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Kai  Aug 2022
Hell’s Disorder
Kai Aug 2022
Schizoaffective bipolar type is hell’s disorder.
It is a whirlwind of the curious mind.
A fusion of emotions, brick by boring brick.
Thoughts askew and twisted like twigs.  

Mania, depression, and psychosis sleep together.
Producing a break out of pandemonium.
Exulting energy, dejection, and voices taunt.
A battle within that seems to haunt.

Medication and therapy, tools of aid.
Will tackle hell’s disorder and put it in Pandora's box.
Be wary and do not open it no matter what.
Or the symptoms will crawl over every inch of your skin.

Put the pain in the past because you can still live your life.
You can work a 9 to 5, go on hikes, travel, and ride a bike.
What is something you look forward to? They always ask.
I sigh and answer: freedom.
You’ll get through this!
Parker  Mar 2018
Schizoaffective
Parker Mar 2018
It started with a single voice
Telling him to jump off the roof
Now, his head is full of voices
and as far as I know, they are all cruel

It started with a single voice
Now, one of them has replicated me
Convincing him that I have wronged him
Giving no power to my actual voice

It started with a single voice
Now, he believes everyone attempts to **** him
That the world is conspiring against him
That his thoughts have the power to take lives

It started with a single voice
Now, he sleeps in a locked monitored room
Drugged up with anti psychotics
Angry and confused
Over the last year and a half I watched as schizophrenia consumed everything my little brother had going for him, Causing him more mental suffering then I have ever see anyone experience. Watching the pain of his condition ******* my family and his future has left me at odds with my own journey. Just a for warning, my brothers predisposition was ignited by him trying lsd. You never know how much you cherish your loved ones being of sound mind until they're gone.
Jamie L Cantore Mar 2017
I walk into class.
I am alone there...
Because I like
To get to places
Early. I wait for
Group to begin.
People start
Rolling in.

We all all say
Hi and Hello
How are you
And you and
You? All is
Well we each
Say out of
Politeness:
But really,
None of
Us are.
That is why
We attend
Group.

Each of us
Are damaged
In some way,
Or just have
A void in our
Lives. We each
Have a diagnosis,
Or two, or so.

So class begins
Late every day
Like clockwork,
And then it
Takes the entire
Session for one
Person to say
A few things
About themselves,
And we have
A few moments
To make comments
If the counselor
Allows any
Opinion but
Her own be
Expressed.

And then it's
Break time
And we all
Smoke our
Chosen
Poison because
It is scientifically
Proven that most
People with say,
Schizophrenia
Or Schizoaffective
Disorder or Bipolar
Disorder, (any type,)
Are addicted to nicotine
Because our nicotinic
Receptors are out of
Whack.

Then it's back to class,
Which starts late again
And another person
Gets a moment to share
Their uncertainty about
Their lives. And I have
To sit there with the
Answer in my head,
Because I am not
Allowed to speak
Anymore. I was
Told one too many
Times by the
Class that I
Make too
Much sense
To be a group
Member, and
Should teach
The class.

The counselors
Always hate
That sort of
Thing. They really
Hate it when you
Psychoanalyze
Them. Group
Is helpful, despite
It's many short-
Comings. Well,
I guess I better
Continue going,
Because I don't
Want to miss
Out on Jack's
Repeated *******'
About how Jill
Won't listen,
Or how Humpty
Can't lose weight
Despite a balanced
Diet. You know the
Type... A Diet Coke
In one hand, and a
Snickers bar in the
Other. We are all        
     UnBaLaNcE
                           d.
JaxSpade  Jul 2019
Foresight
JaxSpade Jul 2019
When I die
And the earth cries
I'll be seeing without eyes

In the blindest dream
Maybe I'll realize

Real eyes have no need
Floating in white light
I'll see the prisms of my Gods

A new spectrum of colors called
New life

I'm goin' to crystalize
Into a body I've
Never put on
But dreamed about
When I
Was alive

