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Chicago
"Music doesn't lie. If there is something to be changed in this world, then it can only happen through music." -Jimi Hendrix
Canada
Home grown from Ontario Canada, city girl. Just an ordinary girl with a dream and a plan. Author and Artist. Discovering things all over through …
Poems
Sjr1000 Sep 2016
Generations
Sjr1000
Sep 2016
(Went out today,
Charter boat
Trinidad Bay
Limited out on rock fish
in two hours
Watching Elks Head
from the ocean,
Grandpa)
Isadore
Called him Izzy
Chewing all day
on a fat cigar
Looked at lot like Jimmy Durante
His father stowed away on a ship
Wasn't going to be a Russian military conscript
Genocidal pogroms were coming
how he knew
we'll never know.
Ended up in Philadelphia town,
Scranton Pennsylvania
Moved along to Brooklyn
Stubby Izzy
fighting it out with the Irish immigrants
Dreaming of having a chicken farm
over there in New Jersey
Izzy met Grandma Sarah at the family clothing store
they fought it out for 70 years
The 60's book
Games People Play
They were the star attraction
The friction was the glue
that kept them together
The friction was the match
that lit their passion.
Grandpa Izzy
funniest man I ever met
Drove an old 48 Ford
selling housewares in the Southern route.
In the morning far too early
Sneaking into his room
tickling his feet to the sounds
of ohhs and hoho's
At five years old
Grandpa Izzy
took me fishing
on some New Jersey pond -
Afternoon sun with yellow colors
bringing all the foliage alive
Sun setting
fish rising
a hand held in mine
defined the peace
I seek
in reoccurring dreams through out a lifetime
A troubled teen
all suicidal
the drive in the 48 Ford
with Grandpa Izzy
running down the Malibu pier
catching the half day boat before it
disappeared
Grandpa Izzy
never lived far from a race track
I don't know about those losing days
but the secret he said
Was to never lose your sense of humor
Always be able to laugh at yourself
Izzy smoked those big old chewed cigars
lived until he was 94
Ended up not knowing
Who or where he was
Maybe we all
end up
that way too
But in my memory
there is sharp focus
he remains alive in me
If heaven is there
I know I'll find
Izzy and I
on that New Jersey pond,
a fishing line
and
peace inside.
Charter boat
Trinidad Bay
Limited out on rock fish
in two hours
Watching Elks Head
from the ocean,
Grandpa)
Isadore
Called him Izzy
Chewing all day
on a fat cigar
Looked at lot like Jimmy Durante
His father stowed away on a ship
Wasn't going to be a Russian military conscript
Genocidal pogroms were coming
how he knew
we'll never know.
Ended up in Philadelphia town,
Scranton Pennsylvania
Moved along to Brooklyn
Stubby Izzy
fighting it out with the Irish immigrants
Dreaming of having a chicken farm
over there in New Jersey
Izzy met Grandma Sarah at the family clothing store
they fought it out for 70 years
The 60's book
Games People Play
They were the star attraction
The friction was the glue
that kept them together
The friction was the match
that lit their passion.
Grandpa Izzy
funniest man I ever met
Drove an old 48 Ford
selling housewares in the Southern route.
In the morning far too early
Sneaking into his room
tickling his feet to the sounds
of ohhs and hoho's
At five years old
Grandpa Izzy
took me fishing
on some New Jersey pond -
Afternoon sun with yellow colors
bringing all the foliage alive
Sun setting
fish rising
a hand held in mine
defined the peace
I seek
in reoccurring dreams through out a lifetime
A troubled teen
all suicidal
the drive in the 48 Ford
with Grandpa Izzy
running down the Malibu pier
catching the half day boat before it
disappeared
Grandpa Izzy
never lived far from a race track
I don't know about those losing days
but the secret he said
Was to never lose your sense of humor
Always be able to laugh at yourself
Izzy smoked those big old chewed cigars
lived until he was 94
Ended up not knowing
Who or where he was
Maybe we all
end up
that way too
But in my memory
there is sharp focus
he remains alive in me
If heaven is there
I know I'll find
Izzy and I
on that New Jersey pond,
a fishing line
and
peace inside.
Grandparents are mythic creatures occupying a special place in our lives. I also want to acknowledge some were not so lucky as me, and grandparents were objects of fear and terror. Feel free to share your own experiences.
Waverly Mar 2012
A Lack of Compassion.
