tell me what keeps you awake at 2 am
whether it’s the girl who took the knife of her absence and stabbed it into your sternum
or the loneliness that swallows your skin

play the one song which releases the floodgates in your eyes
and let me listen to it over and over again
until i find which line makes your heart drop to your stomach

describe the story of your body to me
tell me of the invisible scars too
and with each detail you describe
i will make a map
so i know which road bumps to avoid
or which holy sites to fall to my knees and kiss the ground of

remember that
i wear a mask brimming with self confidence and an armor of words that are both easy to tear for they were thin like tissue to begin with
i am sensitive
taking to hurt the way a sponge absorbs water

do not hide me behind closed doors or keep me entrapped in bed sheets
when you walk past me, do not pull your hood over your head and avert your gaze
i need you to look at my eyes as if they illuminated the entire world
and kiss my lips as if they are what allow you to breathe

open the door.
bring me flowers.
because the only boy who did either was my 5th grade boyfriend

be willing to meet my family and friends
for they were the ones who created the marble statue whom you marvel at today

take note of how my heart is a reflection of myself
how she is too kind and will kiss the same man who tore her in two
so please do not say words which will make her wings flutter
if you are not ready to be the nest she flies to

let me know that me, as myself, i am enough
that i do not need to be a chameleon
dipping myself in new colors each day to please you

remember the little things about me
like how my first phrase i uttered was shut up to a man in an elevator or the delight i take in handwritten letters and mix CDs, or the significance of my first tattoo
because everything about you is being etched into the walls of mind
so that i can never forget

trace your fingers with a loving tenderness over my scars from the times i transformed my body into a crucifix
pinning my hands and feet onto a cross out of habit
thinking love was a word synoymous with self sacrifice

you must learn my language
know what zips my lips into silence
know the difference between when i want to give up versus when i will actually do so
and be there to hold me when the seams start to unravel

if you want me to love you
know that many have tried and failed
that people like me are not meant to be soft
if you want me to love you
know that to me
love is not a word you spit out of your mouth and juggle in your hands
you need to promise that our love won’t be like an hourglass
for my body has been disfgured enough from the times my chest turned inside out from the pang of abadonment
if you want me to love you
reaffirm my body is a kindgom, my heart is the treasure, and that i am your queen
paint pictures for me in what you do and say
telling me i am worthy to be loved, worthy to be kept, and worthy to stay

but if you really want me to fall in love with you
tell me what you see right before you close your eyes at night to fall asleep
and if you tell me it’s me
i will fall unfathomably further for you than i already have

Invincible for the empire roman;
That fury and vengeance was his language;
How Viriathus as vanquish around 200 years;
And lusitânia wasn't clears;

Port du graal was it's the place;
How was hidden the Holy Graal;
The secrets and wars was case;
And raise the Portugal;

The Kingdom for war and conquer ;
Was spoken by a glory Europe;
The spanish, french,english and Dutch ;
Bowed over the mighty Avis Master;

The glory and death of The Empire ;
Was not clear , the kindgom was gone;
The King D.Manuel II wasn't the bel;
But was bare wire;

Know Lusitania is lost;
So high is the cost?;
We never know the reason;
But Iberians gonna be the new season;

for three years you were my knight,
night took over and flooded my castle but you fought him off
with great chivalry, with cunning words you lied to me
to insinuate safety

but I don't need that anymore.

for three years you were the beast,
who I defended my kingdom from,
at last I have won against the forces that threatened me,

I don't need you anymore.

When you sent a message and begged of my hand,
chills broke my silence, weakened my stand.
For a minute, maybe, I wanted to say yes,
I blushed at the thought of reuniting and bliss,
but I walked outside alone to say no,
and realized there that I had built a moat.
It surrounded my kindgom, with great width and more depth,
and it was filled with water from tears that I'd wept
every time you came back and then left,
and while you shined in the moonlight, I felt weary in the knees,
but learned that you were my night and with you I can't see
I am the moon, I am my own ******* ******* light,
I'm not a last resort when you can't sleep at night


so I said no.
Because I don't need you anymore.
I won't be there ever again when you come to knock down my door.

Ties myself to the trees
Ropes tightened around my wrists and feet
Throw a rock on the gas petal rip my body apart
Have my intestines and blood stain the trunk of my car
Take me to the black room at the back of the rave
Stick four needles in each pupil let me feel all of that pain
I'd rather take a knife cut off my finger tips
Stick em in lemon juice stinging like acid
Watch my blood dilute the yellowish liquid
I'd rather **** myself then to ever live
Put the pistol to my temple give myself what i deserve
I know my own worth that's why i wanna die in the dirt
These demons they're yelling, whispering to me.
Speaking of things i have already seen. Telling me that it's okay to sleep. Knowing i see dead faces in my dreams. Lately my nightmares have been changing. ****** features of the figments rearranging. Went from older bro to two girls to one girl to nothing. Thinking of them my chest I'm clutching
So what is it this figment this dark shadowy figure. Mister miss me lately call you when you're crazy. Let me know when you're happy so i can bring the rain please. Let me crawl inside your head just to lay eggs of sadness you see. This shadowy figure is embodiment of depression to me
Words, words, words, words let me show you what they do. Tell me I'm worthless leave me battered and bruised. By pronouns and adjectives. Making me feel a whole lot Dif-ferent. The bottle of ***** in ya locker that you sip so casually. Seems to be the only vice i have that i see. Your image and reflection in this shot glasses i drink from. Makes me feel like i won't reach kindgom come. Maybe I'm Destined for hell in a 1 by 1 foot cell.
Fill up my bathtub with ******* water and a couple bottles of ***** then. I can sip a little bit while i start pondering. Feeling like sunday night dreading life like monday morning. Only thoughts i really have are of gruesome demons eating me slowly. Make me want to crawl to the kitchen and use a knife to feel a little more "holy". Funny how you used to shove jesus down my throat. Now I'm cursing him with blood guzzling out my throat.
Dark shadows envelope me
Wrapped a noose around my neck so i couldn't breathe
Depression was a drug to me like ecstasy
Tightened the noose i still don't wanna be
**** living without a meaning worthless never been worth ****
Depression hit me like a train knocked me off the chair now my limp body is hanging in the air
I'd rather sleep in the alleyways
Drink till I'm in a daze
Smoke till my mind is hazed
Cut till i don't ******* bleed
Drowning till i can't ******* breathe
All the memories start to fade day after ******* day
Run out into traffic just to take the pain away

The world is at peace
United as one kingdom
Under the ruler
Of the kindgom of the air

Under him

Science has fallen
Hailed as progress
Dragging us back into the mud
Of disease and blind adherence

The family is broken
Torn from the seams
No father home left to teach
No mother home left to nurture

God is dead
Removed from the world
The work of his own hands
Deny his very existence

We are all lost
Searching for meaning
A meaning we cannot find
Because we've already rejected it

The kingdom long promised has come
Bringing peace to the earth
The kingdom has come
Though, not the one we expected