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Kin
A cascade of raindrops pattered on the tile rooftop that adorned a drab house, the soft yet pronounced sound diverting all thought to it's presence. The lone occupant, a young man of twenty-one years old, stared blankly at the marks on his arms. Some still bled, while others had scarred into permanence long ago. The marks looked like elegant gibberish, but to his trained eye, told a haunting tale. The razor edged blade that had etched this tale lay on the table in front of him, thoroughly coated in his blood. He never felt the bite of the knife, nor the weakness in his legs as the blood left his body. He only felt the desire to be rid of the voices. The horrid voices.
The only way he had found to quiet them was to inscribe their bantering into his flesh. His hands drifted towards his throat, where a long ragged scar lay raised around his neck. He should be dead.
He had wanted to die.
He had tried to die.
But he couldn't.
The voices wouldn't let him.
His name was.... He had forgotten. He blinked confusedly for a moment. He knew it was here somewhere. He glanced at the wall and he could see it, carved into the sheetrock a thousand times. He had trouble focusing on it, his eyes twitching violently as he tried to hold onto a thread of his former self. He shut his eyes tight. He took a deep breath, feeling the icy bite in his lungs as he did. He focused on the cold and pushed the voices back into submission, if only for a moment. He opened his eyes and focused on one single name.
Adrian.
His name was Adrian.
For the first time in a long time, Adrian felt his heart beating. He started shaking. His heart beat faster and harder, almost painfully so.
The voices were breaking through again. Their cacophony of shouts was deafening.
Adrian couldn't hold them back. He had to let them free.
His heart stilled once more and he felt his consciousness fade as thousands of claws swallowed his psyche again.
He stood, following an almost robotic motion. He stepped towards the open window.
No. It wasn't open. It was broken. Blood had caked over the jagged edges. The rain was pouring in. Though by the look of the floor, it had rained through the window for quite some time. The floor sagged under the window, threatening to send Adrian through to the lower floor.

Adrian slowly reached a hand through the window, letting the rain rinse the blood from his arms. He could feel the dull ache as the jagged cuts continued to pulsate blood to the surface. He shut his eyes and leaned forward, ignoring the groaning wood beneath him. His eyes shot open as he felt the floor shift beneath him.
One voice screamed louder than the others, "MOVE ******!"
Adrian panicked and tried to step back, but it was too late. The rotten floor fell out from under him. As he fell, his forearm raked across the shattered glass in the window, one large shard piercing all the way through his arm. He hung there as the shard suspended him in place, screaming as he felt the razor edges tearing clean through his flesh. His vision went completely black for a moment as he faded in and out of consciousness. The screaming voices thundered in his ears and he felt tears streaming down his cheeks. The pain was unbelievable.
Just as he thought he might pass out from the pain, the shard snapped, leaving him to fall to the lower story. He landed on a splintered beam, the impact hard enough to break his wrist as he tried to break his fall. He collapsed, defeated. The voices demanded him to stand, but he ignored them. Adrian lay there, broken, bleeding, wishing more than ever for death to overtake him. He knew he should be dead. He could feel the long sliver of the splintered beam passing straight through his heart, yet he couldn't die.
He cried.
He just wanted this to be over.
Please.
He just wanted to die.
Adrian forced himself to stand, pushing against the beam. He cried out in agony as the shard piercing through his arm and the stake embedded in his chest both cut deeper.
Feeling weakness overtaking him, he took hold of the pane glass shard in his arm, yanking it out swiftly. A spray of blood spewed from his arm before quickly subsiding. He watched in panicked horror as his flesh began to knit itself back together. "No no no just **** me!!!"
He started to hyperventilate as he took hold of the stake with both hands and slowly pulled, feeling smaller splinters digging into his skin. His face contorted into an agonized grimace, letting out a pained gasp as the wood was freed from his chest. He threw the stake away from him, shaking violently.
His clutched his head in his hands as he fell to his knees. When would it end? How much longer would he have to endure?
The voices were quiet. Adrian looked around, still shaking, and realized where he was.
The lower floor.
He shouldn't be here.
The voices said to stay away.
The smell.
How long had these bodies been here?
Adrian stood slowly, seeing with newfound horror where he was. This was evil.  The grotesque, contorted bodies lay scattered haphazardly across the whole floor. Their decomposing flesh had attracted hordes of flies and other carrion creatures.
Adrian threw up.
It was too much.
Had he killed all of these people?
There must have been thirty.
Maybe more.
The taste of ***** brought him back to his senses and he quickly looked for an exit. This was the ground floor, there had to be a door.
He looked around, seeing nothing but the tormented faces of the deceased around him.
Wait.
No. Directly behind him.
It was just barely there.
A void in the corpses.
He sprinted to the opening. The voices told him to stop.
Adrian pushed them aside, focusing on escaping this hell. As he broke through the void, he felt a rush of cold air and he blinked. He was looking at a brick wall, but it wasn't from the building he had been stuck in. No this was... An alley.
Adrian looked behind him, expecting to see the corpse room, but to his surprise, there was nothing. Just another brick wall.
Free.
Finally free.
He hoped.
He sat against the wall and wept, both for joy and in fear.
What would happen to him now?
----------





