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The doctor rubbed my sore shoulder
spraying copious amounts of analgesic compound
to freeze the area
from the side of my eye I caught the
silver glint of a 6 inch needle poised
to penetrate my quivering shoulder
with cortisone
intense pain exploded through my consciousness
as the syringe fracked into the deeper regions of
my shoulder

Afterwards, while reflecting on this incident
I thought about polarities and Newton’s Law:
“For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction”
The pain I had just experienced did not occur in a vacuum
Somewhere along the time continuum I’d set up that opposite
swing of the pendulum

I recollected all the intense moments of extreme and dizzying
sense enjoyment, lust and gratification
my mind has sought and indulged in with rabid satisfaction
always wanting more, restless, never content or at peace

When we examine this world, and its quintessential duality
we are confronted with extremes at every angle
Hot, cold, up, down, win, lose
We can’t have birth without death and so on
hmm…. I thought as the enlightenment bulb
went off in my head
This is why many great sages and saints
fostered a way of life that
transcended duality

Lord Buddha extolled the “Middle Path”
He described the middle way as moderation
between the excesses of carnal indulgence
and self mortification

Aristotle gave us the “Golden Mean”
“every virtue is a mean between two extremes, each of which is a vice.”

Sathya Sai Baba states:
“The object of meditation is equanimity,
the object of equanimity is samadhi (enlightenment or self realization)"

This beautiful quote by Bhagavan Baba is redolent with wisdom
and sublime beauty:

“Surrender to God and to life means the absence of duality
and being of the same nature as God.
But such a state is beyond man’s will.
Surrender is when doer, deed and object are all God.
It comes naturally to a heart filled with love for God.
God is as a spring of fresh and sweet water in the heart.
The best tool to dig a well to that inexhaustible source and
savor its sweetness, is Japa (Chanting God’s Name)
Divine city
in the stars...
in my heart
where my Lord
of Kailash, Sathya Sai
dwells
My Soul is a blazing comet
streaking towards You

Sai Bolenath

When will I know?

Grasp?

Realize?

That You are mine
forever?
The lucky red Chinese lanterns filled the restaurant atmosphere
with a happy glow. David and I had just concluded
our meal and set about opening our fortune cookies.
David’s read: “Some extra bucks are floating your way”
“I like that!“ he exclaimed, his face lighting up like the
lucky lanterns swaying from the ceiling.

I opened mine: “From the heart you draw true happiness.”
“I like that even better,” quipped David. I agreed contemplating
on how true wealth is not measured by the amount of
green paper or gold bullion we can cram into our pockets
but by the nature and vast reservoir of love stored
up in our hearts. For it is love that brings the bliss of
self knowledge and makes clear our purpose and path of service.

Of course, the green stuff is necessary for a balanced,
optimum life but it should not become the be all
or end all of our lives.

Sathya Sai Baba says: “Wealth does not accompany one
when he leaves the world. Wealth is necessary only for
meeting one’s essential needs.Too much wealth is
an embarrassment like an over-sized shoe.
Too little of it is likely to be painful like a tight-fitting shoe.
So, it is desirable to have only that amount of wealth
that is adequate for one’s basic needs. You should
try to promote the wealth of good conduct, strive to earn
the eternal wealth of the wisdom of the Spirit.
Happiness is union with God."
Lots of Prema,
sonya ki
Those days, Those days
in Prashanti, not a care in the world
waiting for the Lord of the Universe

Rainbow sequined saris flutter like
colorful prayer flags
in the sultry, warm breezes

Women devotees, buzzing honeybees,
breathlessly squeeze into granite window openings
outside the mandir
straining to see, hoping their adoring eyes
will be blessed by the nectarine vision of Sai Avatar

Seva Dal angels in vivid orange and yellow scarves
manage to bridle the swooning, burgeoning, euphoric
crowds with spirited "Sairam, Sairams"

O Baba
what we wouldn't give for a chance to once more
see your airborne Lotus feet floating towards us
on the golden sands of Puttaparthi

Reverently, I press my fingertips to my eyelids
taking padnamaskar
these orbs, these orbs
once gazed upon the holy sight of
Bhagavan Sri Sathya Sai Baba
Where are You my beloved
Where are You my Lord?

Tropical monsoon rains
pelt my face with a
thousand kisses
I feel You in every drop

Where are you hiding Beloved
Where are You?

Warm winds laden with
fragrance of Your presence
embrace me
You live in every silken caress

Where are You?

Ardor of sun's rays
leaves me breathless
You fan the embers
of my blushing heart
I am shining! I am shining!

Where are You my very breath?

