**** seductive sensual serene super!
Open optimistic orbital original!
Mesmeric moral magnanimous mine!
Emotional exciting empath electric!
Obliging outstanding orator ohh ohh!
Natural naughty neat nice nourishing!
Excellent ****** effusive exceptional!

J.C. honey-tiger 28/05/2019

My baby feeds to me
foods of love
coats my lips
with sweet honey
drips
love
off his
finger tips
his tongue
warm wet sticky
explores my mouth
kisses
little bites
***** & licky
my love
my honey-bee
my honey-honey
gifts me warm
green tea kisses
green tea
mix with honey
makes the sticky
a little runny
his warm
wet
mouth
his fingers
and curious tongue
persist
insist
with love
slow dancing
in my mouth
too delicious
to resist
industrious
my honey-bee
my honey-honey
meticulous
he kisses
licks
*****
clean
all the honey
my honey-bee
my baby baby
my honey honey...

J.C. honey-tiger 25/05/2019

Hummingbird hummingbird
you are so sweet
with wings kept at constant beat
tiny legs to weak to stand
80 beats per second is your command
In sonic rapidity you do entrance
all who see & hear this magical dance

J.C. honey- owl 01/06/2019

PRELUDE
________
[ I would engage but disengaged
enamoured masked fetid cage.
To sit spit splutter to cough it up
spit it all out
all over the pensive penners page
words turned ugly fugly loves pup ]
_________

Alla allua all al alala allis all is
Well that blends the well,
Wait! Wait!
(bit nipply in here)
nope that's not quite it, try,
All is ill that bends will..ok
One more go,
All is well that ends well
Right?   rite!  write? ok, ok,
this has been happenin for days,
pen sieves    
spent    
spinning lines
All over the place,

Whirling dervishes spinning fine
lines crossing, sparkling, in my kind
mind, finds the bind, blinds, then unbinds
Better yet     Get    in     behind
(Aussie shepherds call out)
Oh holy **** dressed up like a duck
Ok..I got this, really I do,
let's seem to find a seam take two,
better yet...mark it...scene set & action!

Bn California dreamin
stealin,
creamn,
little kittys pretty
Vannah & Clementine
their morning rituals feeding lines
a ***** pushing
faucet fed H20
odd observations
one kink 4 kitty cat
prefers to take her water right on tap
still my keys go  
tap   tap   tap
Queen Vannah aloof saunters to lap
to sit to think,
not counter fed drink,
she's way too cool for school,
what were we talking about?
it gets little hard to think
you standing naked
smiling
by the kitchen sink

Ahhhhh...love..the emotions spout,
refer crazy prior lines
fed by loves fire,
tossing feelings
up,
down,
in and out,
twist it,
turn it, up, down
shake it out

there is love of lovers,
there is love of mothers,
there is love of others,
sisters, cousins, friends, brothers
those kind of others
the cliché would say...
"It finds you when you stop seeking"
or,
"expect it when you least expect it"
usually historically my reply maybe,
yawn -
mass conditioning speaking

funny tho how things work out,
how someone says
"how you feeling"
transmutes transcends
to not ok...
then,
just flat out ascends
to big bursting clouds  
bountiful love reeling in,
from a kind word uttered
love
begins,
again

the hearts flower slowly opens
it's the hope
love carries upon it's soft
scented breeze,
it's the joy
love communicates
whilst on her knees,
and the tenderness
felt between them
she, he, the we,
in the squeeze

bunches of fist clutched sheets
bitten lips my heartbeat
thundering in my head
language of panted moans
native to our bed
fingers pressed
the the back of your head
your features lost
between my legs


ahhhh, yes, yes, yes!
loves steady heartbeat
the     thrum    thrum      thrum
wondrous beating
upon loves drum,
and how each new fresh
transformative experience
of love
transcends the past,
as again we relish,
the skipped beats
warm moistened seats,
the play the foray
a new wave way

as sweetly tendered lovely love,
delivers up finely sublime
all soaked delicious
steeped in rhyme,
that elusive now found,
brighter sunny day.
so, to end, what of love?
well,
Id say,
let it play,
oh all for lovely love,
let it play!

J.C. "honey owl" 28/04/2019.

Honest sweet intuition
feel no dark
in her good mind
grow more silent
to listen with my tear
is warm comfort.