Thunder shook the windows of a lone white sedan as it puttered to a halt at the side of the road. The sky was black over northern Washington, and the shadows beneath the towering pines cast a forbidding darkness in  all directions. The heaviest rain of the storm had just begun, and the wind rocked the car back and forth like a boat in a hurricane. Each drop of ice cold rain was like a bullet against the car.
Black smoke billowed from under the hood as the car met it's final resting place. From the back seat came a low groan of distress. "Stupid... *******..."
Lilya grimaced as she spoke. She was clutching her chest, covered in a blood soaked blouse. "This was... my favorite shirt..."
Lilya's sapphire eyes were shimmering with tears as she glanced out the window. "I guess we won't be making it to that doctor, huh?"
She was laying across the back seat, her head in the lap of her best friend, Soryn. He was stroking Lilya's raven hair, his fingers trembling. "We'll get there, Lil. It's not far."
Soryn's green eyes met hers and she gripped his hand. Her touch was ice cold. She pushed a lock of his blonde hair out of his face and whispered, "You're... A terrible liar, Ryn. Always were."
The front passenger door opened and Malyk stepped out into the freezing rain. His trimmed black hair was instantly soaked, along with his shirt and jeans. Malyk shivered and opened the hood, letting even more smoke rise into the air. He coughed violently as the stench of melting plastic and warped metal stabbed his lungs and mouth. He slammed the hood shut angrily, returning to his seat and closing the door.
Soryn's looked to him, but Malyk simply shook his head. They turned to see Ruby, the driver, gripping the steering wheel hard, her knuckles turning white.
"This is all my fault." Ruby's voice was shaky, as if she were about to cry. She looked at her bloodied hands and she couldn't hold it back anymore. "IT'S ALL MY FAULT!!" Thunder rocked the car again as she screamed, her firey red hair shaking with her body.
Tears streamed from Ruby's yellow eyes, pattering against her skirt. Malyk put a comforting hand on her shoulder, "You couldn't have known. Stop blaming yourself."
Lilya's breath had become more ragged and her skin was beginning to pale. Soryn whimpered, "We need to find help. Now."
Malyk nodded and his eyes snapped to the rear view mirror, where a glimpse of light shine in the darkness.
"Another car! We have a ride." Malyk scrambled out of the car, tossing his wet shirt to the floor board.
Soryn's eyes widened, "No no no, Malyk don't do what I think you're-...."
He was answered by screeching tires and the shrill screams of the other car's driver. Soryn and Ruby looked out into the darkness but could see no trace of Malyk, only the headlights of the vehicle behind them. Suddenly, Soryn's door opened and a shadowy hand gripped Lilya's, pulling her out of the car gently.
A raspy voice echoed, "Let's not waste time. Come on!" The shadowy figure ran to the stopped vehicle. There was a large blood spatter across its hood. Soryn and Ruby were close behind, being pelted by the icy rain as they ran. Soryn slid into the back seat, and the shadow figure laid Lilya across his lap. Soryn glanced at him, "You shouldn't have used your powers. It's dangerous."
Malyk growled, his face lit by a flash of lightning. A nasty row of fangs were accented by the brief fash, along with a pair of curling horns. His skin was shrouded in armored scales, splashed with blood and smoke. Malyk's forked tongue danced between his fangs as he spoke, "Losing her is even more dangerous. I'd say it's worth the risk."
Ruby revved the engine, "Hurry the **** up!"
Malyk ran to the passenger door, his beastly features already fading away. As soon as the door locked, Ruby floored the gas pedal, squealing the tires as she drove off.
The trees began racing by at breakneck speed, their destination still miles away. Soryn ran his fingers over Lilya's wound and she whimpered, biting back tears.
Soryn frowned, "The cut is really deep, and the infection is already setting in."
Malyk glanced at Ruby, who kept the pedal to the floor. "Two minutes, Soryn."
Lilya coughed, spraying her clothes and Soryn's cheek with more blood. "She may not have two minutes, Malyk."
Lilya smiled and whispered, "You worry too much, Ryn." She reached up to him and forced him to look at her, her eyes now a dim shadow of their former beauty.  "Soryn. I need you to promise me something."
Soryn shook his head, "No. None of this promise ****. You're making it through this."
She shut her eyes and ignored him, "If I don't, I want you to sacrifice me. Free yourselves."
Soryn gripped her hand tight. "No. You're going to make it. I won't let you die."
Ruby gripped the steering wheel tight, "Hold on!" She whipped the wheel around to the right, swinging the car wide down a muddy path. Soryn protected Lilya's as the car bucked and swerved.
Malyk swore as he hit his head on the door. "****, Ruby!"
Ruby snarled and ignored him, speeding down the driveway, blaring her horn as she saw a house atop a wooded hill. "There it is! The doctor should be inside."
The lights in the house came on as the commotion was heard. Ruby slammed on the brakes and brought the car skidding to a halt at the front door. Soryn lifted Lilya effortlessly, cradling her like a child. Lilya weakly clung to Soryn's shirt, panting softly. She looked absentmindedly at the house, laughing softly. "This place... I remember this place."
Lilya's body began to shake as she fought for control of her own mind. Her eyes dilated and the whites of her eyes turned a deep onyx color. "**** me... Please **** me... Don't let it out."
Her body was ice cold against Soryn's and he started to panic. She closed her eyes and he could see her reeling from an unseen battle raging in her mind.
Soryn walked up the creaking wooden steps and onto the covered porch. The door swung open and Soryn was greeted by a gun barrel swinging up towards his head. He flinched but held his ground. The gun wielder was a young woman, in her late twenties, clad only in her silk robe. She had the eyes of someone without fear. Soryn cleared his throat, "We need help. Our friend..."
He glanced down at Lilya, who was barely holding on to him. "Our friend is dying."
The woman glanced at Lilya, a spark of recognition in her eyes. She lowered her gun to her side and gestured for Soryn to bring Lilya inside. Malyk and Ruby remained outside out of respect for the stranger's privacy. Ruby sat next to the door while Malyk paced back and forth along the porch.
The decor inside was quaint, but the furnishings had a modern functionality, like two worlds lived in this one house. Soryn had no time to admire the scene as he clutched the seemingly lifeless form of his friend. The woman walked to the basement door, flipping the light switch to the dark stairway. The tungsten lights buzzed to life, casting a blinding glare on everything. Soryn  blinked and let his eyes adjust before continuing  down the flight of stairs. The cold stone bit into his heels, but he couldn't worry about that. Soryn followed the silk-clad woman down to a large room that looked extremely out of place, like it should have been in a  hospital instead of a basement. Once inside, Soryn saw a polished operating table and surgical tools beneath a bright dome light. Soryn swallowed hard and lay Lilya on the table gently. The woman tied her blonde hair back in a ponytail and shrugged her shoulders, letting her robe fall to the floor. Soryn's heart skipped a beat as he looked at her exposed form. Her body was supple and each curve was exquisitely defined, with symmetrical tattoos like tiger stripes on either side of her stomach, legs, and arms.
Something about her confidence and finesse intrigued him. She was the kind of girl that most men would **** to have one night with.
Then it dawned on him. She looked exactly like Lilya. He could feel his cheeks flush at the thought of them. The woman glanced at him and he looked down at the table, flushing completely. She smirked, "If you want to stare at my **** go ahead. If I wasn't okay with it I wouldn't have you down here."
Soryn cleared his throat, his gaze automatically drifting towards her chest before he shook himself. "Sorry, doc. It's just, you remind me of someone else."
He thought he could hear her mutter, "I wonder who."
Whatever insecurity she had was hidden, as she went straight to work on Lilya. Soryn stood at one side of the table, while the woman stood on the other.
Her hands moved swiftly, expertly, focused on mending the dying girl. The woman's hand slid under the table, only  to return with a pair of surgical shears. Starting at the collar of the blouse, the doctor began cutting away. Soon the fabric fell away, followed by Lilya's bra, shorts and *******.
Lilya's clothes were now non-existent, and Soryn blushed as he looked at his naked friend, feeling an all too familiar urge. How many times had he wished to caress her most intimate parts, to feel her warm cleft around him.
Lilya's body was covered in serpentine tattoos, the ink scales winding over her limbs and torso. Soryn's favorite part was a scaly tail that wrapped around her leg. Oh how he had longed to trace the tail up to it's base.
His mind drifted to his fantasies of making love to her and his heart started racing. He bit his tongue. No. Now was not the time to be ogling her. He berated himself for being so selfish. She was near death and all he could think of in the moment was how he wanted to **** her.
The doctor broke the silence with two accusatory words, "What happened?"
Soryn's heart sank, "Lilya and Ruby were looking for someone, and when they tried to sum-..." He trailed off, suddenly feeling more naked than she was. How did he know he could trust her? Ruby obviously knew about her but not much.
The woman rolled her eyes. Her voice was sultry, airy even, as she retorted, "Yes, she tried to summon a Seeker. What happened?"
Soryn's mouth moved to form words, but he couldn't force them out. This doctor knew of his kind. Well enough to know that Lilya was a Bound Soul.
The woman slammed a fist into the table, jarring him, "Spit it out, ******, I need to know so I don't e
“Welcome,” the Devil said, smiling.

