Love settles in the back of my head and chest, but if love was a thought it was a feeling in the time of sadness which is all the time of course, sadness does not exist without reality and reality be nothing without despair. The balance of life is not black in white, yin or yen,  or happiness and sadness it is sadness and less sadness because sadness with always cover everyones head with the veil of death because death, is inevitable and death brings sadness therefor sadness is inevitable.

Death lines the corners of my mouth waiting to be inhaled as i smoke my first and maybe last cigarette maybe last because I can die at any moment.

cant you see?
i'm unsatisfied
with my existance

i dont know why
but i breathe
meaninglessly
aimlessly

i am a zombie

I FOR ONE CANNOT CONFRONT PEOPLE
BECAUSE I'M SCARED
I CANNOT DEFEND MYSELF
WITHOUT SHAKING TO THE CORE
I CANNOT TELL PEOPLE THAT WHAT THEY DID TO ME IS WRONG
BECAUSE I..AM.. anxious
ANXIETY RUNS THROUGH MY SOUL AND MY VEINS ALL AT ONCE
BUT " YOU AREN'T YOUR DISORDER ".CORRECT?
OH, BUT I AM BECAUSE
I AM ANXIOUS
THEREFORE I AM  ANXIETY

I ALSO CANNOT PROTECT MYSELF BECAUSE " I " MIGHT HURT SOMEONE
AND " I" MIGHT BE AT FAULT
BECAUSE PROTECTING MYSELF WOULD MEAN SOMETHING/SOMEONE IS ATTACKING ME  
AND THAT OF COURSE, IS MY FAULT

THE THING ABOUT ANXIETY IS, WHEN SOMETHING IS ATTACKING YOU, YOU ATTACK YOURSELF
BECAUSE YOU TRY TO FIGHT ANXIETY BUT
ANXIETY IS YOU
                          -a.a.e

Streams flow from my eyes
The road of loneliness twist and turns down my spine
Wrists like oak trees with carved memories of loved ones souls
Fingertips as delicate and cold as an alabaster snowflake
Wind chills my body; it feels the way it felt when I lost my soul
Now I lie empty and cold wondering the amount of time it would take to build a new one
…A heart that is… it fell and broke like the glass that it is
When you tore my soul from underneath me
Like a terrible way to impress a love interest at a dinner
I’m scarred
The memory of the day you told me that your are not mentally physically and emotionally devoted to my whole being
As I am to you