There are conversations in which my mental frame leaves the
                               parameters of my body.

No longer can I fathom the concept of ‘being in love’
        I witness dates
        and
        feel as an apprentice of such a trade might
        an inadequacy to replicate the models of those before me

Gone are my indefinite moments of sanity
        Childhood is laced in linens of silk
        Soft-spoken words
        and
        Finely crafted spontaneity lacking responsibility

Ceaseless are the times in which I must conceal the thoughts I abhor
        Depravity seems to chain my soul
        which leads to
        a Resolution in pixelation
        due to
       a visual handicap which has left my eye blind to choosing right

My friends make me happy
        but as a glass transforms back-&-forth between half-empty &
        half-full
        one glance across our wooden dinner is all it takes
        for
My thoughts to liquidate into bars of gold
Telling myself I must exchange their conversation for my motivation
        heavy on the mind
        light keystrokes

Once i reawaken at 1 A.M. from my conscious-coma
i ask myself
What good is it?
        To be thoughtful
        Yet have no action
What good is it?
        To fantasize
        Yet refuse your own inclination for renovation
What good is it?
        To be dramatic
        Yet have no one at your performance

I do understand what it means to ‘be’

        Watching Tuesday suns burn in loops of ongoing weeks
                              -    lacking peaks    -
        As I continue to lay under clothes line
        Wrapped in a melody of melancholy

But I do not understand what it means to be ‘me’

        My mind feels as a lemon candy might,
        sour at first bite -
        hollow on the inside, then gone
        Without ever truly knowing what it tastes like.

Bite size thoughts, cut from the cloth i use for warmth.

Tossed from turrets of my tattered form, pooling for a storm of will, upon the dull winds winding down to a crawl in distilled feelings felt in a movie once.

I touch the pixelation, running my fingers along the edges, until something catches, i will muster what is fathomed in an artist mocking an artist, inspired by a great mind we murdered once.

My desires are expiring in overdoses, where mastery approaches but heaves mystery and magic until gone.

I will just leave, and move on to the next one, in fun-less filtering for the core of every value, incrementing my attributes, and I'm gone.

Another zero, another one, another catastrophe, another song, that ill ignore.

I hear you whimpering, and its adorable.

“You’re a relic,” said the video game,
“no one reads you now.”
“Not true” said the novel. “And anyhow,
at least I have characters
who speak and think and feel.
No one could believe that your
“characters” are real.”
“I offer blood and action; an opportunity
to ****. We know that’s what the people want.
It’s a pressing need I fill,”
the video game replied.
“What makes you think your wars and crimes
played out in pixelation
will satisfy the players’ lust
for quick assassination? They will tire
of virtual gore and want to test their skills
in a real arena that offers far more thrills.”
The novel’s pages fluttered; she indignantly continued:
“In my world there’s ambiguity; it forces them to think
about how there’s no black and white,
except for pages and for ink.
My stories stir compassion,
reflection, empathy. Your crooks and soldiers all act the same;
where’s their personality?
You know you’re just a pinball game
dressed up as a cartoon.”
The video game tried to think
of how to answer back... But soon
it realized that she was right. And sadly thought about the terror
that it had wreaked from coast to coast
and how it was a grievous error.
It filled the bathtub up with water
and dropped itself straight in. And that, my friends, is where
this little story should begin.

The old days, the old ways, those are in the winds of been;
with all the worries
worth worrying lost with the reasons why

today was to have been
impossible.

Self-evident, right, the prophets were right and
the liars
are with us, as sure as the poor.

Today, we live and die, planning to do it again,
after a nap, making clear

this peace past understanding, so you can see
through it to the

glimpse of a happiness you know, it's right, no evil
dripping acidic
lies
into hopes, we held locked in catechismical caves.

So long ago. The old days were not good.
Only the stories with happy ever after this
----

You see it done, old son, you take the role.
No missed takes, no second guess,
single-mind me, my self, I say may the game begin

en joy, they say, as if verbishment en into en trance
muted
nothing to this, in our own life's history,
verified, examined and, be hold,

not found wanting anything. Off the scale,
onto the state or stage of becoming,

not there, not here, be
coming
soon, always soon, soon, now

big bang, right. be

hell, you lie, and you know it, but why?
Liars prosper.
That's the key, if you give a buck. I'm a pro,

you don't get where reality is this slippery and
threatening,
guided by me, y'follow? you don't get here, and blame me.

Blame me, shame me, oughta take rope,
'n' hang me.

What if, still, in effect. Reality at gut level, synaptic axion dents, right,
waves of peristalsis moving shichewswallowed,

minus that action,
you are dead,

but your biome, the raw info, ideas that moved you, through the years,
we adapt, we modify our center of gravity,

we ellipsilate our sphere of influence into

fratical fractal real ification practices prospering in 2019.

Nonshite. Dear reader, we must pause, please, hold this thought...

The cultivator must be first, no lie. Seedtime gap harvest. Eat me.

sign on the bottle,
it was a clue, don't you want somebody to love?
You better,
find somebody to love, oh yeah, that left a mark. Funny,

It's okeh to smile, I said to Imogene Coca.
She stared into my eye, no Bette Davis eye,

Imogene Coca eye, no smile, no word mime meme bent
to a pixelation
degree, you pretend to see, AI can see the thread
you trust the legend,

scarlet thread or golden?
Which do we cut?

She is silent

May I …
May I take you out over a candle lit evening
Where the look in your eyes burn hotter than the flame its self
May I kiss you over so gently and tell you there is no worry in the world our willingness cannot over come
When the sun may set and our eyes reset
You will be my last 64 bit pixelation stored in my memory net
For May I love you all year round
My arms around you I have wound
For take a cigarette and weld it in my arm
Let the heat ignite my firearm
For May I love you all year round
Memories with you burned in can never be drowned

an entourage of black & white monsters
rabidly collapse--on a mall's glassy floor.
itching away at pixelation, retaining the
right to crudity.
the mall's scent marketing spreads its
delicious mist around yellow hazard signs,
methodically placed around hinterland's
embattled fringe.
the horror vacui of a mall, full stop.
the Art Brut of the disciple that got away,
having escaped from a ****'s forth crow, or
Judas' Romanesque royalties.
the unnoticed figure that whistles apart the
mall's glass ceiling, rubs his eyes to reveal
St. John of Patmos ******* out the soupy eyes
of lambs.
shaking free an extra large fountain soda from
Christ's right hand--dissolved by flavor.
denominational puddles rising from the mall's
glassy floor, as Christ hacks up demonic roars
as he's assailed by children.
whose parents wander off to ***** a voluptuousness
that sheds their hands, all over the place.
a pendulously oversexed wash of half-baked
******, as if a feather could be roused from an
indeterminate wing.
the adjourned high courts of dream.