An unclothed man of pale skin and toned muscles stood feet away from a teenage boy with black, ashy, hair. The boy was wearing a simple outfit; white linen with black buttons, dark pants. Confidently, the boy stepped forward. Inches shorter than the still heavily breathing man, he put his hand on the strong shoulder and looked up into dark, untrusting eyes.

Hell wasn’t anything like Adrian thought it would be. He didn’t doubt it though, this was Hell alright. Whiteness was everywhere, almost blindingly bright. Exhausted from the fight, the shock of getting hit, the running and tumbling, he breathed loudly through his nose. His body was as it was on Earth. His scars, sweat and blood were all identical to how it was in the fight only minutes ago. There was a gaping hole about the width of his extended hand through his chest; his heart was mangled and torn but somehow still pumping.

“You died, Adrian. And God doesn’t care. He’s never cared.

“You probably think that your life on Earth was righteous enough to make it to Heaven, to meet God. And you’re right, really, you lived well. Your final moments alone should be enough to give you an ivory throne, but no. Nobody gets into Heaven.

“I’m sorry, Adrian.”

The Devil slid his hand down, off of Adrian’s shoulder and turned around. The fatigued in and out of the fighter’s breath was the only sound in the air.

“I’m feeling generous today,” Adrian could feel a cool gust of wind behind him. The boyish Devil walked forward and placed his hand onto the man’s chest. Slowly, he could feel the hole filling up; a numbing warmth filled his rib cage, a new vitality. “Have a good life, Adrian. Enjoy your gift.”

The Devil shoved Adrian backwards. He gasped.
Grace  May 2016
Meetings
Grace May 2016
i.

I think meetings are like satsumas;
the skin
can peel
off in
tiny pieces,
your fingers will get covered in the juice
and you can spend hours picking off the white stringy bits
and then the fruit will taste sweet and it will be all worth it.

Or it peels off in one easy motion and it’s all full of pips or it’s dry or it’s bitter and that’s like meetings.

Meetings are strange because they can go on forever or they can be over in a minute.

Some people you meet everyday.
Others you meet once and never see them again.
My parents had the second type of meeting.
They met at a bus stop and my mother complained about the weather and my father agreed it was too hot and then he gave her his number and then she called him.
He became her window cleaner.
He moved in.
They lived in the same house.
They never saw each other.