J.C. honey-tiger  01/06/2019

gratitude #2

gratitude
an adjustment
of attitude
does not denote
lassitude
or even servitude

thankfulness
over
wankfulness
appreciation
doesn't mean
supplication
subjugation
or
capitulation

A little tolerance
is a lovely thing
A little kindness
over boxing in the ring

being human
regardless of numen
just us humans
being
humane

compassionate
kind
benignant
over
ignorant
m­e me me me
single minded
******* in ego
binded
and so
blinded

sometimes
we need reminded
to be gentle
not necessarily
sentimental
just clement
all...

A little tolerance
is a beautiful thing.

© J.C. 28/08/2019.

you told me you loved me
you told me "you are mine"
you told me you'd love me forever
you told me "you belong to me"
you told me I was your alpha & your omega
you told me "you are why I was born a man, to love you"
you told me you were going to marry me
you told me "I can never love another now"
you told me you'd never let me leave you
you told me "I'll put you in a box in the ground, before I'll let you go"
you told me you'd never hurt me
you told me "I'm going to **** you"
you told me you loved me.

love is not ownership
love is not obsession
love is not violence
love is not suppression
love is not breaking bones
love is not silence
love is not feeling alone

you saw me like you see
one of your treasured
first editions
a thing to show off
to brag about
to your mates
a thing to pick up
and put down
to keep locked up
to covet
a thing you own.

I loved you
when you were
my loving lost boy of the morning
I loved you
when at loves first bloom
you were sweet
passionate
gentle
kind
I loved you
when you made me feel safe
I loved you
before the strong arms
that held me close
broke my bones
and broke my heart
broke my faith
and tore it all apart.

J.C.

The rain is broken
it no longer works
no longer lulls me a bye
to sleep
it beats out a new rhythm
one that has me tossing
turning
not sleeping
instead
it beats your name out
to me
relentlessly
reminding me
how I ache for you
as if I'd forget
you are in me now
living in me
in my breaths
in my heartbeats
inescapable
as the rain beats on
I hear you whisper my name

J.C. honey-tiger 22/08/2019. 5.55am

Bad habit

the moment
you first sprinkled stardust
in my hair
tenderly
caressed my cheek
the husky morning light
throwing faint shadows
bed sheets scattered
hearts caught
by surprise
then shattered
into shimmering bright
as pre dawn
had me forlorn
lost in your
sweat
my tears
kissed away
your tongues mixology
feeding back to me
my tears and my ***
breeding blending
alchemical lust
the birth of
a bad habit
born out of
a good love
this little bird
stuck
in your gilded cage
would become
locked out by
your inner rage
as madness descended
four lives upended
passion
fighting the good fight
biting back against the strain
of this bad bad habit
loves first bloom
birds singing
before the sun rose
you tearing down
all my defences
raw desire
the fire the fire the fire
in your *****
becoming my ******
scribing incantations
secret spells
of love
of dreams
of wanting
with your ***
on my belly skin
glistening in the
early morning sun
when did the love
mutate to ownership
passion became obsession
your misbelief
my imagined transgressions
tearing the silk at its seams
then on your knees
begging to
redeem redeem redeem
too many heartbeats too late
the light snuffed out
stuffing the ****
in loves spout
sweet turned bitter now
just spit it all out
loves lamb slaughtered
throat cut and bleeding out
spitting my teeth on the floor
of our house built on 'love'
feeling my jaw crack splinter
under the strong hands
that once held me "safe'
'loved' me
wed me
then bled me
dry of all hope
love hanging
choked on the rope
kicking me
to pieces
and me
kicking this
bad bad habit

clean.


J.C. littlebird 03/07/2019

From ******* sweet tips
and curve of hip
milky thighs and sighs
of feminine mystique

Its the inner sighs, smiles
and why's,
the mothers touch
that heals so much
the loving reach,
across the breech,
soothes woes of man
she is Woman.

J.C. 09/03/2019

When the clock does tick tock
It does wake you again
in flood the rivers awash
with slithers and withering dreams
of unbidden monsters
counting unpealed screams

it's time to drown slowly
it's time to run fast
no matter her pace never
to outrun the past

filled with earth flavoured
bon bons and beach scented lies
all faithful young child slighted
by his hunters knife

it's a coat of the forest and
a gown of dead leaves
in these sad deathly hallows
my soul he did bleed.

J.C. 13/03/2019 3.30am

Golden silence unbroken...

