I have no where to hide
Nothing to blind me
The silent space between us
grows more and more
I don't know how I'll shield myself
from your eyes that never look my way
I don't know what to feel
Will I ever feel okay?

Everything I notice reminds me of you
Letters turn to words turn to sentences
all about you and you have no clue
I'm filled with what ifs and regrets
Is there anything I can do?

I have no other destination
No where else to go
There are no more distractions
to hide myself from reality
I no longer know how to avoid
my emotions
They are breaking down my walls
Will I overcome this one-sided devotion?

I wrote you poems you will never read
Sentences turn to stanzas turn to poems
all for you and I can't help it
I can't stop thinking about you anymore
*Will my thoughts of you ever quit?

I used to question life
Like why do I have to feel this pain?
Why do I have to feel the shattered pieces of my heart?
Why life ain't treating me good?  

And I used to question my own existence,  my own life
Why I had this life?
Why am I here?
Why life is so unfair?

And when life question me
Why do you hate yourself?
Why do you keep pushing people away?
Why do you hate life?

I used to question if things could get worse and now I wonder if my life can get any better.

The soles of my feet have been cemented
To the same plot of land
For years now.

They have offered me my freedom,
A chance to disappear,
But it’s only a concept, isn’t it?

I can unhinge myself from these walls
If I pay a pretty penny.
I’ve never seen green;
Only red.

A chance to earn
What I should be given
Is never allowed,
Because I can’t earn
That pretty penny
Without paying
A pretty penny.
That’s how this all works.

This is all my fault.

The soles of my feet have been cemented
To the same plot of land
For years now
And I’m sinking
Quickly.

When I lay in bed at night
I see your face
floating in the light-less air of my sleeplessness,
When I’m laying in the grass
Staring at the sky
I see your eyes in the clouds,
When I’m walking down the street
I see strangers
that look like you,
& At the setting of the sun
I see your figure
in the trailing shadows.
Always.
Slipping.
Through.
My.
Fingers.
Let me grasp this, this entity you are.
Because you’re more than human,
or you’re at least part supernova
or a quarter stardust
or something.