Everything was terrible.
They never met again.
They drew up different lists:
Frankie, Rae, Teagan.
Genevieve, Emily, Jessica.
Somehow it became something else that neither particularly liked and the outside world didn’t much like it either. They locked the doors and I watched from the window.

Why don’t you go out? Don’t go out.

Everything was terrible.
Mother saw it on the TV.
Father saw it through other people’s windows.
But I can seem never break the peel.
It doesn’t come off in one easy motion
and it doesn’t come off in pieces.
It doesn’t come off at all.

But I am the girl from the cobweb;
I am the spider who stopped catching flies.
From the smell of gravy and soapy water to the kebabs and urban fox.

Meetings. Where do I begin?

ii.

Adrian Wren was wondering how many leg bones
it would take to build a wall around his house,
or rather round his old house.
The bones would have to go around the neighbour’s houses too
so he supposed it would take quite a lot of bones to go round all the houses.

He was writing an article about a murderer who kept the leg bones of his victims.
This was not a crucial element.
It was supposed to be about the murderer’s childhood,
in which the murderer was the victim.
The childhood did not answer the question: why leg bones of the victims?
The bones were building up in his head.
How would you glue bones together?
Adrian began typing;
the isolation and loneliness of being a middle child, the least favourite son.
The problem with being the victim.

It was actually kind of funny, when he thought about it.
Why a leg bone? Why not something smaller, that could be hidden?

Adrian wondered if the girl in the red boots thought about things like that. The girl who had knocked on the door of the too small flat to use his shower and borrow a cup.

Her shower,
she said,
kind
        of
            just
                   dripped.

iii.

Sometimes, I tell lies. Or not quite lies. Half truths. For example:
• These shoes belonged to a dead woman.
• Sea cucumbers can use their internal organs as a defence  mechanism.
• My cousin nearly died whilst attempting to eat a match.

I just want to tell something to someone but I don’t always have the real story, so I tell a not quite story. Or ask a not quite question. For example:
• What would life be like if humans had shells?
• Do we have shells?
• What do people living on mountains do with their faeces?

Right now, I’m looking at the flecks on the carpet, trying to find faces. Once, there was a house built above a graveyard and faces appeared on the floor. I wish there were faces on this floor. I wish I lived above a graveyard.

I live on the ground floor, above the bins. It’s interesting to watch what people have to put in the bins.

If only you’d concentrate on something important as much as you concentrate on that window.

But here’s the man from four floors away, putting his ******* in the bin. His clothes frown, his hair frowns, his whole being frowns. Frowns are like creases ironed into clothes, but who is the iron, what are the clothes?


*iv.


Adrian Wren was still trying to solve the riddle.
Most people thought they gave cryptic clues
about themselves but they were actually
just the conventional ones reworded.
This was a real riddle.
It was about her and it wasn’t about her.
It began with a J and ended with an I.
Anything could fit in between.

Jaci? Jessi?

She had a habit of appearing,
maybe at the bottom of the stairs.
Adrian was somehow angry at her,
just for being there,
sitting on the stairs,
picking a spider out of her hair,
walking out then coming back in as
if to test she really knew the code.
He was trying to write up an argument about people
on benefits but the space bar
keptgettingstuckandthewordsgotclumpedtogetherintonewwordsthat­noonehadanysuggestionsfor.

Jenni? Jodi? Juli?

Sometimes, he was certain she was trying to steal something.
Other times, she was one of those strange specimens
who attached themselves to another, because of an accidental look.
Mostly, she was just the girl in the boots without a name.

Jerri? Josi? Jani?*

Adrian found that the riddle hung
                                                             on
                                                             the edge
                                                              of­ the mind,
an itch which wasn’t really too itchy.

There were other things to worry about:
• Work
• Old things reopening
• Work
• Ignoring the phone
• Work
• A knocking at the door.
• Do you mind, if I come in – it’s just there’s this programme on telly and-

v.

Just tell me your name. He didn’t want to play this game.
Only, it was addictive, now he’d got started.
Now, it was a matter of having to know.
I gave you all the clues I’m giving, she grinned.


Joni,
Adrian said finally,
looking back at the screen
of his laptop.

vi.

Joni-Rae.
It was hyphenated because they couldn’t decide,
because they never really met.

Sometimes, people will call me Joan if they hate nicknames and Johnny if they can’t pronounce it.

Joni-Rae, but actually only ever Joni.
Begins with a J and ends in an I.
Does that still count, if I amputated part of it?
His middle name was nearly Ray too.
Adrian Ray Wren. Too many Rs.

I’m still looking for my middle name though. Does it mean I’m missing a bit of my meaning? Is there a bit of me I haven’t met just yet? Can we meet ourselves or only other people?
Thanks if you made it to the end. This was part of a writing exercise to change the form of a piece. I changed a piece of prose into a kind of poetry prosey thing.
Mike Essig Apr 2015
Elegy for the Forgotten Oldsmobile**

July 4th and all is Hell.
Outside my shuttered breath the streets bubble
with flame-loined kids in designer jeans
looking for people to **** or razor.
A madman covered with running sores
is on the street corner singing:
O beautiful for spacious skies…
This landscape is far too convenient
to be either real or metaphor.
In an alley behind a 7-11
a Black **** dressed in Harris tweed
preaches fidelity to two pimply ******
whose skin is white though they aren’t quite.
And crosstown in the sane precincts
of Brown University where I added rage
to Cliff Notes and got two degrees
bearded scientists are stringing words
outside the language inside the guts of atoms
and I don’t know why I’ve come back to visit.

