There's one thing that bothers me my entire life, it's not you or anyone else, but me
I feel so powerless, helpless and weak, even though that is what I should seek.
I can't contain this damage any longer, it has to fade and I want others to see that those problems are eating on me.

But who should I tell about myself, I am like a forgotten book in a shelf.
There's no one gonna take me out, untouched and dusty.
I wish I could erase these pages which hurt me the most, because these negative ones are the host.
I am a garden full of dead flowers thirsty for water but all they get are my salty tears, they're drowning together with my fears.

I cannot sleep at night cause I am alone and inside myself ignites a fight.
Why can I not be like everyone else, happy and living without disgrace.
I am depressed, stressed and I can confess that I don't ever felt blessed.
I don't believe in god, someone else or even me.
I've lost myself years ago and with it my dignity.

The noise I hear is just an illusion, I fear.
When I cross the road and drop a tear, a smile tries to appear on my face and people look at me with disgrace.

The reason I smile is because it's fun that nobody reaches up after a while and why should I care, if people only stare.

I just want to be here, what do they have to fear?
Do I get in their way or they in mine, is living in the same city now a crime?
To question is insane because the silence will remain.

They've got nothing to say and I won't ever go away.
I can treat them right or wrong but it doesn't matter because we'd never get along.

These looks tell me more than books. It seems like I should leave but this won't happen as long as I breathe. It's my life and my decision and I really couldn't care less about their vision.

Everyone around me stays silent as if speaking up equals violent.
I have nothing to offer, neither am I willing to take, just respect eachother for God's sake.

I was born a warrior, even if I always faced defeat, I've never stopped to breathe. I've been trying hard and even if I failed, I've still been standing at last.

Over twenty years of sorrow and it seemed like nobody had some time to borrow. I had no goal in my life, but I've always been aiming to thrive. Many months, actually years, I've been wasting with wiping away my tears.

But every tear that I have dropped, was just another knowledge unlocked. A new chapter of my story, but all of them never ended with a sorry. My feelings were turned into stones and I could feel the pain passing through my bones.

Pain, tears and me, nobody will ever take us apart, because that's how it shall be. I've told myself that everything might change some day, and as long as my heart is beating I will stay.

If I write, then I usually stay up late night.
Most of the times, I don't think about good rhymes.
Sadly at last, I am wasting years thinking about my past.

There's something in my head, something on my mind.
Maybe it's another sad story which my brain just has designed.
But I see no reason to write it down, I rather have fun with this weird looking clown.
Everything feels so weird and strange, but at least I don't have to adapt to change.

I am nothing, but that's still something, not much not even a bit, but nothing.
A lot of these things might not make sense to you, but that's fine, not everything fits, just like my shoe.

lies
obsession
violence
exhausting

I am living a nightmare, but who would actually care.
What or who am I to you, probably nothing and I know that this is true.
I am walking the way alone, hoping for someone being there for me before my last hopes are getting blown.

I trust everyone and that's a big mistake, I should just care about myself for ******* sake. But I am weak and just want people to understand, that's the only thing I would call my demand.

But who am I to a random, I am living the life of a phantom.
Nobody really wants to see me, but this need of love will never leave me be.

I should just leave the way, before my hopes turn me gray and I don't want to suffer in a world of ignorance, that's my true stance.
If you ever need my help, don't hesitate to ask, because I won't wait until you yelp.