make you
complete

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Shi Em Jan 2019

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°.   °.             °.         °  °.         °.   .         .
°         °            °   .          .   °.     °.   °
    °         °        .         °      °.       . °      °.       .
°      °.          °        .        °       .   °.
it's hard to stop yourself
   °      .      .      from drowning °.   .   °     °    .°      °.       .       °.       .       °.         .       °      °.       .       °.      when you can't .       °.         .       °.       .    °.    °     when you can't.    °.    °.      .    .    .
°     °.  .       .         °
°  .  even see the water nor the waves
   you're supposed to be
   °      °.       .       °.       .       °.         .       °.       .    °.    °     °.    °.     °.      .    .    .
°     °.       .     °  fighting °.  °    °.   °     °    .°      °. °      °.       .       °.       .       °.         .       °.       .    °.    °     °.    °.     °.      .    .    .
°     °.       .       °.       .       °.         .       °.       .    °.    °     °.    °.     °.      .    .    .
°     °.  .    .     °.      °.      °°      °.       .    °.   .    °.    .    °.       °.   °      °.       .
          °.         °.    °

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Shi Em Oct 2018

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There will be better days
and everything will turn out
to be okay.
Someday.
Yes, soon it will be.
I know that for sure.

-but for the meantime, it is going to be a very long and painful wait.

Just hold on a little while longer.

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Shi Em Jul 2017

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blood drips around his lips,
as he bleeds out the words,

boy, don't you even try;
I know that it's all a lie

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Shi Em Jul 2017

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THE MARKINGS you left on the wall,
still burns out strong,
yet here I am,
staring at it all alone.

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Shi Em Jan 2019

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If I could do it all over again,
I'd still choose to have my heart
taken by you
no matter how many times its
bound to break

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Shi Em Jul 2017

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but love shouldn't feel like
cold brewed caffeine,
on a disastrous winter rain.

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Shi Em Jul 2017

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People talking,
people coming,
people leaving,
and yet here I am,
stuck in the same place,
still unmoving.

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Shi Em Jan 2018

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do not be deceived with the illusion that I've painted;
you'd think I'd be the calm after the storm;
but inside this ball of sunshine,
I am nothing but a raging storm.

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Shi Em Aug 2017

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the world is a judge,
and I am the accused.
no trials were held.
but the verdict was guilty.

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Shi Em Jul 2017

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different colored cups,
different seasoned tea,
what a wonderful beauty,

Humanity.

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Shi Em Mar 2017

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it's ironic to realize that it is actually
the happiest moments that carves the
deepest scars.

you

Shi Em Mar 2015

you

somewhere behind that never ending darkness,
is someone who wants to be loved
and treasured;

someone whose waiting and waiting,
despite of the fact that it's slowly
losing it's last ember;

you can't see it because it's always behind
the shadows,

waiting for the time that you'll gradually
discover its

w o r t h

but can't you see?
that someone is

y
o
u

your heart has been waiting for far too long
to love yourself for once that
it's slowly covered in bruises and scars;

far too long that it's almost covered itself in
a labyrinth of pain with the hopes of
what could've been and
what could never been;

and maybe,
it's finally time to give yourself a
little rest.

#love #pain #time #yourself #heartaches #finally

you ask who you are to me, and this is my reply (though you'd never get to read this anyway)

Shi Em Jun 2018

you ask who you are to me, and this is my reply (though you'd never get to read this anyway)

you are the draft
of my poetries
that I have kept hidden.
you've taught me how to render
all these feelings to be unspoken.

you are the song
by which the octave
of my voice can't reach;
and yet I still try to sing you in secrecy.

you are the art
that my simple mind
can't seem to understand
but it's okay, because I feel you
and that's what gives these emotions
an infinite ampersand.

you are all these,
and yet to me, you are still nothing.
because in this life, that is all we are, and is all what we are ever going to be: nothing.

and I - although it hurts, have learned the hard way on how to accept that.

#you #me #nothing

— The End —