O Uncle Adrian! I’m in the reservation of my mind.
Chicken bones in a cardboard casket
meditate upon the linoleum floor.
Outside my flophouse door stewed
and sinister winos snore in a tragic chorus.

The snowstorm t.v. in the lobby’s their mother.
Outside my window on the jumper’s ledge
ice wraiths shiver and coat my last cans of Bud
though this is summer I don’t know why or where
the souls of Indian sinners fly.
Uncle Adrian, you died last week—cirrhosis.
I still have the photo of you in your Lovelock
letterman’s jacket—two white girls on your arms—
first team All-State halfback in ’45, ’46.

But nothing is static. I am in the reservation of
my mind. Embarrassed moths unravel my shorts
thread by thread asserting insectival lust.
I’m a naked locoweed in a city scene.
What are my options? Why am I back in this city?
When I sing of the American night my lungs billow
Camels astride hacking appeals for cessation.
My mother’s zippo inscribed: “Stewart Indian School—1941”
explodes in my hand in elegy to Dresden Antietam
and Wounded Knee and finally I have come to see
this mad *** nation is dying.
Our ancestors’ murderer is finally dying and I guess
I should be happy and dance with the spirit or project
my regret to my long-lost high school honey
but history has carried me to a place
where she has a daughter older than we were
when we first shared flesh.

She is the one who could not marry me
because of the dark-skin ways in my blood.
Love like that needs no elegy but because
of the baked-***** possibility of the flame lakes of Hell
I will give one last supper and sacrament
to the dying beast of need disguised as love
on deathrow inside my ribcage.
I have not forgotten the years of midnight hunger
when I could see how the past had guided me
and I cried and held the pillow, muddled
in the melodrama of the quite immature
but anyway, Uncle Adrian…
Here I am in the reservation of my mind
and silence settles forever
the vacancy of this cheap city room.
In the wine darkness my cigarette coal
tints my face with Geronimo’s rage
and I’m in the dry hills with a Winchester
waiting to shoot the lean, learned fools
who taught me to live-think in English.

Uncle Adrian…
to make a long night story short,
you promised to give me your Oldsmobile in 1962.
How come you didn’t?
I could have had some really good times in high school.
Indian/Native America/First Citizen (take your PC pick) poet of considerable talent and power.
HAN  Oct 2018
ADRIAN
HAN Oct 2018
Kamusta kana?
Ilang taon na ang nagdaan nuong ika'y aking nakilala.
Mahigit kumulang na rin ang luhang lumabas sa aking mga mata
Nuong ako'y iniwan **** nag-iisa.

Nuon pag ika'y naaalala nagwawala dahil sa nadarama.
Ngayon ako'y napapangiti na lamang sa twina.
Akala ko dati ay di ko makakaya,
ngunit heto unting unting sumasaya kahit wala ka.

Mahirap sa umipsa,
Pero nakaya
Mahirap sa umpisa, oo
Parang nilibing at hinampas ng troso.
Ako'y litong lito
hindi alam kung bakit ganito
Kung bat nilisan mo...

"Sana pala pinigilan kita
para ngayon para ika'y kasama parin
at nasa tabi ko padin."
Yan ang aking hiling sa unang linggong
ika'y hindi kapiling.
Ako'y humihiling sa bituin na sana ika'y bumalik sa akin
Ngunit tila ba'y hangin ang sumagot at hindi ako pinansin.

Mahal wag mag-alala
kasi kaya ko na ang mag-isa at wala ka.
Mas malakas na ako
kaysa sa dating nakilala mo.
Hindi na ako umiiyak pagnag-iisa
Mas kaya ko na.

Alam mo minsan ang ang tanong sa sarili ko
"paano kaya ikaw parin ay nandito?"
"Magiging kompleto kaya ang araw ko?"
Pero ang sagot ng isip at puso
"Mas mabuting ika'y nilisan kaysa minahal sa kasinungalingan.
Naging malakas ka nang ikaw ay iniwan.
Naging makata ka paminsan minsan."
Kaya alam ko sa sarili na mas maayos na na ako'y iyong binabayaan
Pero mas masaya at buo parin ang aking puso kong hindi mo iniwan sa kadiliman.

Sana, iyong malaman na ika'y aking minahal ng lubusan,
"Huwag **** pabayaan ang iyong kalusugan"
Aking huling habilin bago ka lumisan.

Tinanong ko parin ang aking sarili minsan,
"Ako ba'y may pagkukulang? O sadyang ako lang ang nagmahal sa aming pag-iibigan?"
Maraming tanong ang tumatakbo sa aking isipan pag alaala ay naalala paminsan-minsan.
Ngunit lahat ng yon ay di mo masasagot at aking  na lamang dinagdag sa tulaan.

Lahat na ata'y aking nakwento sa tulang ito.
Ito, itong tula na ito ang tanging paraan upang malaman mo
Ang pagdurusang pinagdaanan ko
nang mawala ka sa piling ko.
Ang mga pangakong binitawan mo
para bang naglaho
Pero kahit masakit ang ginawa mo
Hindi kita masisisi sa pagkukulang nagawa ko
Hindi ko masisi ang tadhana kung hindi tayo para sa dulo.

Kahit na ganito, ikaw ang nagparamdaman ng pagmamahal
Kaya hindi ko kita malimut-limutan kahit tila ba'y ako ay sinasakal.
Sadyang ikaw lamang ay minahal
kahit na isang malaking sampal
na ako'y iyong iniwang luhaan at puso'y nagdurugo sa daan
na kahit pa'y ikaw ay may iba ng mahal
kahit pa na naubusan na ang luha at letra sa aking isipan.