Choir of birds chant Your name
Hari Nam
trees in the forest bend low
cast garlands and fruit
at Your lotus feet
I wander through Paradise with You

Where are you Hari?
Where are You?

"Where is God?
God is in you, with you, in front of you, around you"
- Bhagavan Sri Sathya Sai Baba
I attended an award ceremony for my
eldest grandson, Alexander Sathya
he had been struggling with math
so it was quite thrilling to know he
was going to receive an award
for "most improved" in his class.


His younger brother, Sean Sai,
has been a straight A student
and we regularly attended
award functions for him.
To our great surprise and happiness,
Alex also achieved the Honor Roll!

After the tribute, Alex introduced
his mother and I to some
of his 6th grade classmates.
As I smiled and chatted with
these innocent souls embarking
on their journey through life,
I couldn't help noticing, that imprinted
on their darling faces and inscribed
in their hearts, was the same basic
question, every human being consciously or
unconsciously is continuously asking:

"Who am I?"
"What is my purpose?"
"Where am I going?"

I pray we all realize who we are
make the noble grade and fulfill
the highest:

God's Divine Honor Roll
In the midst of a dream
as I lay ensconced in
cloistered, quiet log cabin shadows
raindrops one by one pelting
the wooden roof
and musky wet earth

Hardness of my army cot
only increased the deep sense
of loneliness and seclusion
pervading my soul

I thought of beloved Sathya Sai
and grasped onto scraps of bliss
falling into the pool of consciousness

From depths of my anguished being
I whispered, "I Love You"

And! like an echo seeking its one true Love
I heard the voice of precious Baba respond
across electric ethers and swampy
forest dreamlands:

"I LOVE YOU!"
"Are you real?" Ravi whispered hoarsely.
Shyama the Mataji from the Yoga Shakti
ashram in Melbourne, smiled,
"As real as any of us," she replied.
Tenderly she tucked warm blankets around Ravi
as he slept on the cold, concrete, cement
steps of the Hindu temple.

Now it all seemed like a mirage to him, a fading dream.
Ravi anxiously waited for David's dark blue van.
Today he was finally leaving the austere environment
of the Buddhist Temple. New born vistas were
blossoming before his astonished eyes.

That morning he had broken the news to his mother.
"Mom I am coming home in a few days!"
His mother gasped with delight on the phone,
nearly swooning. She had just engaged in a
week long sadhana of intense prayers and
pujas in Bangalore pleading for the return of
their only son, Ravi, to their loving arms.

Soon, David and Ravi scooted down the
road waving goodby to the Monk and fellow
Buddhist practitioners. Ravi breathed a deep
sigh of relief. Everything was going so smoothly.
Later in the day I met David and Ravi for lunch.
Ravi had a slightly dazed appearance on his face.
So much had transpired in the past year. It was
as if he had been reborn. Each baby step he took,
God was there urging him on, catching him if he
seemed unsteady or unsure, infusing him with
fortitude, strength and great love.

I asked Ravi if he planned to say
goodbye to Shyama, the Mataji at the ashram.
Since time was pressed he decided to say farewell
in a phone call.

We wrapped up our lunch, David had errands to run,
so I took Ravi in my car. On our way home
we stopped at Walgreens to get some
chocolates for his Mom. We noticed a
woman pulling out of the parking lot.
"Oh My God!" Ravi exclaimed,
"That's Shyama!" We dashed over to her car.
"Ravi's leaving!" I gushed. Shyama Ma
got out of her car, gently embracing Ravi
and blessing him. We chatted briefly, then Shyama left.

Ravi and I stood there gawking at each other
in bedazzled ecstasy.
We both could feel the Divine Hand of God
showering us with His astounding leelas.

We resumed our errands and made our
way back to my house. Rama, our
inquisitive cat greeted Ravi rubbing his
furry little head against his feet.
Ravi relaxed, settling down on the wine
red couch in our front room. We flicked on
the TV. Ravi stammered like an innocent child,
"I haven't watched television in years!" He looked
at me with a befuddled grin, "I still can't believe
this is all real."

The weekend flew by and soon Ravi
was standing at the Check-In counter of
the airport preparing to fly home to
Bangalore, India.
"Ravi," I said softly, "this morning I had
a dream with Sathya Sai Baba."

"Oh really?" Ravi said excitedly,
"Please tell me about it."
I related the dream to Ravi:
I was sitting at a table, I believe my husband
and another man was on my right.
Swami was seated across from me.
He had such a beatific, radiant countenance.
I gazed at our glorious Sai, love surging
through my heart.

An attendant came over and poured juice
into two glasses. I said,
"Please give this to that man first. The attendant
moved the two drinks over.
Swami looked at me with a very
happy expression on His holy face.

