Two years into adulting.
It’s possible, who knew?
I look the same as yesterday
But today I’m twenty two!

Dentist trips still freak me out,
Sometimes I burn an egg.
My blanket covers both my feet,
So monsters won’t grab my leg.

I don’t go out on Friday night,
My ankles feel the weather.
And when I help the kids with homework,
We both learn math together.

Sometimes I’ll burst out crying
For no reason at all.
I know the words to one rap song,
And still prefer guys tall.

My puns are all intended,
There is a spoon I hate,
I’ll never mix my whites and brights,
I can’t stay up too late.

My life has been a wild ride
But I’m thankful for each day.
One day I hope to be mature,
One day... but not today.

Let’s go way back
To a simpler time.
To our very first chapter:
The summer we were nine.

You were too cool,
And I was too shy.
You didn’t really like me,
Sometimes you made me cry.

It didn’t take long
To outgrow that phase.
We developed a bond
In what seemed like two days.

From hiking adventures
To countless sleepovers,
We conquered the world
And saved snapping turtles.

When times became tough,
You knew just what to say.
My pain was your pain,
You made things okay.

You knew my whole heart;
All the grief, all the joys.
We shared endless phone calls
and complained about boys.

Fast forward to now:
We’re on year twenty-two.
Some things may have changed
But our friendship stayed true.

We’re secure on our own
But we’re stronger together.
I thank God for you,
You’re my best friend forever.

She watches me
as I illuminate her
head on the pillow,
still cornering the daylight
into the rear window.

She lays, outstretched,
filling the back seat of the car
with unwrapped thoughts,
too deep;
my rays can only reach so far.

Her sleepy eyelids blink
at me in question.
A suggestion?
I hide my face behind a cloud.
"'till soon," I whisper.
I'm only just a surface moon.

Once upon a special day,
Twenty years ago,
God placed a legend on this earth:
Anzhelika Van Gogh.

She's the epitome of art,
Her curls are a sculpture.
Even the coffee that she spills
Creates an abstract picture.

When she walks into a room,
All eyes turn to stare.
It may or may not be because
She overturned a chair.

Eating healthy is a chore,
Water just won't do.
She'll wash down her chicken wings
With a Mountain Dew.

Her fashion inspiration
Is any mom of four.
All outfits are determined by
The options on the floor.

She's wild and chaotic.
But often, so is art.
The more you get to know her,
The more you see her heart.

Fellas, are you hearing this?
She's beauty AND she's brains.
But bring umbrellas with you
'Cause in her life, Christ reigns.

She'll leave an impact on your life,
And shower you with love.
Happy birthday to the gift
God sent us from above.

When I was young and still quite dumb,
I tried out something just for fun.
I didn’t know if it would work,
My sister said I was berserk.

Feeling a little bit too clever,
I tied a few bed sheets together.
Then tied the sheet rope to the bed
“Please hold my weight”, I silently begged.

I opened the window, dropped the rope,
And for the best I only hoped.
With both my arms around the twine,
I started inching down the line.

Then, suspended in mid air,
I heard the rope begin to tear,
And with a rather dreadful sound,
From two floors up I plummeted down.

Around mid fall I heard a crack,
I landed, grunting, on my back.
My head felt dizzy, my finger ached;
The whole length of my back was scraped.

I walked home limping in a shame.
For there was no one else to blame.
Oh, and one thing worse than my broken finger?
My entire family watching from the window.

It's the cool autumn breeze that smells of earth and new beginnings.
It's that one country song that makes me feel nostalgic.
It's the ominous clouds and heavy air before a thunderstorm.
It's that moment of bittersweet emotion after reading the last word of a really good book.
It's watching the sun slant in through my bedroom window and create a mural on my wall.
It's rolling my windows down as we near the shore, and breathing in the salty air.
It's hearing my mom's contagious belly laugh.
It's that tired-happy feeling after a productive day.
It's when the Ferris wheel pauses and I'm at the very top, admiring the lighted world below.
It's the lump in my throat and tears in my eyes during a heartfelt prayer.
It's my niece wrapping her chubby little arms around my neck and putting her head on my shoulder.
It's laughing uncontrollably with my best friend at the grocery store, and not caring what people are thinking.
It's lying on the trampoline and watching the stars on a summer night.
It's the adrenaline running through my veins after a run.
It's listening to the sound of rain pounding on my window as I'm tucked under the covers.

It's the little things that impact me in the biggest way.

I'm feeling kind of lonely
but please
leave me alone.
I want to open up my heart
but please
don't ask what's wrong.

I'm longing to be rescued
but please
just let me drown.
I've built these walls
to keep you out
but please

just tear them down.

When my thoughts are too heavy,
My feelings - too numb,
When my heart is unsteady,
And the tears start to come,

I put on my running shoes.
Tonight I can't hide.
I pace myself, breathing,
Letting go with every stride.

