A shield, seemingly impenetrable
of mind games, of
false safety.
Struck once, and fallen.
For this, all these years?
Make a wall to break it?

Except LHS is not equal to RHS here;
Cos the wall has broken what was growing on it.

'Push yourself up' - they say.
On what?
What was built upon a fallacy is now in crumbles.
'That was real' - you cry:
Who hears?

Left with a mess.
'Left with a test;
For your strengths'
Or for your courage?

Will that collapse too?
If it is false.

Who's the judge? - you demand.
Who knows?
The doubt lies. The judge stays veiled. Your courage is burning.

But wait! is that a phoenix coming through?

Jan 20, 2009
Today I am starting a journal for Tony and his grandfather (me).  We replaced a right head lamp in the LHS this afternoon.  Tony held the socket wrench after I removed the assembly and replaced the bulb. He found a bolt on the left side on which the wrench fit.  When the assembly was in place, Tony got to run the wrench and tighten the bolts.  He came in and said, “I fixed your head light Nennie.” Nennie is his aunt and since she drives the car a lot, the car must be her’s.  He was so proud he could help.  He listened well and followed instruction very well. He got in the drivers seat and turned on the lights. Shifted from lower to upper beam… many times.  It worked!   Did it take longer to get the job done? Yes but the rewards will last for a very long time.

It looks like I have not done very well in keeping up this “journal”.

July 2009.
I was tired this day and my grandson (4) talked me into sitting on the swing while he played in his dirt pile. Dirt is like gold to him. After a while he said, “Grandpa. Can we go to the park today?” I told him I would think about it. A few minutes later he asked, “Have you thought about it Grandpa?” I answered, “Not yet.” His reply was, “Let me do the thinking for you Grandpa.” At this time he put his hand on his face, got a little concerned look and muttered “think,,, think.” Then he said, “I have thought about it Grandpa and we are going to the park.” I got up from the swing and went in and told his Grandma what he said. Then we went to the park.

Some time earlier in the year we went to Arctic Circle, one of our usual places to eat and play. There were a couple of ladies sitting at the table next to us and Tony recognized one of them from the play group. After a time I noticed one little girl had stripped off her top clothing. I was talking to the mother next to me when I saw this. I said to her, “Tony is going to go home and tell his Grandmother that I took him to a ******* restaurant.”