As I finished describing the dream,
I said to Ravi, "I think Swami was
letting us know He is pleased with the
service rendered to you."
What a wonderful blessing.

Ravi shoved a package of Pizza flavored
crackers into his Carry-on bag.
David and I watched as Ravi trekked
through the security line of the airport,
his eyes glistened with thankful tears.

We both snapped pictures with our
cell phones of our sweet friend and
blew kisses which he eagerly caught,
a pristine beginning, a magnificent ethereal
bridal bouquet glowing on the rose pink
threshold of an extraordinary new day.
A constellation of orchid blooms
with violet flame wings
and star white hearts
descended on my
bedroom altar this evening

This was part of a birthday gift
from my beloved hubby
the orchid is a symbol of perfection,
natural elegance, love and luck

Every time I gazed at the
auspicious, stunning flower
I lit up with smiles
it was so beautiful
and Swami's portrait
at the center of my sanctum,
indeed at the center of the universe,
also flashed a dazzling smile

What shall we call this beauty Swami?
Sitara....
Sitara you are so fortunate to have
the Darshan of
Bhagavan Sri Sathya Sai Baba
Mateuš Conrad Oct 2018
i remember a school friend of mine,
always the one to come up with obscure
facts, but not a lot of anecdotes
said to me...

   you know how the White Stripes
conjured up that quasi-bass
depth rhythm section
on the song Seven Nation Army
...

yeah... ****** plucked his guitar
into a bass amp...

              who would have guessed!
plus... (insert burp):
who would have thought that
Jack White wrote an anthem for...
(insert another burp)
    football and darts enthusiasts...
you write a song of that public
appeal... you should be dubbed
the next Mozart or somethin'...

i shouldn't really glorify my drinking,
i really shouldn't...
bad influence and all that jazz...

but...
  i have a terrible superstition within
the regards of my drinking...
i want to remember everything...
and i want to die:
watching death take me,
wide away, before my eyes...

and there was a crime,
but i'm paying the price with psychiatric
"treatment"...
i can tell you of the other witness
at that moment in 2007...
Prim for short, or rather Primajit....
****, i don't know his surname...
he drove the car ****** while going
to Canterbury...
almost met the three of us
with a traffic accent, the ****...

he's half Irish, and half Sikh...
and his family is into...
oh ****... the guru dead dead...
real dead...
his family was into... ha ha...
they even had their picture
of him... they were into Sathya Sai Baba...

now... as long as cults go...
i haven't met such respectable people
as the Bahá'í... lovely people...
wanted to come to one of their
gatherings, was, kindly denied...
apparently...

       i dated this Bahá'í chick once...
so **** **** time...
chose another girl who would
do the **** ****...
         god... when she found out
in front of her eyes...
the look on her face, those eyes...
oi! God! can i peer into Satan's?!
how was i supposed to know
we were, "dating"...
i fell asleep while we watched
a roman holiday starring Peck
and that pretty tight black dress
Tiffany girl...

    memorably we walked out
from a screening of a movie...
****... the banality of remembering certain
things...
  but that's the only time
i managed to walk out of a cinema,
because we both found a shared
conversation to be more fruitful
and, entertaining...

ah... van Morrison, Laura... brown eyes...
a lucky ******* as i ought
to be... sitting in McEwan hall...
glum like your atypical half-blonde
long haired beast...
    she picked me out to dance
a kaylee: although one,
with a missing tartan on my behalf...

well... so much for it...
now i have two "boyfriends" to keep me
company, whyte & mackay...
and all the time in the world
to do what i went to university for,
reading philosophy,
solitary confinement (or thereabouts)...
crazed on both music and
new music...

a sad little.... loner....

b'ah ah ha ha ha ha ha ha!

******* love it...
it's like it was spoken for me,
by that famous, butler, Alfred...
about the infamous Burma man...

let's face it,
no side it worth standing worth...
i'm the guy:
who just enjoys the world, burrrrrrn.
In the wide-open frontier
That I Am
a hint of vastness
embraces me
From a balcony in the heavens
Sai Avatar surveys
His luminous creation
Winged worlds
Spiraling galaxies
Timeless superluminal
light years
orbit His celestial finger

I gaze wonderstruck......
Swami's fathomless eyes
eclipse the dark night
a thousand suns rise in
every atom of my being

And the Earth turns....
Golden


"There is no force on earth that can delay for an instant the mission for which this Avatar has come. You are all sacred souls, and you will have your parts to play in the unfolding drama of the new Golden Age, which is coming."

Sri Sathya Sai Baba
Sanathana Sarathi, October 1996, back cover

— The End —