At heto ako ipinagdiriwang ang ating kaarawan kung saan nagsimula ang ating pagmamahalan.
Sana'y iyong malaman,
na ako'y hindi nakakalimot sa ating tagpuan at mga kasiyahan.
Sana rin iyong malaman,
ang pangalan ng ating anghel ay Adrian.
Slow sinks, more lovely ere his race be run,
Along Morea’s hills the setting Sun;
Not, as in northern climes, obscurely bright,
But one unclouded blaze of living light;
O’er the hushed deep the yellow beam he throws,
Gilds the green wave that trembles as it glows;
On old ægina’s rock and Hydra’s isle
The God of gladness sheds his parting smile;
O’er his own regions lingering loves to shine,
Though there his altars are no more divine.
Descending fast, the mountain-shadows kiss
Thy glorious Gulf, unconquered Salamis!
Their azure arches through the long expanse,
More deeply purpled, meet his mellowing glance,
And tenderest tints, along their summits driven,
Mark his gay course, and own the hues of Heaven;
Till, darkly shaded from the land and deep,
Behind his Delphian rock he sinks to sleep.

  On such an eve his palest beam he cast
When, Athens! here thy Wisest looked his last.
How watched thy better sons his farewell ray,
That closed their murdered Sage’s latest day!
Not yet—not yet—Sol pauses on the hill,
The precious hour of parting lingers still;
But sad his light to agonizing eyes,
And dark the mountain’s once delightful dyes;
Gloom o’er the lovely land he seemed to pour,
The land where Phoebus never frowned before;
But ere he sunk below Cithaeron’s head,
The cup of Woe was quaffed—the Spirit fled;
The soul of Him that scorned to fear or fly,
Who lived and died as none can live or die.

  But lo! from high Hymettus to the plain
The Queen of Night asserts her silent reign;
No murky vapour, herald of the storm,
Hides her fair face, or girds her glowing form;
With cornice glimmering as the moonbeams play,
There the white column greets her grateful ray,
And bright around, with quivering beams beset,
Her emblem sparkles o’er the Minaret;
The groves of olive scattered dark and wide,
Where meek Cephisus sheds his scanty tide,
The cypress saddening by the sacred mosque,
The gleaming turret of the gay kiosk,
And sad and sombre ’mid the holy calm,
Near Theseus’ fane, yon solitary palm;
All, tinged with varied hues, arrest the eye;
And dull were his that passed them heedless by.
Again the ægean, heard no more afar,
Lulls his chafed breast from elemental war:
Again his waves in milder tints unfold
Their long expanse of sapphire and of gold,
Mixed with the shades of many a distant isle
That frown, where gentler Ocean deigns to smile.

  As thus, within the walls of Pallas’ fane,
I marked the beauties of the land and main,
Alone, and friendless, on the magic shore,
Whose arts and arms but live in poets’ lore;
Oft as the matchless dome I turned to scan,
Sacred to Gods, but not secure from Man,
The Past returned, the Present seemed to cease,
And Glory knew no clime beyond her Greece!

  Hour rolled along, and Dian’******on high
Had gained the centre of her softest sky;
And yet unwearied still my footsteps trod
O’er the vain shrine of many a vanished God:
But chiefly, Pallas! thine, when Hecate’s glare
Checked by thy columns, fell more sadly fair
O’er the chill marble, where the startling tread
Thrills the lone heart like echoes from the dead.
Long had I mused, and treasured every trace
The wreck of Greece recorded of her race,
When, lo! a giant-form before me strode,
And Pallas hailed me in her own Abode!

  Yes,’twas Minerva’s self; but, ah! how changed,
Since o’er the Dardan field in arms she ranged!
Not such as erst, by her divine command,
Her form appeared from Phidias’ plastic hand:
Gone were the terrors of her awful brow,
Her idle ægis bore no Gorgon now;
Her helm was dinted, and the broken lance
Seemed weak and shaftless e’en to mortal glance;
The Olive Branch, which still she deigned to clasp,
Shrunk from her touch, and withered in her grasp;
And, ah! though still the brightest of the sky,
Celestial tears bedimmed her large blue eye;
Round the rent casque her owlet circled slow,
And mourned his mistress with a shriek of woe!

  “Mortal!”—’twas thus she spake—”that blush of shame
Proclaims thee Briton, once a noble name;
First of the mighty, foremost of the free,
Now honoured ‘less’ by all, and ‘least’ by me:
Chief of thy foes shall Pallas still be found.
Seek’st thou the cause of loathing!—look around.
Lo! here, despite of war and wasting fire,
I saw successive Tyrannies expire;
‘Scaped from the ravage of the Turk and Goth,
Thy country sends a spoiler worse than both.
Survey this vacant, violated fane;
Recount the relics torn that yet remain:
‘These’ Cecrops placed, ‘this’ Pericles adorned,
‘That’ Adrian reared when drooping Science mourned.
What more I owe let Gratitude attest—
Know, Alaric and Elgin did the rest.
That all may learn from whence the plunderer came,
The insulted wall sustains his hated name:
For Elgin’s fame thus grateful Pallas pleads,
Below, his name—above, behold his deeds!
Be ever hailed with equal honour here
The Gothic monarch and the Pictish peer:
Arms gave the first his right, the last had none,
But basely stole what less barbarians won.
So when the Lion quits his fell repast,
Next prowls the Wolf, the filthy Jackal last:
Flesh, limbs, and blood the former make their own,
The last poor brute securely gnaws the bone.
Yet still the Gods are just, and crimes are crossed:
See here what Elgin won, and what he lost!
Another name with his pollutes my shrine:
Behold where Dian’s beams disdain to shine!
Some retribution still might Pallas claim,
When Venus half avenged Minerva’s shame.”