The melody of my footsteps,
The rhythm of my breaths,
Have synchronized into nothing;
A calm stillness inside my head.

I'm light  as a feather.
I let myself fly.
The world is a blur, but tonight,
... I'm alive.

There lives an old lady that looks a bit shady
Who came to my house all alone.
One day she crept in - maybe I let her in?
I locked the front door, that's for sure.

She was awfully frail, and smelled a bit stale,
And she glared with disdain and complained.
She made me stay home so she wouldn't be alone
While she groaned at the ache in her bone.

The days dragged on but she wouldn't be gone
She's still here - as we speak - in my chair.
I could kick her out but she'd probably shout
You should hide if you're on her bad side.

I've tried "go away" but she's decided to stay
Taking over my life without strife.
I want to be free, but she lives inside me
You see, that old lady is me.

The last golden rays of sun
Caress the trees
Before slipping over the horizon,
Leaving a peacefulness in their wake;
A quiet stillness.
Nothing moves except my eyes
As they close, and
There’s a feeling in my chest
I can’t explain
I think it’s happiness.


The heavy sound of rain
Pounding on the rooftop
Comforts me as I sit
Wrapped in a blanket on the porch,
A cup of coffee in my hand,
And just the thoughts inside my head.
I close my eyes
And give in to the feeling
I can’t explain,
I think it’s happiness.

the difference between seeking to find me and seeking to stumble into me is the guarantee of only one of those.

and
just like
   tree buds
    in the
  spring,
i have been
     granted
  a season
     to grow

A candle flickering with light -
The comfort of a lonely night,
Where melancholy shades of me
Blur with the raindrops perfectly
And where my soul, seeking to nest,
On scribbled page discovers rest.
The air is thick with scent of pine,
The heart is merry with a rhyme,
The storm outside keeps on, despite,
The comfort of my lonely night.

The train has departed.
I’m in an unfamiliar town.
Unfamiliar faces all around me
I want to belong here
But there is no comfort.
I’m roaming with no destination.
Underneath the facade
I am screaming,
Searching for familiarity.
I keep searching and panic sets in.
I can’t find it.
I don’t feel it.
There must be a reason why I’m still here,
Why I’ve been left behind.
I’m lost and afraid and
Nobody will help me
But they’re watching
Waiting.
I don’t belong here.
I want to run, but
My feet are chained down.
So I sit down
And I wait
As if it was my choice.

The light fades and the day drains;
Its secrets left untold
And whether the sun will rise again,
Is not by us foretold.

Today has been a gift to you
Despite its aches and sorrows;
Another chance for you to claim
Unlimited tomorrows.

So do what you can, with what you have
And give thanks to the One above.
Give more than you get, and leave more than you take,
And do all these things in love.

It's way too hot
Call 911
Write out a ticket
To the sun

I may have died
Can someone check?
I need a beverage
Past my neck

I'm breathing in
Somebody's sweat
I'd pat your back
But it looks wet

My last brain cell
Has over-heated
I might combust
If left untreated

I needed that vent
No pun intended
Let's hope this summer’s
Not extended

they fell into
a sea of words
and drowned side by side
in silence.

The dead rest and I rest with them
under the shade of the maple leaves.
Their world is cold, eternal, cramped;
mine: sunny, free,
temporary.
We share a home but they are confined
while I am free to roam and wander,
or lie upon their mossy bed as I read
about yet another world -
Imaginary; existing somewhere in between.
People come and go as the day drags on.
Sunlight glints off the headboards.
They arrive slowly. Leave quickly.
We stay.
The air is fragrant with the scent of freshly turned soil; their blanket, my bedsheet. This is a land of peace
and I am a guest,
temporarily.

I am the sun
when it is night
I am the autumn
when it's spring
I am a cello
in its case
I am a star
in early daylight
I am July
when it's November

I am
hidden
patiently waiting for
my time
to be beautiful.

I woke up early morning
With one thought in my head.
“I cannot wait until tonight
When I am back in bed.”

I’m on my second coffee
And still I’m not awake.
I pour a third and fourth cup;
My hands are starting to shake.

Don’t attempt to speak to me
Before the clock strikes ten.
It’s hard for me to form a sentence-
Or even a word - till then.

And if you know what’s good for you
Don’t ask me “where’s that smile?”
I will not hesitate to slap you;
I’m feeling extra vile.

Luckily, this cloud will pass,
It’s just a friendly warning.
So you will know what to expect
From me tomorrow morning.