After the thick fog lifts
Having muffled then muted
all of the nights sounds
and the dawns quiet sun rises
dusting golden light
on moistened leaf and petal
golden rays emanate
through exaggerated dew drops
silent morning not quite broken
the pea soup chased fauna away
and the hushed cold pre-dawn
keeps all a slumber
not a sound to be heard
not a bird in flight
or a single dampened leaf
trod on silent forest floor
as golden rays strike
through dew laden branches
casting patterns of dappled
golden sparkling light
all around.....
but to be heard or found....
not one single sound...

J.C. honey-tiger 06/05/2019.

she's falling down
at steps first stumble
toddlers bumps
a little egghead
learning curves
rough and tumble
she's falling down
from maypoles swing
bodies flung in air
the rush in the ring
flying free no care
she's falling down
sliding into base
jumping hurdles
and sheep
to win the race
she's falling down
the rabbit hole
tied to a tree
by a monster
childhood stolen
innocence broken
at 12 years old
no longer carefree
she's falling down
bending her mind
and space
trying to reclaim
in this world
sense of belonging
longing
to find her place
she's falling down
seeking love of
that one true other
crossing off each one
from the list
as just another lover
she's falling down
as monetary wealth
status
possesions
build up
still running on empty
is true loves cup
she's falling down
she's found him
to true love led
for too short a moment
her true love
suddenly at 21 dead
she's falling down
another monster
comes knocking
life's cruel jokes
leave her reeling
and rocking
she's falling down
as she gets up again
broken faith in man
has her not knowing
where to turn
she's falling down
another lover
one loved true dies
too young
heart bursting
with grief with sighs
nots furled tight in why's
she's falling down
married in love
never felt so safe
before
til she's crawling
the halls
spitting teeth on the floor
she's falling down
keeping it tight
to herself
resigned to the safety
of life on the shelf
she's falling down
been solitudinal
a long time
secure in loneliness
lost in her own rhyme
she's falling down
he's raising her up
loving care
sweet and tender
true communication
of love
fills up at last
true loves cup
she's pulling herself
back up.

© J.C. 25/09/2019.

It's the vibration of you
carrying love clear to see
the resonance of two
aligned, us, we, you + me

balance found
the surprising delight of
newly trod fertile ground
the ways we relate
openly communicate
unbinds joy limitless,
and so it abounds

the warmth of your belly skin
against my cheek laid dear
tender caresses do begin
with your warmest embraces
as you draw me in closer, near

breath carried tiny kisses
infinite in number
bringing too
a newly found peace
I am content and renewed
curled in your arms to slumber

emotional landscapes
painted in hues of affection
open hearts open minds
receptive & kind
no need of deflection

or even protection
safe, warm, happy at peace
to discover this sweeter love
and  true loves release.

J.C. honey-tiger 15/06/2019.

PRELUDE
_
[ I would engage but disengaged
enamoured masked fetid cage.
To sit spit splutter to cough it up
spit it all out
all over the pensive penners page
words turned ugly fugly loves pup ]
__

Alla allua all al alala allis all is
Well that blends the well,
Wait! Wait!
(bit nipply in here)
nope that's not quite it, try,
All is ill that bends will..ok
One more go,
All is well that ends well
Right?   rite!  write? ok, ok,
this has been happenin for days,
pen sieves    
spent    
spinning lines
All over the place

Whirling dervishes spinning
fine
lines crossing,
sparkling,
in my kind mind,
finds the bind,
blinds, then unbinds
Better yet     Get    in     behind
(Aussie shepherds call out)
Oh holy ****
dressed up like a duck
Ok..I got this, really I do,
let's seem to find a seam take two,
better yet...
mark it...scene set & action!

Bn California dreamin
stealin,
creamn,
little kittys pretty
Vannah & Clementine
their morning rituals feeding lines
a ***** pushing
faucet fed H20
odd observations
one kink 4 kitty cat
prefers to take her water right on tap
still my keys go  
tap   tap   tap
Queen Vannah aloof saunters to lap
to sit to think,
not counter fed drink,
she's way too cool for school,
what were we talking about?
it gets little hard to think
you standing naked
smiling
by the kitchen sink

