You may not have been birthed in the soil,
and granted,
you will not blossom
when spring melts winters wake
but inside of you
grows a thousand gardens
full of exploding stars.
You are of the earth
and your ashes
have been constructed with stardust,
and set free with the wind.
So you may not have a pretty face,
and your body may hold stories
of too many moonless nights alone.
But if you reach inside,
you will find a forest
for a ribcage
and a restless ocean heart.
So don't ever let anyone tell you
you are nothing.
You are a galaxy
holding a million different planets,
and my dear,
that is not nothing.

I can't sleep at night because my bed won't stop thinking about you
the pillows hold onto the smell of your perfume and throw it in my face
your curves remain engraved in the mattress.
I'm constantly reminding my bed that it's time to forget you
Yet I still haven't wiped your lips off of mine.

i feel both self destructive and self saving
i want to hide myself in my room,
keep my personality buzzing between my two dimples.
only for myself, only for myself.

i want to take up the men who've asked me
for drinks, or for my time, up on their offers
i want to go and be politely disinterested
i want to cleave myself from my bones
and act like someone who does not live
inside this body, someone you won't recognize

but mostly, more than anything at all,
i want to give everything i have to you.
this is the pain i feel the very most:
i still want to give all of this to you.

and so, i give it to no one.

*october.28.2014 8:41 A.M.

You wrote about me , and it hurts. I've never been so lonesome in my life as I am now. Its eternal despair, and the pain rumbles in my lungs and I soon lose feeling of my knuckles and finger tips. Youre gone, but your friends say you're at home watching Netflix and lounging in your lazy underwear and bra
I know you've always been the one to let go
And for some reason that fear stood up close by
I pray to the moon
And I begged cupid to go pay you a visit
And begged the stars to die out so I could say something cheesy like "your eyes are brighter than any substance the stars may produce"
Slowly my heart breaks more and more each and every hour, every minute of my day, every drum and every 80s break up song slowly starts to sting
Darling I'm in despair and random thoughts that pop up in my head like a tour bus and really bright Vegas lights, or a Scottish Coffee shop, or like the coupons in your favorite cigarette, or the nights my friends saw me kissing you and they started to cheer, they screamed and I slightly looked away, but you grabbed me by plain black T-shirts and kissed me harder, until your lip scabbed up and my lips became sore

' Hold onto my hands, I feel I'm sinking, sinking without you.
And to my mind, everything's stinking, stinking without you '

' And in the night, I could be helpless,
I could be lonely, sleeping without you. and in the day, everything's complex, There's nothing simple, when I'm not around you.

My darling

461

A Wife—at daybreak I shall be—
Sunrise—Hast thou a Flag for me?
At Midnight, I am but a Maid,
How short it takes to make a Bride—
Then—Midnight, I have passed from thee
Unto the East, and Victory—

Midnight—Good Night! I hear them call,
The Angels bustle in the Hall—
Softly my Future climbs the Stair,
I fumble at my Childhood’s prayer
So soon to be a Child no more—
Eternity, I’m coming—Sire,
Savior—I’ve seen the face—before!

271

A solemn thing—it was—I said—
A woman—white—to be—
And wear—if God should count me fit—
Her blameless mystery—

A hallowed thing—to drop a life
Into the purple well—
Too plummetless—that it return—
Eternity—until—

I pondered how the bliss would look—
And would it feel as big—
When I could take it in my hand—
As hovering—seen—through fog—

And then—the size of this “small” life—
The Sages—call it small—
Swelled—like Horizons—in my vest—
And I sneered—softly—”small”!

19

A sepal, petal, and a thorn
Upon a common summer’s morn—
A flask of Dew—A Bee or two—
A Breeze—a caper in the trees—
And I’m a Rose!

59

A little East of Jordan,
Evangelists record,
A Gymnast and an Angel
Did wrestle long and hard—

Till morning touching mountain—
And Jacob, waxing strong,
The Angel begged permission
To Breakfast—to return—

Not so, said cunning Jacob!
“I will not let thee go
Except thou bless me”—Stranger!
The which acceded to—

Light swung the silver fleeces
“Peniel” Hills beyond,
And the bewildered Gymnast
Found he had worsted God!