We all know of someone who's tougher than nails
     Amid sorrow and failure, whose courage prevails
The one who is down but denies his defeat
     The one who will rise back up on his feet,

The one whose voice is as strong as it's steady
     The one whose knees don't feel like spaghetti
Upon whose shoulder we often have cried
     The one who is fearless...
     But shaking inside.

a world of cotton
lies above
white puffs
s c a t t e r e d into the blue.
I watch them move
from a world below
and wonder
if they’re watching me too.

i am the sea
and you think you are a submarine
completely submerged
in the deepest part of me,
but you are a boat
barely touching the surface of the water.
and the only way to let you in
is to fill you up
with me.

patience is not just waiting. it is a practice of composure and humility. if hope is the thing with feathers, patience is a smooth riverbed stone: gentle, yet uncompromising.

Dear younger me, where have you gone?
It saddens me to think it’s been so long.

I miss your smile, the way your eyes lit up.
The happiness that overfilled your cup.

You were carefree, your heart untouched by sorrow.
At peace with yesterday, today, tomorrow.

When did it start? the whispers made of lead;
The lies that swarmed like flies inside your head.

They told you what you were wasn’t enough.
They touched your creamy soft skin and made it tough.

You clung to every whisper, every lie.
Believed you weren’t enough, with just one try.

I’m sorry for not sticking up for you.
For not reminding you of what was true.

Instead, I hurt you more, destroyed your pride.
Made you forget the girl you were inside.

I pity you, your heart was so naïve.
I’m sorry for what I made you believe.

I didn’t mean to speak to you so rough.
I’m sorry for not loving you enough.

Try to remember who you were, for me.
Before the world told you who you should be.

There is a place deep in the woods
To everyone else unknown.
My own secluded hideaway;
A home away from home.

It’s there I feel the most myself,
No part of me to hide.
It’s there I feel the presence of God,
He’s right there by my side.

The trees have heard my deepest thought
And birds have sung my song.
Under the golden rays of sun
Is right where I belong.

It’s moments when I’m by myself
That I feel less alone.
There, in the silence of the woods
Is where I’ve truly grown.

I cannot help but think of you
And though it’s been a while,
When I remember times with you,
I cannot help but smile.

I know I’m just a friend to you
And that’s okay with me.
But still it makes me sad to think
That’s all we’ll ever be.

I overthink each move you do
And every word you say.
Looking for the smallest hint
That you feel the same way.

I’m driving myself crazy here
And you don’t have a clue.
One question keeps me up at night:
Would you care if you knew..

I’m crazy about you?

If only you could see
The way your eyes light up
As you share your passionate dreams.
Your smile
When it reaches up
And forms a crease around your eyes,
The way you throw your head back
When you laugh,
And the sound of it
Is a beautiful song,
A wonderful symphony.

If only you could see
What you can’t see
When you look in the mirror,
You’d believe me when I say
You’re beautiful.

they met
online
he was
so fine
his words
were sweet
she wished
they'd meet
he was
on guard
she still
fell hard
and then
one day
he did
not stay
he led
her on
just to
be gone
after
goodbye
she had
a cry
but now
with time
she is
just fine
his messages
have been erased
his memory
has been replaced.

My dearest Prince Charming, have you lost your way?
The road that you took must’ve led you astray.

You missed a few turns, now your horse wants to drink.
“Was it this way or that way?” And you sit down to think.

Your throat is too dry and your leg has a cramp.
It’s getting too dark, you’ve decided to camp.

The bonfire’s blazing, you’re feeling alright.
You’ll continue your journey when you see the sun light.

Many weeks have gone by and you’re still in no hurry.
I’ve been waiting for you, now I’m starting to worry.

Did you fall off a cliff or drown in the lake?
Did you catch a disease or get bitten by a snake?

My love is still waiting, all gift-wrapped and ready.
It’ll soon collect dust so come claim it already.

We have places to go, and people to see.
Oh how happy together we’ll be, you and me.

Every day I’ll wake up as the sun is still rising.
And I’ll watch till I see you ride up the horizon.

a blanket of white
descends slowly and steadily,
pausing
only to weave silky threads
through the evergreens.
it resides gently
upon its terminal resting place,
muting the muddy earth
with a barely audible "shh.."
and the finality
of an icy embrace.

There is a seedling
Planted in
The soil of my heart.

She’s delicate
But full of life;
A priceless work of art.

A gentle touch,
A loving hand,
Is all she really needs

To open up
And face the sun,
And sprout her first new leaves.

Thick, heavy raindrops beat against the window, reflecting the moonbeams as they chased each other down the window pane.
I watched, fixating my gaze on one rivulet at a time as it joined with another, and another, and another.
It was midnight, and I sat wrapped up in a fleece blanket by the window.  The steam rising from my mug mingled with my warm breath. My mind was blank, with only the steady rhythm of rain in the distance.

first love is
a candle flame
you watch from afar,
admiring its red hues,
enchanted
by its tenderness,
yearning
for its comfort
but then you allow yourself
to get too close,
letting the passion consume you,
not feeling the burn
until
you are reduced to ashes