Ahhhhh...love..the emotions spout,
refer crazy prior lines
fed by loves fire,
tossing feelings
up,
down,
in and out,
twist it,
turn it, up, down
shake it out

there is love of lovers,
there is love of mothers,
there is love of others,
sisters, cousins, friends, brothers
those kind of others
the cliché would say...
"It finds you when you stop seeking"
or,
"expect it when you least expect it"
usually historically my reply maybe,
yawn -
mass conditioning speaking

funny tho how things work out,
how someone says
"how you feeling"
transmutes transcends
to not ok...
then,
just flat out ascends
to big bursting clouds  
bountiful love reeling in,
from a kind word uttered
love
begins,
again

the hearts flower slowly opens
it's the hope
love carries upon it's soft
scented breeze,
it's the joy
love communicates
whilst on her knees,
and the tenderness
felt between them
she, he, the we,
in the squeeze

bunches of fist clutched sheets
bitten lips my heartbeat
thundering in my head
language of panted moans
native to our bed
fingers pressed
the the back of your head
your features lost
between my legs


ahhhh, yes, yes, yes!
loves steady heartbeat
the     thrum    thrum      thrum
wondrous beating
upon loves drum,
and how each new fresh
transformative experience
of love
transcends the past,
as again we relish,
the skipped beats
warm moistened seats,
the play the foray
a new wave way

as sweetly tendered lovely love,
delivers up finely sublime
all soaked delicious
steeped in rhyme,
that elusive now found,
brighter sunny day.
so, to end, what of love?
well,
Id say,
let it play,
oh all for lovely love,
let it play!

J.C. honey-tiger 02/07/2019

Duplicity...
Its messy oh yes
and when the hound
refuses to confess
at best refutes indignant
the treachery then significant
when its plainly calculated
evidence piles up, saturated
deceit creeps in sideways
lies lay down on the page
under the guise of "oh so sage"
throwing up hands in mock rage
what to say? what to do?
stoop down there in your dirt
scoop it up to expose you?
or just let it slide slither
like your shed snake skin
to wither on dry forked tongue
ethics loose and low hung
to fade away for another day
of "oh woe"
no one around to stroke your ego!
oh yes I know how it rolls
that two faced scene
been read and it is obscene
professing elevation
but disdain is the revelation
caught in the trap
fly to Venus
or just to spew up vile bile
most heinous...
to speak of love is one thing
to act with love another
lip service cheap
served up on tap flowing
when the yeasts not risen
open the oven not knowing
and it falls flat on its face
finds you amidst a schism
not of your making
just a set-up
ripe for the taking
well, I guess,
I do digress
crux of the matter is
no time for duplicity
my roll is with loyalty
so all this messy messed up prose
just too obtuse
for those who stick up their nose.

J.C. honey-tiger 25/05/2019.

so much to say
too much to do
much ado
bout what to do
sleeps veil has fallen
from my eyes
it's getting very old
she sighs she sighs
a tale retold too many times
a tale claiming
too many rhymes
spit it up, spit it all out
drag it out quiet
or let it spill loud shout
I'd stuff it back in
if it'd behave and stay
just to quiet the din
but it must have its say
steady rhythm of rain
beating on down
the soundtrack to pain
instead of the drown
tock tick tick tock
of the backwards clock
as time hurtles back
on a helter skelter lock
journey there is fast
but the bide there is slow
locked in vortex past
unable to make the gears go
ephialtes holds me static
no matter how fierce I fight
illusions found erratic
suspirium for dawns light
it's ok it's ok
I'm alright I'm alright.

J.C. baby-owly 15/08/2019 3.40am.

The Kiss

Blissfully lost in you
the wetness
inside your mouth
matches the
rhythmic rain
falling
for you
in a city doorwell
this kiss is
The Kiss
by which all kisses
must forevermore
be measured
we persist
oblivious
to the 9-5'er passers-by
never have I been
so beautifully kissed
time dissolves
stars align as
our kiss blossoms
evolves
lips locked
in bliss
hearts set free
in this moment
forever I'm yours..

©J.C.


(An older poem written many years ago)

Its in the beats
the in betweens
staccato breaths
the staggered sighs
all nots are slipped
liberating why's
as pulses thrum
cheeks do flush
loves rhythmic drum
obeys no rush
gifting time to the need
on gentle knees
supersaturation
feed crystals seed
fractal light ignites
behind my eyes
glistened drops of light
unbinds sinewed ties
all felt in between
the pumps and beats
our rising passion
turns up the heat
fused together
dissolving walls
time cracks and shivers
as fervent breaths rise
to sighs ecstatic falls

J.C. 11/09/2019.

It is Maori language week here in NZ, so...