  She ceased awhile, and thus I dared reply,
To soothe the vengeance kindling in her eye:
“Daughter of Jove! in Britain’s injured name,
A true-born Briton may the deed disclaim.
Frown not on England; England owns him not:
Athena, no! thy plunderer was a Scot.
Ask’st thou the difference? From fair Phyles’ towers
Survey Boeotia;—Caledonia’s ours.
And well I know within that ******* land
Hath Wisdom’s goddess never held command;
A barren soil, where Nature’s germs, confined
To stern sterility, can stint the mind;
Whose thistle well betrays the niggard earth,
Emblem of all to whom the Land gives birth;
Each genial influence nurtured to resist;
A land of meanness, sophistry, and mist.
Each breeze from foggy mount and marshy plain
Dilutes with drivel every drizzly brain,
Till, burst at length, each wat’ry head o’erflows,
Foul as their soil, and frigid as their snows:
Then thousand schemes of petulance and pride
Despatch her scheming children far and wide;
Some East, some West, some—everywhere but North!
In quest of lawless gain, they issue forth.
And thus—accursed be the day and year!
She sent a Pict to play the felon here.
Yet Caledonia claims some native worth,
As dull Boeotia gave a Pindar birth;
So may her few, the lettered and the brave,
Bound to no clime, and victors of the grave,
Shake off the sordid dust of such a land,
And shine like children of a happier strand;
As once, of yore, in some obnoxious place,
Ten names (if found) had saved a wretched race.”

  “Mortal!” the blue-eyed maid resumed, “once more
Bear back my mandate to thy native shore.
Though fallen, alas! this vengeance yet is mine,
To turn my counsels far from lands like thine.
Hear then in silence Pallas’ stern behest;
Hear and believe, for Time will tell the rest.

  “First on the head of him who did this deed
My curse shall light,—on him and all his seed:
Without one spark of intellectual fire,
Be all the sons as senseless as the sire:
If one with wit the parent brood disgrace,
Believe him ******* of a brighter race:
Still with his hireling artists let him prate,
And Folly’s praise repay for Wisdom’s hate;
Long of their Patron’s gusto let them tell,
Whose noblest, native gusto is—to sell:
To sell, and make—may shame record the day!—
The State—Receiver of his pilfered prey.
Meantime, the flattering, feeble dotard, West,
Europe’s worst dauber, and poor Britain’s best,
With palsied hand shall turn each model o’er,
And own himself an infant of fourscore.
Be all the Bruisers culled from all St. Giles’,
That Art and Nature may compare their styles;
While brawny brutes in stupid wonder stare,
And marvel at his Lordship’s ’stone shop’ there.
Round the thronged gate shall sauntering coxcombs creep
To lounge and lucubrate, to prate and peep;
While many a languid maid, with longing sigh,
On giant statues casts the curious eye;
The room with transient glance appears to skim,
Yet marks the mighty back and length of limb;
Mourns o’er the difference of now and then;
Exclaims, ‘These Greeks indeed were proper men!’
Draws slight comparisons of ‘these’ with ‘those’,
And envies Laïs all her Attic beaux.
When shall a modern maid have swains like these?
Alas! Sir Harry is no Hercules!
And last of all, amidst the gaping crew,
Some calm spectator, as he takes his view,
In silent indignation mixed with grief,
Admires the plunder, but abhors the thief.
Oh, loathed in life, nor pardoned in the dust,
May Hate pursue his sacrilegious lust!
Linked with the fool that fired the Ephesian dome,
Shall vengeance follow far beyond the tomb,
And Eratostratus and Elgin shine
In many a branding page and burning line;
Alike reserved for aye to stand accursed,
Perchance the second blacker than the first.

  “So let him stand, through ages yet unborn,
Fixed statue on the pedestal of Scorn;
Though not for him alone revenge shall wait,
But fits thy country for her coming fate:
Hers were the deeds that taught her lawless son
To do what oft Britannia’s self had done.
Look to the Baltic—blazing from afar,
Your old Ally yet mourns perfidious war.
Not to such deeds did Pallas lend her aid,
Or break the compact which herself had made;
Far from such counsels, from the faithless field
She fled—but left behind her Gorgon shield;
A fatal gift that turned your friends to stone,
And left lost Albion hated and alone.

“Look to the East, where Ganges’ swarthy race
Shall shake your tyrant empire to its base;
Lo! there Rebellion rears her ghastly head,
And glares the Nemesis of native dead;
Till Indus rolls a deep purpureal flood,
And claims his long arrear of northern blood.
So may ye perish!—Pallas, when she gave
Your free-born rights, forbade ye to enslave.

  “Look on your Spain!—she clasps the hand she hates,
But boldly clasps, and thrusts you from her gates.
Bear witness, bright Barossa! thou canst tell
Whose were the sons that bravely fought and fell.
But Lusitania, kind and dear ally,
Can spare a few to fight, and sometimes fly.
Oh glorious field! by Famine fiercely won,
The Gaul retires for once, and all is done!
But when did Pallas teach, that one retreat
Retrieved three long Olympiads of defeat?