Waverly
Mar 2012
Isela
takes it in
the mouth.
She'd get on her knees,
positioning herself
half-in,
half-out
of focus.
Just enough for Joe,
behind the Cannon,
to capture
the whole thing.
Eric,
the producer,
was on his hands and knees
beside Joe.
'Come on Izzy
work it,
work the ****.'
'That's right,
stroke it,
make him sing.'
'I love it,
Izzy.'
Izzy wanted to bite
down.
She hated each and every ****,
she ever saw,
but she had a few things to do.
Her **** had to be new
and renewed
on the daily,
her ***** had to get wet
on command,
and her stroke had to be
so fast
they'd burn the dude
as her mouth
cooled.
After her mouth
was littered,
and her face was a mess
of spinal glitter -- You could make a man
come out of his
brain, Eric would say.
Izzy would get in her car,
wiping her arm
where'd she'd gone
to the clinic
to get pricked
and tested,
and pull a long haul of Virginia Slims
down her throat.
'
It was always the first sweet thing
she tasted.
Izzy would pull into the Terrace View apartments,
all that long black hair,
and wipe all that make-up off,
three napkins-worth,
so she could kiss her baby.
Because Rocco was in for a bid,
and not coming home anytime in
the forseeable future.
Her microbiology degree was somewhere
in her closet underneath those pink stillettos and
more fishnets than fish.
And Izzy knew
that with those double d's;
*** like a backseat,
mouth that could grease
a ****,
and her hands
Eric liked to call his own,
that she could pay the light bill
and maybe
put Romeo
into a daycare center
that wasn't full of roaches
and
angry *******.
"Someday I'll get out,
but it's illogical
to say
with all the money I'm making,
and it's just a job
when you get down to it,
I've ****** a lot of *****
and never gotten
paid."
Rocco Jr.'s cheeks were always the second
sweet thing
she tasted.
"I know a lot of girls
that got defeated by this game."
takes it in
the mouth.
She'd get on her knees,
positioning herself
half-in,
half-out
of focus.
Just enough for Joe,
behind the Cannon,
to capture
the whole thing.
Eric,
the producer,
was on his hands and knees
beside Joe.
'Come on Izzy
work it,
work the ****.'
'That's right,
stroke it,
make him sing.'
'I love it,
Izzy.'
Izzy wanted to bite
down.
She hated each and every ****,
she ever saw,
but she had a few things to do.
Her **** had to be new
and renewed
on the daily,
her ***** had to get wet
on command,
and her stroke had to be
so fast
they'd burn the dude
as her mouth
cooled.
After her mouth
was littered,
and her face was a mess
of spinal glitter -- You could make a man
come out of his
brain, Eric would say.
Izzy would get in her car,
wiping her arm
where'd she'd gone
to the clinic
to get pricked
and tested,
and pull a long haul of Virginia Slims
down her throat.
'
It was always the first sweet thing
she tasted.
Izzy would pull into the Terrace View apartments,
all that long black hair,
and wipe all that make-up off,
three napkins-worth,
so she could kiss her baby.
Because Rocco was in for a bid,
and not coming home anytime in
the forseeable future.
Her microbiology degree was somewhere
in her closet underneath those pink stillettos and
more fishnets than fish.
And Izzy knew
that with those double d's;
*** like a backseat,
mouth that could grease
a ****,
and her hands
Eric liked to call his own,
that she could pay the light bill
and maybe
put Romeo
into a daycare center
that wasn't full of roaches
and
angry *******.
"Someday I'll get out,
but it's illogical
to say
with all the money I'm making,
and it's just a job
when you get down to it,
I've ****** a lot of *****
and never gotten
paid."
Rocco Jr.'s cheeks were always the second
sweet thing
she tasted.
"I know a lot of girls
that got defeated by this game."
When you talk about pornstars, prostitutes, strippers in a derogatory way, think for a sec without a lack of compassion and especially not with a heightened sense of sympathy.
nabi 나비 Jan 2017
Coming Out. // My Story
nabi 나비
Jan 2017
Warning* This is not a poem, by any stretch of the means, if you don't want to read a story then skip over this. If you are against any part of the LGBT+ community, skip over this!! If you would like to read this then keep on reading and thank you very much
Coming out is terrifying. Figuring yourself out in the first place is absolutely scary, but then telling everyone what you've figured out is even scarier. Here is my story.