Ko te ahua o taku aroha

He ngawari taku aroha
Ka pupuhi nga puawai ngawari
i runga kahui puna mahana
Kei te takaro toku aroha
he matotoru
kopikopiko i roto i te tito aroha
Ko taku aroha he ra raumati
takai te kare
ite marama me te mahana
Aroha katoa ahau
te kotahi te honi pi
huri noa i ahau i roto i toku ngakau
~~~~~~~*~
and in translation..

The nature of my love

my love is gentle
soft petals blown
on a warm spring breeze
my love is playful
a tender tickle
enveloped in a loving tease
my love is a summer day
wrapped in emotion
clearly felt and warm
my love is all for you
the one true honey-bee
as around my heart you swarm.

J.C. honey-tiger 09/09/2019.

rest slips
sleeps
loosely tied nots
the chasm yawns
as slumber lost
its easy to
forgive
what we forgot
the brain debrides
a sleepless rot
seeps in quiet
at first
then like a riot
logic process bursts
a mind full food
sleep nourishes deep
mistress of mood
our sanity she keeps
night
after
night
spooled reels unroll
an endless thunder
amassing its tolls
in joyless wonder
I'm all rite I'm all write
lip maneuvers say
one more haunted night
feeds
one more daunted day.

J.C. baby-owly-owl 23/08/2019 5.05am.

Picking wild roses
lavender
and mint
a bird on the wing
homeward
bound in stems
steeped
and cooled
summer tisanes
from the garden
a little honey
on the tongue
imparts
fragrant
sweet joy
of life

J.C.

do you feel me?
in the yawning chasm
of space
that's opened up
like a deep wound
between us.

do you feel it?
the gnawed pain
that's consumed
my heart
or what remains
of it.


c.J.C.

satellite skies (3 months of love)

satellite soaked skies
stars to unknowing eyes
crossed moonbeams
not quite as they seem
a mistaken cosmic sign
astral bodies do align
our bodies do align

starbursts on leavened tides
I see it as nebulae collide
star to star you + me
the colours my eyes do see
hues myriad your love gifts me

eyes closed sighs aflame alight
you're burning me up so bright
as nebulae collide this night
setting my skin on fire
untempered desire

you
you
you
my love
set all the stars to collide
love shine crystalline in your eyes

infinite fires burn in my heart
our love stands a universe apart
you loved me back from deep gloom
this love is no love in a vacuum

J.C. honey-baby 25/2019

When is karma
as anger rises
or we become
Calmer

When is karma
when we fail the test
or is it when
we stand on one
to be higher than the rest

When is karma
as we tread with care
to not hurt another
or oblivious succumb
to the snake charmer

When is karma
when others look and jeer
or when happiness calls
we find our dearest dear
then they all draw near

When is karma
is it as I close last time
your beautiful eyes
or alone in the cold bed
at night I lie

When is karma
is it the perfect dawn
of a perfect cold day
as I wake all safe and warm
when new true love is in play

J.C. honey-tiger 03/06/2019

take me -
fervent
your voice
breathe me in
- I need you -
growled quietly
against my skin
causing
vellus erectile
the fever to begin
tongues tip tease
dragged on belly skin
lengthy peregrination
until caresses appease
aching yet never wanting
these sensations to abate
to reach the culmination
be settled and satiated
inner storms begin
as fault lines shiver
then start to crack
each kiss you deliver
tongue untied tripping
the light fantastic
slowly down my back
cumulonimbus burst
pulse thunders in my head
those fault line breaths
feed the rumble
and shake of our bed
tremors begin
amid the toss and tumble
the gentle earthquake
starts
raising shiver to shudder
tremble quiver & shake
twin beating hearts
as the world dissolves
breaking down my walls
brick by brick
my honey
gives such visceral
real love - baby
this no simulacrum trick
climactic colours fulminate
kaleidoscopic
behind my eyes
when you draw out
deep ******* sighs.

J.C. honey-baby 02/08/2019

The super flower moon is shining
golden through my window as
I lie in bed catching moonbeams
dancing over my bed
and glinting in my eye
I am thinking of you

I am thinking of you
and aching deep within my core
knowing you are sleeping
an ocean and a day between us
as we share dreamtime
under the glisten and glimmer
of the super flower moon

© J.C.

when I see you
petting your beloved cat
and the new big fluffy one
who recently adopted you
cat whisperer that you are
it's not exactly envy
that comes over me
yet I can't help it
when I see
your wonderful hands
in caress
but wish
they were stretching and bending
stroking and tickling
me
discovering
all my hidden places
that when caressed
make me purr

