your fabricated words are music to my hungry ears that savour any kind of ******* words you feed them.
malnourished,
in the most petty of ways,
i salivate,
                     for your majestrate ,
                                         to ******, to hug, to look at me,
to see me
  
to see me.

so much unhappiness in this small frame
so much heaviness in delicate veins
so much darkness behind wide eyes
smiling pink lips; her only disguise

you are a lily floating in water full of sharks

you are a feather in the middle of a hurricane

you are a baby in no mans land caught in the middle of crossfire

you are a tiny flame that tries to flicker in the middle of a storm.

you are a boy, naive and frail

without a father in the middle of sadness, ******* and rock and roll music

I am the one loving you and watching you almost but not quite slip away every ******* day

and this storm too,
reminded me of you.
wind howling
reign of darkness
turmoil left behind
as the sun finally rises

but,
you were my storm.

acid flickers in my clenched throat where the words used to come from,

there aren't any left my tongue can't  find the way to form them.

so easily, still sleeping, you cut out my tongue shoved it down my throat

my eyes are saucers and yours are closed dreaming about someone else's words.

my shoulders are tired from trembling
my eyes dry from watering
my throat is hoarse from sobbing
my heart hopeless from loving
                
               *you

I want you
I miss you,
but neither change anything.

amor es todo
amor es sufieciente
amor es triste, y feo, y duele
pero amor siente
amor es todo
y amor es suficiente

No puedo parar pensando en ti

Ni tus pestañas

Ni el olor de tu piel

No logro olvidar tus manos

Como me acariciaban

Y como movían por mi cuerpo con debilidad y oportunidad

Tus ojos están quemados en mi mente con la candela de mis sueños

Hueles a cigarrillo y aventura

Hueles a hablando nariz contra nariz

Eres electricidad y yo una lámpara sin luz ( te necesito)

Haces que todo los pelos en mis brazos se levanten al cielo.

Eres celestial.

Y yo terrestre.

La lejura entre nuestros cuerpos me enferma.

you told me i pushed you away,
yet we both know you had already left
me,
you left me before i had the chance to follow
but i guess that what you wanted
to leave me without a trace of you ever existing,
ever loving,
ever wanting,
me.

A poem is a tangle of lines
A poem is a tangle of lives
      
     intertwined
    interconnected

A poem is a biography of emotion
A poem is what cannot be spoken
A poem is hearts secretly broken

A poem is falling in and out of love
A poem is taking a train just because
A Poem is a textual tease
going over the what if's and maybes

Its asking yourself what if time slowed down

Its wondering why you always start to drown
     when things were just getting good

A poem is refusing yo talk about the weather
Its not not letting you avoid the elephant in the room

Its making you look into my eyes,
demanding the truth

Baby
don't ever leave me
don't die,
or lose interest
is more realistic I guess

Baby
don't ever leave me
you're rough wool sweater
looks quite good on me
And I worked so ******* that painting I gave you last fall
And I really like your laugh
And the smell of the nape of your neck

Baby
don't ever leave  me
I want to grow old with you-
I mean
I want to have your spawn-
I mean
we kind of get along?

So stay
for maybe more than today
I know sometimes I'm afraid
and we've made some mistakes
but just,
don't leave me

there are typos that your bare feet left on my back. thoughtless imprints left by miss steps you took. i feel your weight shift as you cautiously measure where you place your miss placed barefoot. you, walk all over my back without a second glance, or thought. you push away the blood in my skin with the weight of your bare feet and bare bad intentions.  there  are typos that your bare feet left on my back. but those bad impressions, never do last.

Can one die from bitterness?
well,
        I surely hope so.

There are these invisible bruises where your skin used to touch mine.
Bruise where my thighs and knees meet, on eyelashes and the soles on both feet.
The branches of capillaries under my skin moan and gasp in withdrawal of the warmth that is you,
Was you.
Instead of coming to the surface in violets and blues,
They violently cut through me, submerge past my flesh into the depths of me,
And into where my soul used to be.
Invisible bruises are the worst variation,
Because no one can see them so no one can explain the pain running down my face
In the middle of the day.
No one understands the shakes in my hands
As I try to pray for this all to be erased.
You must be made of lead because when I used to kiss you my lungs would fill with a heavy liquid,
And days after I  felt poisoned of the fatal kind.
Sometimes, I wish I were blind so that my eyes couldn't have fallen upon you,
Couldn't have absorbed you and saved you for future dreams.
If I were blind then I wouldn't believe in love at first sight,
The moment I saw you I was reborn-then died.

