I'm learning so much these days
Social mediating my way through this life
Like how to get away with things that I say
Which most times aren't very nice

It's really not that big of a secret
Anyone can join in on the fun
Just throw an LOL! on the end my friend
And you can insult most anyone

For example, you're the worst person in the world LOL!
Simple enough...see what I mean?
As you let the truth fly the wise in their own eyes
Have no idea of what they've just seen

So let's all try this together
Everyone line up single file
Wait! You call that a line?! Are you people out of your minds?!?
Do you all have beans for brains? LOL!

I think you all now get what I'm saying
I think I explained it rather well
Unless your all just a bunch of dim witted Neanderthals
Oh I almost forgot.....LOL!

Everything is just a great big
"I don't know!"
Right now.

yes i admit it
that yes i am an addict
give me something to cling to
and i'll take it to the limit

no i'm not proud
of some of what i've done
hard some days to keep the count
but definitely more than once

and now my latest addiction
seems to be poetry
some have even mentioned
that's not a bad place to be

are they too in denial
are they themselves to far gone
not knowing all the while
they're also playing to its song

with anything once you lose control
and it has control of you
the deeper it is you dig the hole
the more you tend to lose

to me it's a constant battle
i'll be fighting till the end
because yes i am an addict
and poetry, my latest addiction

How the **** I got here,
I still don't know,
reasons unexplained,
just let me go,
evil, it will reign,
looking through my eyes,
never be the same,
forced inside,

you bring me close to the edge,
and I keep on pushing,
now I know it's the end,
but I'll keep on searching,

you bring me close to the edge,
I am lost within time,
screaming voice in his head,
hear them talking in mine-

Little lights,
Sparking more than interest in my eyes,
Little lights,
Come from somewhere I'd be scared to find,

Little lights,
Distract me from the horror in my mind,
Little lights,
Keep my eyes wide open with their shine,

Little lights,
Little lights,
Getting closer,
Intertwined,

Little lights,
Little lights,
Dwell inside,
A sinner's mind-

"When the sins of my father,
weigh down in my soul,
and the pain of my mother,
will not let me go"


you told me when i'd grow up i'd understand some day,
but ever since we went our seperate ways I could never grip why it had to be this way,
back and forth until you slammed the door and went away,
To come back for more and slap your "*****" across the face,

But somethin brought you back to your senses like it always did,
hate your life and blamed your wife but loved your kids,
you staind her mind and made her cry and punched and kicked until she layed to die with bloodshot eyes you ****** *****,

All the alcohol and drugs you did just made me sick,
only ******* hit their women,
I shoulda sprayed a clip,

Sometimes I wished you'd never come back to me cuz I saw my mama truly happy,
and I know that deep inside she loved you once,
but one punch was enough and the rest that came was just too much,
every day you showed up drunk,
it was the same old same and still she showed her love,
I guess you never could appreciate her for what she truly was,

The image of a beautiful lady bruised up is tatted in my brain,
its guys like you that give guys like me a bad name,
cuz "we're all the same" and that could never change,
but one **** up's enough,
who'd walk back to pain?

Bruises fade and scars are covered,
but emotional damage sticks with you,
I love my mother and I know you loved her too,
and what you did wasn't right to you,
but what happened, happened,
I shoulda stuck a knife in you,

She tried for you but won for us,
me and my sisters,
I love em so much and I tell you what,
if they meet a punk like you i'll rip out his tongue,

I won't forgive you for what you done,
but you're still my dad and i'm still your son-

Then I look at you as a person,
I saw through your eyes and heard you cry,
you were always hurtin,
and I don't why but i'm like that too,
I guess we're the same in a way,
maybe that's why I don't like you,

Well i'm older now and I kinda get it,
I had some time to think and I wish you didn't leave,
we left the house but you left for good,
now it hurts every time I drink,
every drug I do reminds me of you,
maybe i'm just tryna hide the pain every time I fly away,
20 year old alcoholic,
i'm in your shoes every step I take,
I even look like you for christ's sake,
its like we got the same brain,

The day you left it hit me,
and ever since it felt like somethin's missing,
but for reasons unexplained I don't wana see your face,
its not because I hate but maybe I just changed,
all that I can say is I hope that you're okay,
my bad for bein cold but my feelings complicate,
but the fact that you're only human is clouded,
all the times that you shouted and pounded your fists in her again and again,
****** me off to no end,
i'm chokin on regret of not jumpin in to bust your head,
i'd give up everything to know you're dead,
nothin's left but painful memories-


"when the sins of my father,
Weigh down in my soul,
and the pain of my mother,
will not let me go,"
i'm consumed in regret,
I shoulda stepped in,
but please forgive me mother,
I was too young-

Forever changing,
Never one thing,
always pacing,
in search of something,

but what? is the question,
this depression is endless,
regressing and trepid,
defenseless,
infected,

hidden words in your beautiful maze,
spoken with taste,
left me broken for days,
hoping for change but the glow in your face,
pokes through the gates of my opening brain,

sold to you,
pain,
is holding me,
caged,
broke through the rain to turn over the page,
hopelessly dazed from the smoldering blaze,

"know the truth...
take..."
I know it's you,
"pay"
emotional waves are controlling me, "slave,"
hold onto the reins in this motionless place-



"focus"

breathing,

"chosen"

seizing,

paralyzed sterilization,
glaring eyes stare through vibrations,
beware, you'll find the stairs to damnation,
my eye sight was taken,
I tried but escaped it,

coming closer to your touch,
every night I try,
I wish I knew what it was,
have I lost my mind?-