I guess I'm scared
because of that dream, I can't explain.
"what if"s come through, running
running, running, running
as if they're about to flow beyond my thinking capacity
"what if you leave?"
"what if you are making your choice right now,
thinking what to say to not make me feel alone"
"what if,
I'm the only one making this work"
what if...

sumabay sa pag-agos, ang sabi ng iba
mas hindi ka raw mapapagod, ang sabi ng iba
mas madaling gumaya sa ginagawa nila, ang sabi ng iba
pero bakit ganoon

sinubukan kong sumabay sa agos
sinubukan kong gumaya sa ginagawa nila
pero bakit tila mas napagod pa ako?

iilan lang kaming nagtatanong
iilan lang kaming pilit kumakawala
sa kung anong agos na sinusundan nila.

Ever feel like overthinking a lot of things?
Like at the end of the day,
You'll feel like, you're not for each other.

They can make her happy, but not quite.

There are different reasons why you write.
You write because...
...you're happy?
you're sad?
you're delighted?
you're mourning?
keeping a secret?
But whichever reason you have,
you still write what's inside.
What other people can't see,
can't decipher beneath the words you speak,
can't understand the emotions flowing
through the sentences you can't speak out loud.
You write, pouring the feelings you can't let out,
you write. using the words you once thought can't explain what you feel.
You write, thinking that someone out there can finally discern what you're hiding inside.

""You like because, and you love despite."

Hi ----. I wanna start my Christmas greeting with that special quote above. The moment I start liking you, it was all of the "because." Because you're funny, because you make me happy in times I can't even raise my lips to form a smile, or because your jokes are on different level that my humor can't keep up. You are that guy whom anyone can be with and not feel any awkwardness at all. Everyone like you as you are, because of those "because's." But hey, here comes the second part of the quote: the moment when I started to love you and everything became a moment of "despite." I love you despite of our differences. I may be that girl who's weak and tender, and keeps that laughing face to protect her from hurting, and you may be that guy who doesn't care at anyone or anything, but I still love you. I love you despite of not being the guy that's my type. You're far from my type and I think you knew that. I love you despite of what you chose to be, and I'll still be here to support you whatever your choice will be.

Every moment I spent my day thinking and being with you, I get to know more about you. And the more I know about you, the more my love goes deeper for you. It's funny how God didn't gave me someone who's perfect, but someone whom I need and want. I want someone who doesn't smoke, He gave me you. I want someone who likes & cares about kids genuinely, He gave me you. I want someone who has compassion in everyone, He gave me you. He gave me someone who is not only just capable of being perfect for me, but also someone who's willing to take care of me regardless of whatever status we may be.

Merry Christmas. I will always be here, and when I say that, I mean it. I love you.