When the hands of time
get lost in the rhyme
when they pull you back back
and space does crack crack
it's torment in a truckloads ride
with fraught mind nowhere to hide


it's the real life boogey man
showing you just how he can
take you down down in one blink
then sleep is here & on the brink
of hell you teeter totter pirouette
the curtains shut the scene is set


back back you hurl back in time
to the darkest days & the darker nights
it's the ice cream truck that never comes
it's the cold blades glint as warm blood runs
it's the sun shining just over there
it's the monster creeping ever near


when the sun won't rise fast enough
his smooth skin hands bring the rough
and the dance won't stop only the clock
frozen in time backwards tock tick tock
it's the sickening taste of copper & dirt
& knife slices are the least of the hurt


when the scars dont heal just remain
it's the constant bleed the lingering pain
of a child's heart broken & left to rot
it's never enough & its an awful lot
see the world dissovle see trust rust
feed the need inside the want the must
try to grasp on tight a filament of hope
or contemplate swinging rough rope


it's these lines bleeding all over the place
searching seeking a familiar warm face
is it giving in or is it reaching out
or just more my sickened pen to spout
even after he's long & cold in earth deep
it's the knowing I am his forever to keep
my stolen child my innocence my hope
the faint scars left in skin of rough hewn rope.

J.C. 05/06/2019.

3am once again
pushing out the crumpled corners
unfolding
the fabric of time
unfurling
its cold arms
then wrapping me
in its icy embrace
tightly
nightly
instinctively
I reach out for your sleeping form
seeking
hoping
to feel your arms instead
wrapping around me
tightly
warm
the empty sighs
of the empty side
of the bed moan back
the rain
hammers on outside
assaulting my windows
making the want deeper
feeding the ache
in my *****
the need to feel you
filling me up
with your body
with your love
3am
once again.

© J.C. honey-tiger 21/08/2019. 3.33am.

cold
fingers of sticky tar
pressing on
pressure down
a deep dark well
echo chamber
the girl child's sobs
shaken at the throat
his laughter
how he
gloats gloats gloats
cold
steely glinted blades
pressing down
pressure on
a chamber
made of dank air
warm trickle
ruddy blood
mixed with muddy moss
his laughter
gleeful
at her loss loss loss
cold.

J.C. 25/11/2019 - 3.40am

coasting at the coast
cape runaway
beckons
just past the breaks
summer morning vista
seen from our bed
through sleepy
summer holiday eyes
still
I can see the foam
crashing on the rocks
that feed the churn
between the capes landfall
and rocky outcrop

I remember the thrill
first time I steered us
around those rocks
the strong current pulling
and rocking the boat
you too ******
to navigate us safely
first time I'd driven the boat
I remember
the powerful engines(2 twins)
straining against
the undertow
trying to pull us into
a rocky jagged death
you were oblivious
kept sliding your hand up my thigh


I could feel the bow
dipping toward the crag
then the boat being tossed
toward equally rocky foreshore
it was a push me pull you dance
you blissfully ignorant
hammered
reaching for another cold one
one hand trying to find a way
inside my shorts

I remember
having to put it in reverse
full throttle
then cut it quick
to roll out of the pit
with the flow of the undertow
then gun it to clear water

I remember
being mesmerised
enticed
by the eddied
turbulent water

I remember
thinking
I could just let it go
and dive overboard
alone
a strong sea swimmer
trained surf life saver

I remember
looking
seeing
the path through the rips
counting the beats
between the crashing waves
knowing
I could easily make it
alone


I'd swum through pain before
my shoulder still burned
you almost ripped it
out of the socket
my fingers traced the lump
and fissure
under my hair line
where you'd smashed my head
into the wooden door frame
over
and
over
your fist a handful
of my hair
seeing stars and tweety birds
tasting blood
from biting my lip
and my tongue
staying on my feet
refusing to crumple
before you


Christmas night
before we left for the coast
boxing day morning
at 6am


I remember
thinking

I don't love you anymore

I remember
thinking

youve made
a slaughterhouse
of our love

I remember
thinking
I'm better than you
than this urge
to hurt you back
so you'd understand
how deep you hurt me

I remember
thinking
I don't want to be like you
and steering us
both
safely home.

J.C. 13/09/2019. 12.22 am (Friday 13th)

