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 Aug 2014 Sofia Von
Xiaoyu C
7.31.14
 Aug 2014 Sofia Von
Xiaoyu C
inhale,
exhale.

thin paper burns closer to fingertips
the hours between night and early morning
everything distorted from last night's trip
arms, legs, body, dull and yet still aching
soft static from a radio plays on
too soon comes the reality of dawn

inhale,
exhale.

swirling smoke passes barely parted lips
peaceful landscapes are the most misleading
reflecting on broken relationships
glimpses of happiness always fleeting
ashes drift down like snow on a dark lawn
they crumble and fall apart; then they're gone

inhale,
exhale.

chipped nail polish, jeans that are worn and ripped
outside now there's a slight breeze blowing
shoes peeking over the edge of the bridge
holding on to the railing, fingers clinging
people say it's important to 'stay strong'
is it sometimes stronger to just move on

inhale,
exhale*.
First poem... Sorry the content is a little dark.
High speed **** generation
warped minds
strong hands
unreality stimulating, simulating
digital lights flickering
images of *******
endless variety of every kind
on demand
what has become of us
what has become of touching, romance
creepy accusations because genuine human interaction is going the way of the dodo,
Oh, he didn't follow the smooth script, no chance man
Maybe your testosterone was spent elsewhere and your vibes told the true true
either way no *** for you
the youth exploited and exploiting, insane cycles
the itch, the tingle, the curiosity, the drive for more, dopamine release
My generation had the first ******* access
point and click
no barriers can stop that drive, rooted in youthful pubescent longing
we're sick
on the digital drug

Touch me instead
bath me in your ***
not this crude moving picture
Let me drink you, taste your juice, feel you slide,
touch the walls of your world, explode them,
show the limitless illusion to boundaries, kink, *******,
stop watching, live it
chronic ******* robs us of the real intimacy,
don't drain your desire for me with this crude digital *******,
just because its there
You can touch me, not your keyboard, not this plastic and metal
I suppose you can touch yourself,
but have the imagination to fantasize
and then make it real
share your life force with a human being,
not some rag to be thrown away
Rise to your lust, conquer the animal
make its power serve
make love,
not digital mental war
There's no going back now
from whence we came
fail to take the leap
again & again
die but once
the cowards can't
live a life and take a chance
rip my heart from my chest
feel it bleeding in your hands

and what's this beating in my head
it's all the things I never said
all the moves I never made
God bless me with one more day
If into moonlight I will make
a solemn pledge
a beggars oath
to follow soul and never know
regret's bitter taste upon my tongue
that and to stay forever young

So lay beside me one more night
feel my warmth, I'll hold you tight
feel the kiss of your wet thigh
sing you songs I never tried
together slowly into night
Wake up every day: Can't get out of bed
Feel like I've been chewed up, spit out, and landed on my head.
All the blood rushing through, leaving my mind black and blue
And what I'm left with is feeling helpless, without a single clue.

Try to rise up, but, these sheets are made of glue
My rubber mind bounces my sanity and I'm stuck to thoughts of you
Even though I'm trying to prove I can improve
I'm still stuck in this same ******' place I can't move

As I lay stripped away to my basic DNA
I reflect upon the past wishing only changes for today
But what I learned from the time my heart had me enslaved is that
Working towards tomorrow ***** the life out of today

So, act on true intentions
Don't let dismay be a distraction
Any emotion can kinetically push any dying dream into action
If you're feeling like you're gasping for air in this cold ocean
Just remember that only your own will can preserve your life when...

