Depersonalization: - (from Cambridge Dictionary) “experiencing events as if you were a third party observer, disconnected from your body or feelings”.
- (from Dictionary.com) 1. the act of depersonalizing; 2. the state of being depersonalized; 3. Psychiatry. a state in which one no longer perceives the reality of one's self or one's environment.
- (from lived experience)
1. A feeling turned sentiment, spontaneity that lasts too long, way too long, way too little; a moment stolen from the hustle and bustle, the conversations of others and mine; taken and returned like an eraser during a test; given and returned in perfect condition, unless the eraser’s yours, in which case you know this to be untrue: Fundamental change occurred, nothing really changed, nothing’s really different; You know this and yet you can’t go back, it’s impossible; Time isn’t linear, but it is and someone dirtied your timeline. Why are your hands *****?
2. A lost key, item, bauble, thing, it doesn’t matter; Held in your hand one moment, leaving you the next; did it leave of its own accord? Did it take up the road and walk away? Was it you?Without it, you can’t enter home and yet you enter home and it is your home, clinically yours, truthfully stranger: You lost your way home, you’ve known it since birth, since speech, since thought and yet you left and there is no way home: You are not lost.
3. Being lost, being unaware, you are lost; there is no body to hold you, ground you; You stole your costume, it knows you stole it, it won’t let you go: prisoner, thief, vagabond; You are so lost that you forgot: you’re not you, there is no you, there never has been, why would there be? You would be able to find yourself within the faces of others, the bodies of others, the existence of others; but there is no you, so you cannot, must not exist in their eyes, their nose, their teeth and bones, oh! boneless wanderer, there is no you among them.
4. Alienation from others, alienation from myself- An Exercise In Description.