there'll be
no saving it
not any
the entire orb
overloaded
toxins too many
coadsorb
supersaturated
then abraded
gone far too bye
alas too late
to buy time back
no turnaround
11th hour saving
or magical miracle
in denial of why
our planets health
status - critical

we did
what we did
yes we did
mine
blast
pollute
shift axis
misuse & abuse
bleed her dry

it is mans(kind)
turn for him
be to wither
carbon nation
in degradation
rock stars erosion
chemical illusions
a weathering of time

Mother earth
will rejuvenate
do (the) over time
yielding to years
millions (billions?)
once more
but...only....if... then...
sans **** sapiens
a non negotiable must

torpid audience enervate
we (manunkind)
made the earth
into 'progresses' *****
pimped her out
for a TV dinner
a 100 inch flat screen
a remote control life
instant gratification
homologating toxic emissions
no ratification
given by nature
override permissions
ego over easy
(supersize default position)
greed gone greasy


not today
not tomorrow
not next year
not
100 years from now
but in a time
long after you
long after me
when we and
our offspring
(& theirs & theirs...)
long dead too
earth will reset herself
hostile to human life
yes **** sapiens
lease on this fractured land
will for sure expire
but the planet will regenerate
and survive
destructions fire

©J.C.

mother earth will have the last laugh...

passion desire love
and where they take us
past the point
that can almost break us
revealed true selves
to never fake 'us'
lean into the bruise
becomes the soothe
trust freely given
defies the ruse
then you were gone
so begin the rues...
not to regret
never to forget
upturn the stage
to make it reset
it lingers long
after the sting is gone
the memory of your kiss
your teeth lips
your fingertips grip
Is it you, or is it that me
that I cry for and miss?

© J.C.

I once was something
that I am not now
too much shock
to the system
caused a retreating
away from the world
into myself

A solitudinarian
while my systems
shut down
preparing to reboot

a cocooning occurred
followed by
metamorphosis
then transformation
reordering of
damaged cells
damaged goods
a regeneration
following
the assasination
of my juvenescense
by his malefic mind

6 years
living in the jar
hermetically sealed
spinning silken threads
around myself
tears hardening the shell
impenetrable
invisible
making myself small quiet
wanting to be unwanted
looking to be unnoticed
retired from a life not yet begun
necessity for survival
dictated the state of play
all the while thinking feeling
questioning
then throwing away
all my mislaid assumptions
my mantra

* I want to be happy
a happy life
I will not let him have it
my life is mine
my joy is mine
my freedom is mine
he has taken enough
I am taking happiness back *

an unremarkable day
the day I woke up
revivified
able again to draw a full breath
without flinching
without waiting
for his reaction
I ran in the park barefoot
I swam in the ocean
laying on the beach after
toes in the warm sand
the sun drying me
free
a child again renewed

J.C. honey-tiger 16/08/2019. 4.44am.

Am I awake or am I dreaming?..
'reality' can be misleading
So let's strip it down
Take it back to source
Soul searching - √ (tick) done
It's pivotal(pineal?)
Of course!
Je pense donc je suis
Of that I'm sure
Hold on...dreaming? Awake?
Unsure once more
Come on _ give me a break!
Oh lordy Lou my brain is Swiss cheese
Misfiring synapse perhaps?
Brain freeze?
Relapse?
Deja Vu?
Phew!
Methinks (not again!) I am _ am I?
Or just overloaded jeez
Did someone mention cheese?
Yum yum __ yes please!
Hmmm more likely I just need
A summer holiday nap!

J.C. "little meep" 25/04/2019.

It's one of those days
in no good way I'm shaking
from deep in my core
I'm shaking
been yelled at hissed at
It's one of those days
in no good way I'm weeping
from deep in my core
I'm weeping
been spat on shat on
it's one of those days
too much to do too undone to do it
got rained on nay hailed on
beaten up by nature man and
the universe
It's one of those days
told I write ****** verse
many expletives used to curse
Ok I give up
roll in the hearse
it's one of those days
I get it I'm a *******
for human consumption not fit
so pass me over on me spit
it's one of those days.
toss me aside I'm just anti matter
a toying thing emotions scatter
while you're there put the boot in too
It's one of those days
make me oil at your service
go on, go ahead I deserve it
for daring to breathe to even think it
for opening up then believing
it's one of those days.

J.C. honey-tiger 13/06/2019.