When I cried
My neurological
Schizoaffective
Illusions of blue skies
Fell upon my hide

I hid behind my flesh
After ******* the breast
As a babe into adult lust
I died

Everything I've ever needed
Wasn't where I breed in

It was in a peace too far above
A homosapiens confabulation
Where the memories disintegration
Fade into the past of relations
That never mattered
Too much

When I die
The payment of what it cost
For a Gods Son to save mine

Will belie
The worth of what I
Became
            For sight
Patrick Harrison  Jul 2020
Cut Me
Patrick Harrison Jul 2020
You care about only a few things.
The odd specific details in our
encounters with one another,
how you become so entranced
by the wind; how I'm sometimes insane.

Is my insanity worth the few moments
you spend happy with who I am?
Are the lapsing courses of impending
schizoaffective illness scary to only me?

It seems you're a different type of crazy.
Not a starving artist- not unlike one either
though. I wonder if it may be inside your head
as you watch me, watching you.

I'll break the poetic rambling, poetic romancing
and tie myself to the tree that is the wind flickering
across your hair, beveling your face in the morning
light as we walk, and you talk about your dreams.

Do you know anything about the nightly terror?
The slow and collapsing waves of the mind as
they reflect on horrid dilapidation, horrid existence?
I wonder as you wonder if I wonder too.

Oh! The saint has called upon the regal
battleground of Illinois to deliver me
a message of utmost sincerity and
inner-beauty. A quaint "I love you."

You ask me if I could ever be less
complicated, non complacent. And
you also ask me a million other things
I dare not answer, I would never answer.

You entertain the idea that inside my irreverence
there is some hidden truth or holy gospel undelivered
by your poetry books and your indie rock bands.
I can't see past the orange highlights in your hair.

How beautiful! What marvelous features on your
face, what exquisite traipsing lust! Sometimes
I disgust even myself with the utter health
of my persistent reeling comments on vanity.

And I suppose it seems quite blank and dim.
I mean to never have a single fear.
I see that you have become kind of slim;
the way you hurt yourself is what I leer.
Would you ever be kind enough to stop?
I don't think that you understand my plea.
You stand in the center of my dad's shop.
But I can see that you are just a flea.
A passing wave on my own separate sea.
I was writing a sonnet until you-
lost my train of thought by
cutting yourself. Can't you see?
Can't you see?

Nothing matters so why believe-
in someone who you'll barely see?
Maybe twice a week I'll entertain you.
Maybe twice a week a shaded hue
will fall to stop my clue-
less heart as it bursts.
I am cursed.
I am cursed.

So, I'll bear the weight as I watch the way the
red scar, jagged runs along your pale neck
as you undress, your v neck dress.

I'll see your perfect figure in every glass
and every reflected tabletop, my dear.
Chicago has killed you.

And every party-
every piece of sanity
is useless, hopeless.
As every man-
every other lover
is just as mindless.

I wish that-
with you I
could complete-
a thought-
maybe without
the stutter-

but with beauty
comes a sincere-
scarily closing
portion of my
chest.
A lapsing
wave as I-
proclaim
to never
breath again.
nvinn fonia  May 24
Untitled
nvinn fonia May 24
Clozapine is an FDA-approved atypical antipsychotic medication for treatment-resistant schizophrenia. Clozapine is not the first-line drug of choice due to its range of adverse effects, making compliance an issue for many patients. However, clozapine also has some advantages, including lowering the risk of suicide and tardive dyskinesia and fewer relapses. Regarding suicide risk, clozapine has been demonstrated to reduce suicidal behavior even in non-treatment-resistant schizophrenia and patients with schizoaffective disorder. This activity reviews the mechanism of action, adverse event profile, toxicity, dosing, pharmacodynamics, and monitoring of clozapine pertinent for members of the interprofessional team where this agent is indicated.

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