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Mar 2020 · 220
a strange type of sadness
sidra Mar 2020
The sun sets yet another day,
I watch all the colours fade into one dark veil
infecting the sky
and with the sky goes my mind.

Another night alone with my thoughts,
the same thoughts that eat me alive,
numbing me until i feel nothing.
I'm scared, I'm scared, I'm scared.

I hold myself as I drown in my sorrows.
I'm scared of what i cannot control
and what i cannot control
lives deep inside me.

I know I could end this all
it's so simple, yet i cannot do it.
It is a strange type of sadness,
one that i cannot even feel

yet is there all the time,
haunting me every night.
I hear the dark sky,
begging me to join him,

tempting me more and more
with promises of serenity
and open arms,
ready to finally hold me.

BY SIDRA ALRIFAI
Mar 2020 · 214
sea of serene sorrows
sidra Mar 2020
Sometimes I feel like I'm being held underwater,
I open my mouth and scream for help,
I kick and push, desperate
to escape her clutch.

I want someone to help me,
I want someone to hear me
and pull me out of this
bottomless sea of sorrows.

She violently floods me,
I feel the water cascade through me.
I feel it crush me inside,
drowning me slowly.

I begin to realise that
no one will ever hear me,
when my head is this deep
under the sea.

Eventually I get tired.
I'm tired of the kicking
I'm tired of the screaming.
I am ready to succumb.

I close my eyes
and feel as my head finally goes silent.
I find comfort
at the bottom of the sea.

I feel her current
as she caresses me softly,
handling me with the utmost care.
I feel safe.

She wraps me in her warm embrace,
closing in on me,
suffocating me gently.
I inhale once more

finally free.

BY SIDRA ALRIFAI
Mar 2020 · 152
For Him
sidra Mar 2020
I love you
three simple words
that hold an infinite amount of feelings.
First it's happiness
overwhelming happiness,
you tell yourself you can never be sad again
but love is the deepest sorrow you can face.
It's delicate, like a rose
but poisonous like the thorns
for the love,
it slowly turns to hate.
You love him
with all that you have you love him
you want nothing but for him
to love you
but he doesn't,
for when he looks at you his heart stays steady
whilst yours aches in pain.
You're not oblivious
you just refuse to let go of him
you cling onto the make belief ideology
that you can be loved when you know
you simply cannot.
Your eyes swell
as you think about his doting touch
your heart breaks
as you sit and wait yet another day
for him to finally say
those three simple words.
And you know you could keep waiting for him
until your very last days
only to hear him once say
'I love you'
BY SIDRA AL RIFAI

— The End —