My story starts in the 4th grade. I remember I would be at choir concerts and I would be in the audience watching with my family, and I would be staring at the girls. Because they had such pretty dresses, and gorgeous makeup, and long flawless hair. And I would pay no attention to the boys, because the boys aren't pretty like the girls are, they aren't pretty at all to me. Then suddenly I noticed that, and then I remembered all the girls in my class talking about how cute Johnnie is and I sort of connected that I thought Sally was a lot cuter than Johnnie or any other boy in my class was.
Then I remember going home and sitting in my room and being determined to figure this out, because this is weird. I've never heard of a girl liking a girl! That happens?!?! If this is real then why haven't Mom or Dad said anything? So I sat down in my room and I got a black, blue, and pink marker and a piece of paper. On one side of the paper I drew a boy in blue and on the other I drew a girl in pink. In the middle I put the word or. But I didn't know which side to circle, so I folded up the paper and hid in between my closet door because it was open but you could put stuff in between the doors without anyone seeing it. In a month I found the paper again, and this time I knew which one I was attracted to. So I grab my black marker and I circle the girl.
I don't really remember how much longer after the paper incident that this next event happened, but I know it was 4th-5th grade somewhere in there. I had my best friend over, I think it was for a sleepover. We're gonna call her Ally. But I remember me and Ally were just hangin out in my room. I look over at Ally and say 'Hey, Ally I gotta tell you something' and she's waiting for me to respond. So I say 'I think I like girls.' That's all I say, nothing more. Ally goes off repeating that it's wrong and that it's not right and that I have to like boys otherwise something is wrong with me, and is just going on and on when I just jump up and say 'JUST KIDDING, it was just a joke calm down'. Then we just laugh it off and then she makes the comment 'if you did like girls i'd be okay with it, but i wouldn't be as close to you because i'm a girl too'. That really hurt me, which caused me to internalize all of my questioning thoughts and try my hardest to forget about them.
Now it is middle school, during middle school I dated 3 boys. We are going to call them Jona, Chris, and Lucas. I dated Jona for 15 months and our "relationship" was more like a friendship with fancier terms. I'm buddies with Jona now so it's all good. Chris didn't last long so that doesn't really matter. Lucas!!!! I dated Lucas for 6 months and during this time I realized that I really was attracted to girls and I couldn't keep hiding it. I realized this because Lucas was my first kiss and I was not into it AT ALL!!! I just wasn't, I tried i really did. But I just was never much into the dude thing! Nothing against him at all, he's a really sweet guy and I'm really close friends with him now. But after I had my first kiss, I pretty much was like girls are real pretty and the dudes im just not into that. So I sorta just slowly stopped talking to Lucas, and I ended breaking up with him.
But I was scared of being judged for being completely lesbian, so i came out as a pansexual because i thought people would be more accepting. So I came out to my sister first, I have 2 sisters and i came out to the one that is a year younger than me ,Izzy. Izzy was in the living room one night and i walked out there and i said 'Izzy, you'll love me no matter what, right?' she replied yes and just asked me what was wrong repeatedly. Then I was like I was thinking and just needed some reminder. Then she followed me to my room and harassed me for an explanation. Then I came out and said 'Izzy, im pansexual.' Then I explained what it was and the first thing she said was '***, NOW I HAVE A GBF!!!'. I felt so much better after that and i was just so relieved. After that i came out to my Mom, friends, and my other sister.
After 3 months, I revealed to my mom that i was still confused because I leaned more towards females and that at that moment i was just using pan as a label but if it changed to not be surprised.
Around a week after that I gained the courage to come out to my Dad. I honestly don't know why I was so scared to come out to him, but I was and he was around the last one to learn. So I walked into my parents room and was just talking to Dad, I had my mom stay in the room just to lessen my anxiety about all of this. Then I brought up the topic of the LGBT+ community, dad and i talked about it for awhile. Then i said 'dad, i mentioned gays because i like girls'. then my dad went on a list of analogies but in the end he was okay with it. Actually my dad was the most supportive about it right after i told him he was so okay with it and it made me so happy. Although my dad was upset because i was scared to tell him. After I came out to him, I pretty much just admitted to being a full blown lesbian, and it was all great and dandy and everyone was happy.
Then it was time to go back to school, but this year was the year I started high school. So I was a freshman who had just come out as a lesbian to all my friends and family over summer. So not many people knew that I was gay. But then I become friends with this girl, I really liked her. I was at a friends party and she was invited and after that party I couldn't get her off my mind. (I know this seems like it's going off track but it will connect soon) I figured out that we have a class together and we started talking.
