In the New Forest my Base had discovered
The Rites of Pannage those Back-Breakers do
Sows and their Cousins their Instinct recovered
Took a Year's Break from Storage and Stew
Which Proud Members chose Estovers on-edge
Then for Dessert from their Month's Turbary
A Better Concern than Motors bred at-stake,
A chance for their King to pay his Duty
So, my Conqueror, tell me that Ballad
Or must I force that Verderer to Sing
With Acorns, Truffles and all Nuts at-hand
Till he spits out the Seed which bore my Ring.
Tell you what. This Porker you just provide
I'll relish its Pudding and wear its Hide.

Byron wants me to invite all my friends on HP to a pig roast. Rest assured, when Byron has a pig roast fun is surely to be expected. Here's his invitation.

You're invited to my pig roast.

I told him he'd have to do better, that he's talking to a collection of rhymers, wordsmiths, and gesticulating anthropomorphics. He had no idea what the **** I just said, but he did do an edit.

Here's his edit.

You're Invited to My Pig Roast

Your toad on the road
Only squats, never stands,
Or sits 'til he splits
Between the treads of your van.

Your mouse in the house,
If it isn't found out,
Drops pellets in pots,
'Til snap, then it stops.

Your bird on the wire
Sweetly sings then lets fire;
And a cat in a hat
Is cute, but that's that.

Your horse from the stable
Won't be served from your table;
And the deer by the brook,
Well, too much the Bambi to cook.

Yes a bear in the wood
Indeed craps where it should;
He's best left alone
While your meat's on your bone.

Then there is the PIG.
A ruddy pink porker,
Intelligent and clean,
An innocuous oinker.
It does nothing that's heinous,
And yes, it should shame us,
As it lies silently smiling
With a spit up its ****.

Please bring your own lawnchair, *****,  and women.
The pig's on me.

valley mountains high,
cattle there to serve us,
rugged men are men,
sheep are very nervous,

megan's dentures in a jar,
pug face snoring porker,
drove llambo to his wellies,
the mountain mutton stalker.

valley commandos camouflage dress,
headband, wellies, wooly string vest,
llambo llewellyn up to the test,
heads for the hills searching his quest.

english may laugh,
and label us sinners,
while we **** sheep,
they eat them for dinners.

"Surreal skeptic, cynical cryptic! Licentious lecheries fabulist façade fantasias. Wild eyed spectral serene. Dream of catenary concoctions, ethereal salacious conjugation, bridge the gap in metaphysical mystique. Erotica erectile errantry’s exserted protuberance is a kinesiology kleptomaniac with his embark embargo extraditions and his eventuation evocative execrations, a positive amalgamated anathema android of a terminus thrall. The shadow in the shade of the silhouette sojourn. The bailiff’s rakeness rails incarnate, unicorn railway nails and all. He will paint mirador bartizan panorama tableaus all over your proximity parameter perimeter peripherals. Force the enmity to acquiesce into impunity.” “Why this is not but an ogling ogre of an oligarchy omelet” she shrieked as he continued to tickle her. “Down here at the bizarre bazaar we all believe in the blasphemous farcical fugueness,” he said. “Positive orchestration renditions of transpositional interlude.” “Come here,” she said “let my clambering clamorous clangor write you a wield wile treatise expose’.  The legions of Chinga da are battling the hoards of Gunga din saying", "kinetic supremacy temporize tractive fluent" , "it’s sheer genocide. That plasty goop nosed porker of a Gumby ******* ***** monger Gunga doesn’t stand a chance. Coax cacophony clout, catatonic phonics, grizzly grotto grouches all”, She squealed. “Now you’re gumption dreaming”, he chimed. “Chutzpah panache spontaneous generation complicity, gambit alluvium aloof succor.”

I thought I was doing so well
and lost so much weight
and hell I felt pretty
and I put on that dress
that ugly blue dress
and I thought I looked okay
and was proud to look okay
in that ugly blue sparkly dress,
but then she took pictures
and showed me the result
and I nearly broke down crying at the horrific sight.
Hiding my tears, I finally realized
no amount of dolling up
and no amount of weight loss
is going to make me pretty.
I'm ******* ugly
and a nasty little swine
a fat porker pig
a mole on the earth's pretty face
coal that can't become a diamond
a face to make goblins laugh
I'm ******* ugly
and that's all I'll ever be.

Tending a field of sinsemilla
With a bluebird cardinal chorus
A happ- happy guitar picking sun
above us  
A singing stream ,
Mr. Porker in his overalls ,
Mr. Goat in his denim jeans
A blue heron at the well
Whistling Sunflowers covering the Port dale
Purple bud in a basket , cool earth
'neath bare feet , Randy Rooster working
the hashish , chickadees crooning in the
tickled trees* ...

The Entire Egyptian Military laid down ( there's that word lay laid) their arms of weapons designed for war, when the opposing armies, had revealed they had strapped Living Cats to their shields.

Why, you wonder? Well the Cat is one mighty fine refined focal point, hell even its waste is refined and a rarity in quality of Ammonia and is closest to the Pig um, and Humans, and Pig is for only one rather jacked up reason, and the biggest reason you might want to no longer consume Pork, um, did you know that before the flood, that wiped out the entire map, with its dark wters and buildings, rocks, wait.. lets try this... see it is not the water that kills and destroys the coastline by wave or hurricane, it is the debris of all that is previously knocked into absolute helpless submission by the water of loving rage and passion. see imagine the entire map, being in a washing machine for oh, lets say 30, no no, oh hell lets call it at 40 days. and with all that debris, cars, trucks, trains, um people, roofing wood, beams, what.. im sorry, what was that? what do I mean cars trucks, trains? um, well we didnt abuse the oil as we do now, remember do not harm the oil or the wine? but we abused other elements and resonations, and had oh , far more than we do now, well, I say that in the understanding of the average bear. cause we have it all jack, yep most the vaults have been found and are now fully, well for the most part reverse engineered, um once time , and vibration, speed and stable speed of, vibe, ummm. yeah, never mind, we had some cool **** you cant even begin to imagine, and we had genetic manipulations too, and you know how it is when we have done it all, we keep going, and so we get the platypus, um and even the half human genome pig. not boar, not Hog Pig hair less pink porker pig, jack, yep, human genome. so stop eating of it. and if you think that not a good enough reason, research the worms that live beyond 800 degrees 12 hours in the meat of the flesh of the beast. and you for life. and yes I didn't know and eat and found out by seeking and stopped. oh and research the glands in their legs that excrete.

Pete and Pauline Porker
Speaking through their snorkles
Double-chinned, wet-lipped
Checking out Facebook fibs
Snarled, yellow,
Tinted-teeth
Buys fudgie-bars
And potpourri
Their greasy-mouths
Spew forth and give
Fountain sodas
of commercial spit.