hours to end
seconds to start
the endless thinking
brain gears spinning out of control
thoughts demanding attention

trying to sleep
it keeps you awake
causing feelings in your stomach and chest
to match the madness in your mind
dangerously debilitating

finnaly they wear you down
as you slip into comatose
your body and brain exhausted from fighting
your eyes as red as the blood on your skin
your breaths slowing as you drift away
and you sleep

but the first breath awake
from a soft sad slumber
is a jumpstart
and everything wakes up
the thoughts are running like a raging river
loathing the time they lost as you dreamt

and now you're awake
staring at the ceiling fan
nauseous from the spinning
and the reality of being awake

s.s

i wish i could pick up the pieces
of this broken bond we've built
and mold them together
in a way that would leave it invincible
to the battles it has yet to fight
and the people who try to tear it apart

because i want to fix it
this chaotic mess we've created
to prove
that love is a glue
strong enough to fix these broken hearts
and leave them with the power to fight off any disbelievers

but here i sit
in the ruins of us
and i'm searching for a starting point
but all i manage to see
is what could have been
and i don't know how to fix
a puzzle with missing pieces

s.s

i crave a love so pure
a love in which angels
sing from the heavens above
a true love
but true love isn't really true
the angels won't sing down to hell.

just a friend
that holds my heart
and should rightfully know it's his

just a friend
that is playing it smart
and knows how hard this is

just a friend
as we restart
a friend i love that is

s.s

i am weary
because i fear your departure
for you have left once
and i'm sure you will disappear again

s.s

just be open and honest
that's what you've always told me
but little did i know
it had to be the truth you wanted to hear
or it still would never be good enough

s.s

talking through the tension
attempting to ignore the feeling in the air
the one we never mention
because we like to pretend it isn't there
that every glare is a misunderstanding
that you are only having a bad day
so we keep talking through the tension
and just push it all away

s.s