i have forgotten the sound of your voice
i have miss placed the expressions on your face
i have lost the way your body moved
i remember the pain,
but not the act of loving you

They walked in together with flushed faces and cold ears, after walking for what seemed like minutes in the coniferous forest surrounding the cedar cabin. Those minutes were actually hours, but when they were out here time did a funny thing and sometimes stopped all together. He hung their coats in the closet as she stripped herself of boots and socks, with bare cold feet she walked across the patterned carpet feeling its fibres between her toes. She  perched herself on the couch in her favourite reading spot. He then too assumed his position on the couch allowing a space inside his outreached arm to be filled by her appreciative body. As she blankly gazed at the green life out the window, he gazed at her. Memorizing the freckles on the bridge of her nose and the way she puckered her lips without noticing. Absorbing all of her for a keepsake in case she decided to disappear as fast as she had come. This girl, he thought, is the most beautiful combination of genes and timing I have encountered in my life. But he didn’t mean physically, he meant her laugh and her stubbornness and how she believed she was spontaneous but every moment of her life was  planned. It scared him how much and how detailed he saw his future, and how she was undoubtedly in it as far as he was concerned. Sometimes he wished he didn’t feel so much for her, for them. He had been hurt before and he grew accustomed to the calluses around his heart.

She breathed it all in, slowly but thoroughly. She breathed in the warmth of the burning furnace, the smell of wood that was still alive. She breathed in his sent of musk, soap, and mint. She breathed in his delicious smell of love, his pheromones. This place was exactly what they needed, some time in a surreal place to remember each other and how well they used to fit. How well they do fit. The stress and distractions of everyday life were tugging at the strings that kept them woven together. All they needed was time to be silent together, time to think together about different things. She knew that their hands and souls would fit together again like they always had, if they just gave it a chance. And now, here they were in their own made happiness. Sitting  here as one piece of human, making love in the most innocent of ways.

Thinking of your cold fingers  tracing my spin and making circles on my neglected skin,  makes the air I breathe thin.  Your eyelashes flutter with embarrassment as you try to to steal a kiss from the nape of my neck that was yours all along. Shivers wrap around me like a cloak though all I feel is your body's warmth.

Come home faster my dear.

is what you repeat to me.
But what you are communicating to me
All the I need you to be’s
All the I want you to be’s
All the please baby pleads
All this communicating is key
In reality
Is me changing to be
What you need to see
But what i am not meant to be
And all this communicating is key
Is contridictory to what you believe
Yes. it is a key.
To a door in my heart you have closed
To a brittle locket now froze
Now we sit here in silence
Two islands
In an ocean of pride
And unspoken lies
And I-wish-you-had-tried’s
And i-don’t-want-to-cry’s
And my-hope-has-now-died’s
died
died.
Now our eyes flicker to each other’s faces
Like a candle’s flame thats seen too many places
I hear the air escape from you lungs
And it makes this war endless, that nobody’s won
And I know that you love me;
but I don’t want you to hug me
I want your communicating keys
to just go home
with out me

"how are you?"
"good, considering."
"considering what?"
*(i am unloved)

i can clearly remember the day
i almost called you to say i was coming over
after crying on the phone with my now ex lover
i wanted to drive to the opposite side of town for you
get lost in you
but i was scared to fall into something i wasn't used to
to fall out of the rhythm of loving abusers
i was afraid you'd like me
and that i'd like you back
that we would become something more
then just you putting me back together
because thats all you were good for
i wanted to see you naked
but i couldn't tell if the lust i felt
was born in hate for someone else
i wanted to (make) love
but i was afraid to hurt you more
than i already had
i will always wonder
and i'll always be sorry

Depression:*
an impression,
       on your soul
Left by something horrible

you give a little, so i take a lot

I'm sorry that i always need more from you

I'm sorry that my hunger for your eyes is endless

when did i become this way

you must be so tired

We miss the movie and drive home from the theatre.  Curl up even though it's much too hot out to be this close. The fan drones on, trying to blow the hair off my shinny face. You play with my fingers as you recite the next line in Jurassic Park I tell you not to ruin it, though I know the words too. You smile and kiss my closed mouth until it opens.  I tell you I didn't realize that I missed you this much, and that we've had a dormant kind of love.