All the weight that you carried and never bothered showin'
All these lessons you taught yourself, you though aided your growin'
But they just stretched you seven different ways
Leaving you with six more demons that you must face

Now that who you are and who you play finally meet face to face
You can run to lead the race instead of shoving your foot in your face
Self-censorship is what grasps your legs
Keeping you shackled in this dark, dismal, place

Start fresh, I'll use resentment for the best
Remove the weights that held me down, revealing the hole in my chest
I stagger to the bathroom just to make sure,
That all these trials that I have endured

Haven't changed how I appear, as I gaze into the mirror
I realize that the real lie is that I was ever here
Great job, you finally managed to face your fears
Now, let's see how you do against a jury of your peers

My judge holds me in contempt again
No attorney can defend my end
When the time comes for my plea I'll say: "It was anything but innocent"
But, I surely did it with no intent
I never gave myself consent
To hide behind these masks that turned me into my own deadly sins

Now I lay here with no breath
Facing almost certain death
Licked by the flames of my forged hell, with no peace, I will not rest
Until I climb out of this pit
And I finally forget
That I ever had the urge to toss my towel and forfeit
**Don't Quit.
Forget.
Forgive.
Live.
Song lyrics
Anxiety is like a spouse you'll always be stuck with, for better or worse, who drives you crazy but you cannot live without. It lives with you throughout the day and night, holds your hand, nudges you to act, urges you to get up, to do more, to fix something or even make something. It pushes you to the edge, then holds you back right before you fall. It wants you to win, outshine the others, to impress and astonish everyone around you. And just like any marriage, you go with the flow, agree, and nod with a smile. Then one day, it has you by the throat and you find yourself losing it and losing yourself along. And just like friend you can rely on, Xanax is there, offering you an intermission, the gift of quietude, a break. Because the truth is, and I’ll speak for myself here. I want tranquillity once in a while, but I don’t want a tranquil life.
You didn’t meet me at the right time
You didn’t meet me in the right place
Your eyes were begging me to say just one more word
When the only two words that could have come close to explaining are
“Trust issues”

So we talked,
Then you slept on my shoulder,
Then I watched you fidget with that silver ring on your thumb
As you were trying to find the right words to ask me to stay
And I was trying to let my walls crumble for you, but couldn’t

Finally,
You told me about your big, empty apartment
As we were both watching the rainy, German countryside
Pass outside the window to our right
And you looked at me for a long moment as you asked me to stay
And I am sorry, but all I could do was turn around, say goodbye and wave
As I walked away and got off the train

Tonight, not knowing why I didn’t stay
Why I turned instead and walked away
Is what causes me pain
This is "sorry"
Sorry to the handsome stranger I met that day on the train
I wish I could say that things would be different if I met you again
 Jun 2013 Sofia Von
Tom Orr
Once upon a dainty hill
sat old castle of a young king
not busied by ***** thrills
but in the realm, fair Muse did sing

sorry as such
to trouble you sire
but farmer, lady and great squire
are, unto you, to enquire
how it is the sun makes such fire

to this the young king
furrowed his brow
and scratched his chin
and pondered how

eight days did pass
and woe betide
the pressing question
found no bride

the elders of the castle old
let fairy tales of disorder unfold

a great dragon they say
lit the sun
after finding itself lost
and on the run
from a shadow giant
of world unseen

but the tales of course
were all but dreams.

A little voice
filled the air
with light and weightless
soulful flair

a blacksmith's girl
of simple dress

excuse me sir
i must confess
this minor stir
has caused me stress

the young king bade her speak
and with that, the child weak
stood atop a wonky box
with certain eyes and wavy locks

dear people
i now must say
that it is on this cold and fateful day
my mind has led to such dismay

as I have learned to trust none of you.
Haven't written anything on here much lately, this sprung to mind the other day. Tell me what you think it's about, I love to hear interpretations :)
 Jun 2013 Sofia Von
Tom Orr
Fame
 Jun 2013 Sofia Von
Tom Orr
Bitter cacophony, a swarm of raucous screeches
scratching against the infinite sides
of the sleeping labyrinth
desperate to be heard, to be known.
Climbing upon one another
using ladders made of lies.
Locust-like in movement
unite and disperse in detestable symphony
lazy and hollow
harrowing torment.
Shut away in a little box
and scattered amongst the open
universe of the ethereal untouched.
Never to be noticed.
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