At the party I mentioned the whole being gay thing and she was okay and very aware of it, and one day she went to my locker after school. She had been doing that a lot and gave me hugs to say bye and stuff but i completely overlooked it because i don't know what flirting is. She was at my locker and i decided to put my big girl pants on and ask if she liked girls. She responded with i'm pretty much cool with anything (pansexual). Then she asked me to the dance, I obviously said yes and wigged out when she walked away and immediately texted my best friend in florida (Ally).(Oh BTW I came out to her over summer over skype and she's completely chill with it now, we are still best friends and she doesn't mind at all) So we went to the dance and she asked me out. I said yes, wigged out some more, and then danced some more with my friends while she talked to hers for a few minutes. Fast forward to the few weeks after the dance. We had been walking down the halls and hugging so everyone figured it out.
That's where we are today. I am still dating the girl, i've met her family and she has very nice parents. All my friends know that I am lesbian, and they completely accept me. My family knows, but when I say family I mean my household family. My grandma and great-aunt know, but besides that no one else does but I don't really need them too so it's all good. But I am so much happier than I have been in a long time. Yes, relationships are so frickin stressful especially if it is one with the same *** and you've never had one of them before. So if you are in your first relationship with a girl, take it slow. But if anyone is in the mindset of coming out, first make sure that it is safe for you too before you do it. If it's not safe you can't, be safe about it no matter what. You'll be able to be open about it one day, but make sure you are in a safe environment. But if it is, yes coming out is the most stressful time ever! But in the end it is the most rewarding thing, to be able to openly say I'm insert your label(s). It's an amazing feeling, yes you might lose some people on the way but if they won't accept you for the real you then don't even deserve you. So my final thing it, you are an amazing human, and if you come out you are the strongest being and you have earned my utmost respect. If you haven't, you've earned my utmost respect because it's heart wrenching and I've been there, but you will be able to bloom one day my little flower.
Coming out is terrifying. Figuring yourself out in the first place is absolutely scary, but then telling everyone what you've figured out is even scarier. Here is my story.
My story starts in the 4th grade. I remember I would be at choir concerts and I would be in the audience watching with my family, and I would be staring at the girls. Because they had such pretty dresses, and gorgeous makeup, and long flawless hair. And I would pay no attention to the boys, because the boys aren't pretty like the girls are, they aren't pretty at all to me. Then suddenly I noticed that, and then I remembered all the girls in my class talking about how cute Johnnie is and I sort of connected that I thought Sally was a lot cuter than Johnnie or any other boy in my class was.
Then I remember going home and sitting in my room and being determined to figure this out, because this is weird. I've never heard of a girl liking a girl! That happens?!?! If this is real then why haven't Mom or Dad said anything? So I sat down in my room and I got a black, blue, and pink marker and a piece of paper. On one side of the paper I drew a boy in blue and on the other I drew a girl in pink. In the middle I put the word or. But I didn't know which side to circle, so I folded up the paper and hid in between my closet door because it was open but you could put stuff in between the doors without anyone seeing it. In a month I found the paper again, and this time I knew which one I was attracted to. So I grab my black marker and I circle the girl.
I don't really remember how much longer after the paper incident that this next event happened, but I know it was 4th-5th grade somewhere in there. I had my best friend over, I think it was for a sleepover. We're gonna call her Ally. But I remember me and Ally were just hangin out in my room. I look over at Ally and say 'Hey, Ally I gotta tell you something' and she's waiting for me to respond. So I say 'I think I like girls.' That's all I say, nothing more. Ally goes off repeating that it's wrong and that it's not right and that I have to like boys otherwise something is wrong with me, and is just going on and on when I just jump up and say 'JUST KIDDING, it was just a joke calm down'. Then we just laugh it off and then she makes the comment 'if you did like girls i'd be okay with it, but i wouldn't be as close to you because i'm a girl too'. That really hurt me, which caused me to internalize all of my questioning thoughts and try my hardest to forget about them.