  “Look last at home—ye love not to look there
On the grim smile of comfortless despair:
Your city saddens: loud though Revel howls,
Here Famine faints, and yonder Rapine prowls.
See all alike of more or less bereft;
No misers tremble when there’s nothing left.
‘Blest paper credit;’ who shall dare to sing?
It clogs like lead Corruption’s weary wing.
Yet Pallas pluck’d each Premier by the ear,
Who Gods and men alike disdained to hear;
But one, repentant o’er a bankrupt state,
On Pallas calls,—but calls, alas! too late:
Then raves for’——’; to that Mentor bends,
Though he and Pallas never yet were friends.
Him senates hear, whom never yet they heard,
Contemptuous once, and now no less absurd.
So, once of yore, each reasonable frog,
Swore faith and fealty to his sovereign ‘log.’
Thus hailed your rulers their patrician clod,
As Egypt chose an onion for a God.

  “Now fare ye well! enjoy your little hour;
Go, grasp the shadow of your vanished power;
Gloss o’er the failure of each fondest scheme;
Your strength a name, your bloated wealth a dream.
Gone is that Gold, the marvel of mankind.
And Pirates barter all that’s left behind.
No more the hirelings, purchased near and far,
Crowd to the ranks of mercenary war.
The idle merchant on the useless quay
Droops o’er the bales no bark may bear away;
Or, back returning, sees rejected stores
Rot piecemeal on his own encumbered shores:
The starved mechanic breaks his rusting loom,
And desperate mans him ‘gainst the coming doom.
Then in the Senates of your sinking state
Show me the man whose counsels may have weight.
Vain is each voice where tones could once command;
E’en factions cease to charm a factious land:
Yet jarring sects convulse a sister Isle,
And light with maddening hands the mutual pile.

  “’Tis done, ’tis past—since Pallas warns in vain;
The Furies seize her abdicated reign:
Wide o’er the realm they wave their kindling brands,
And wring her vitals with their fiery hands.
But one convulsive struggle still remains,
And Gaul shall weep ere Albion wear her chains,
The bannered pomp of war, the glittering files,
O’er whose gay trappings stern Bellona smiles;
The brazen trump, the spirit-stirring drum,
That bid the foe defiance ere they come;
The hero bounding at his country’s call,
The glorious death that consecrates his fall,
Swell the young heart with visionary charms.
And bid it antedate the joys of arms.
But know, a lesson you may yet be taught,
With death alone are laurels cheaply bought;
Not in the conflict Havoc seeks delight,
His day of mercy is the day of fight.
But when the field is fought, the battle won,
Though drenched with gore, his woes are but begun:
His deeper deeds as yet ye know by name;
The slaughtered peasant and the ravished dame,
The rifled mansion and the foe-reaped field,
Ill suit with souls at home, untaught to yield.
Say with what eye along the distant down
Would flying burghers mark the blazing town?
How view the column of ascending flames
Shake his red shadow o’er the startled Thames?
Nay, frown not, Albion! for the torch was thine
That lit such pyres from Tagus to the Rhine:
Now should they burst on thy devoted coast,
Go, ask thy ***** who deserves them most?
The law of Heaven and Earth is life for life,
And she who raised, in vain regrets, the strife.”
Brenduh Dec 2014
Let me tell you about my Adrian
He's a shy guy who has a lot to say
he's really important to me, but somehow he feels insignificant
Adrian is afraid to love, but he would find a way to express it
He is really funny and knows how to make me laugh
He has made me feel so many emotions in such a small amount of  time, that it's surprising how close we are
He is an amazing person
He's someone worth fighting for, dying for, and living for.
He would say that I saved him, but to be honest he saved me,
tangshunzi Jul 2014
Si può o non può avere sentito un po 'di qualcuno di nome Kelly Clarkson sono sposati lo scorso fine settimana .E il suo matrimonio?Total .TOTALE .Svenire .Le nostre LBBers talento ultra dietro Archetype Studio Inc. ha fatto gli onori di catturare il giorno e stanno dando a noi anatre poco fortunati una sbirciatina a tutti la bella .


e dire la verità .un piccolo sguardo a Tennessee fattoria matrimonio di Kelly è tutto quello che dobbiamo sapere che siamo con tutto il cuore in amore .Non siete d'accordo



?
Fotografia : Archetype Studio Inc. | Abito da sposa: " Jessamine " by Temperley London | Anelli : Johnathon Arndt | capelli: Robert Ramos | Vestito dello sposo : John Varvatos | Fascia : Maria Elena | Trucco : Ashley Donovan | Stylist : Steph Ashmore| Luogo: Blackberry Farm

Prima di testa fuori nel fine settimana .abbiamo pochi vincitori super speciale !

Emily R abiti da sposa 2014 portato a casa un paio di Wedgewood Vera **** abiti da sposa 2014 Amore Nodi tostatura flauti da Secrets abiti da sposa corti Puerto Los Cabos Golf \u0026Spa Resort !Woohoo!

E complimenti a Fiona McGregor \u0026Nick Connellan .che hanno vinto una sessione impegno libero da Adrian Tuazon Fotografia !

Buon fine settimana !xoxo SMPTemperley London è un membro del nostro Look Book .Per ulteriori informazioni su come vengono scelti i membri .fare clic qui .Archetype Studio e Adrian Tuazon Fotografia sono membri del nostro Little Black Book .Scopri come i membri sono scelti visitando la nostra pagina delle FAQ .Archetype Studio Inc. vedi portfolio Adrian Tuazon Fotografia VIEW
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Nozze di Kelly Clarkson - A Sneak Peak_vestiti da sposa

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