Now it is middle school, during middle school I dated 3 boys. We are going to call them Jona, Chris, and Lucas. I dated Jona for 15 months and our "relationship" was more like a friendship with fancier terms. I'm buddies with Jona now so it's all good. Chris didn't last long so that doesn't really matter. Lucas!!!! I dated Lucas for 6 months and during this time I realized that I really was attracted to girls and I couldn't keep hiding it. I realized this because Lucas was my first kiss and I was not into it AT ALL!!! I just wasn't, I tried i really did. But I just was never much into the dude thing! Nothing against him at all, he's a really sweet guy and I'm really close friends with him now. But after I had my first kiss, I pretty much was like girls are real pretty and the dudes im just not into that. So I sorta just slowly stopped talking to Lucas, and I ended breaking up with him.
But I was scared of being judged for being completely lesbian, so i came out as a pansexual because i thought people would be more accepting. So I came out to my sister first, I have 2 sisters and i came out to the one that is a year younger than me ,Izzy. Izzy was in the living room one night and i walked out there and i said 'Izzy, you'll love me no matter what, right?' she replied yes and just asked me what was wrong repeatedly. Then I was like I was thinking and just needed some reminder. Then she followed me to my room and harassed me for an explanation. Then I came out and said 'Izzy, im pansexual.' Then I explained what it was and the first thing she said was '***, NOW I HAVE A GBF!!!'. I felt so much better after that and i was just so relieved. After that i came out to my Mom, friends, and my other sister.
After 3 months, I revealed to my mom that i was still confused because I leaned more towards females and that at that moment i was just using pan as a label but if it changed to not be surprised.
Around a week after that I gained the courage to come out to my Dad. I honestly don't know why I was so scared to come out to him, but I was and he was around the last one to learn. So I walked into my parents room and was just talking to Dad, I had my mom stay in the room just to lessen my anxiety about all of this. Then I brought up the topic of the LGBT+ community, dad and i talked about it for awhile. Then i said 'dad, i mentioned gays because i like girls'. then my dad went on a list of analogies but in the end he was okay with it. Actually my dad was the most supportive about it right after i told him he was so okay with it and it made me so happy. Although my dad was upset because i was scared to tell him. After I came out to him, I pretty much just admitted to being a full blown lesbian, and it was all great and dandy and everyone was happy.
Then it was time to go back to school, but this year was the year I started high school. So I was a freshman who had just come out as a lesbian to all my friends and family over summer. So not many people knew that I was gay. But then I become friends with this girl, I really liked her. I was at a friends party and she was invited and after that party I couldn't get her off my mind. (I know this seems like it's going off track but it will connect soon) I figured out that we have a class together and we started talking.
At the party I mentioned the whole being gay thing and she was okay and very aware of it, and one day she went to my locker after school. She had been doing that a lot and gave me hugs to say bye and stuff but i completely overlooked it because i don't know what flirting is. She was at my locker and i decided to put my big girl pants on and ask if she liked girls. She responded with i'm pretty much cool with anything (pansexual). Then she asked me to the dance, I obviously said yes and wigged out when she walked away and immediately texted my best friend in florida (Ally).(Oh BTW I came out to her over summer over skype and she's completely chill with it now, we are still best friends and she doesn't mind at all) So we went to the dance and she asked me out. I said yes, wigged out some more, and then danced some more with my friends while she talked to hers for a few minutes. Fast forward to the few weeks after the dance. We had been walking down the halls and hugging so everyone figured it out.
That's where we are today. I am still dating the girl, i've met her family and she has very nice parents. All my friends know that I am lesbian, and they completely accept me. My family knows, but when I say family I mean my household family. My grandma and great-aunt know, but besides that no one else does but I don't really need them too so it's all good. But I am so much happier than I have been in a long time. Yes, relationships are so frickin stressful especially if it is one with the same *** and you've never had one of them before. So if you are in your first relationship with a girl, take it slow. But if anyone is in the mindset of coming out, first make sure that it is safe for you too before you do it. If it's not safe you can't, be safe about it no matter what. You'll be able to be open about it one day, but make sure you are in a safe environment. But if it is, yes coming out is the most stressful time ever! But in the end it is the most rewarding thing, to be able to openly say I'm insert your label(s). It's an amazing feeling, yes you might lose some people on the way but if they won't accept you for the real you then don't even deserve you. So my final thing it, you are an amazing human, and if you come out you are the strongest being and you have earned my utmost respect. If you haven't, you've earned my utmost respect because it's heart wrenching and I've been there, but you will be able to bloom one day my little flower.
For the sake of privacy of anyone who may know me reading this, I've changed all the names.