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247 · Sep 2022
off axis
Jayne E Sep 2022
it's cold here
in the shade
of your waning love
blue moon bruises
of the heart
left to rot
like fruit in the bowl
as the gnarl in my stomach
tightens
dark matters knot
to a widow black hole

© J.C.
245 · May 2019
The Last Guard
Jayne E May 2019
The Last Guard

He is valiantly soft persisting
the last guard he stands resisting
My lone cicada holds post fast
As summers last day has now past

His rhythmic chirp my metronome
reminding me I am in his home
as if he knows my need of him
he lingers firm not upon a whim

It signals me my place is small
in the greater scheme of natures all
his droning songs feed every verse
I know I'm dust speck in this universe

The time to take, to bleed our home
of all Her bounty her fertile loam
has long since expired now so will She
if we do not stop the bleed, let her be

It well may be too late as is the case
As 'man' frantic sets off on space race
Seeks out a new fresh and outer world
To what? Again his poison gas unfurl?

If we have killed her slayed our Mother
beyond the point of lasting recover
harsh it may seem but our bed we made
now lie in it is our future paved and laid.

For my children's children I do softly cry
teach them, beseech them to know why
our lovely Mother is coming fast undone
man will lose it all until remains no one.

We failed her failed indeed to set aside
our hunger and greed sure did override
now my last cicada stays to remind me
it's his home too nature will outlive "we"

J.C. honey-tiger 06/05/2019.
241 · May 8
losing you
Jayne E May 8
Losing you
before you died
was almost as hard
as saying goodbye

almost

when logic & reason
slipped the knot
& your beautiful mind
was left to rot

the fading in
and fading out
your stellar confidence
now scattered with doubt

your light would flicker
a dwindling flame
deep blue eyes searching
but still losing my name

it went on like this
bleeding out hope each day
fleeting lucidity until
all bright faded away

your crystal blue eyes
still lovely but now dulled
death room waiting agony
as your life slowly annulled

I miss you still deeply
after all these years
& the pain you suffered
still draws gnarled tears

©J.C.
Mother Death brain cancer intermittent dementia:(
Jayne E Aug 2019
softly spoken
he and me
gentle
kind
always our
vibrations aligned
in smooth
rythym
we
syncopate
to each others
peaks
and
f
  a
     l
       l
         s
a binding occurs
smoothened
signalling
on rippled water
from pebbles dropped
moonlight dances
on repeat
repeat
shimmery light
in perfect oscillation
undulating
with varifocal
denotation

* * * *

nebulae burst
high above
as if
to celebrate
this love
a coupling made
binary
orbiting stars
he is to me
my magnetar

~~
~~~~~

as for fresh pastures
lush new beginnings
blade upon blade
from fertile seed
lays a soft green
pathway
to true loves garden
where hearts are freed
past well trod paddocks
across faraway seas
where love lays waiting
on her gentle knees

* * * *

©J.C. tiger-baby 11/08/2019 4.44am
236 · Sep 2020
painterly
Jayne E Sep 2020
Of artists blocks
and charcoal pencils
lines drawn
blackened white
with hearts the stencil
gouache pastels
in dusted hues
smudged
whetted thumbs
by moistened lips
colours gently bruised
with fingertips
stroked by brushes
firm tipped certain
outside the frame
of loves drawn curtain
softly washed
in watercolour fade
the painter plays
loves serenade
emboldened strokes
in oils dramatic
his canvas laden
replete
climactic

© J.C.
235 · Oct 2019
holiness in the sighs
Jayne E Oct 2019
holiness heard
between the sighs
speaking in tongues
untied untithed
united bodies
fused in heat
god whispers
softly in my ear
says my name
your voice I hear
replete
replete
heaven revealed
behind my eyes
as fractal colours
burst within sighs
my love utters
prayers of devotion
elixirs mixing
to loves potion
dissolving walls
breaking ceilings
oh holy morning
our souls revealing

© J.C. 30/09/2019
****** synesthesia...love...
233 · Jun 2019
Bad dreams
Jayne E Jun 2019
Nights veil pulls back the misted past
no sleep found here no needed rest
you invade my dreamscape thick and fast
with sounds and images set to test

your scent wafts into my sleeping head
Unwell fingers carress unwilling skin
it's pain in truckloads stuck in my bed
with your sick desires my prison again

I strive I struggle to kick to the surface
free myself from your deathly embrace
feel the pulling of your unholy purpose
the need for breath becomes my race

memories mixing all sweet with the bitter
lured by false joys, sweet sugared lies
trapped in sleep my body jolts and jitters
my voice small whipmers, begs and cries

This landscape paints an unpretty scene
in shadows you watch as the films unspool
garbled words off your lips the tilt and lean
your cold smile flashing full and cruel

The one I loved the one who I trusted
you had my heart my devotion my love
tore it all down my passions all rusted
smashed it apart with iron ****** glove

Sleep, sleep, rest dreamless and heavy
I ache to drop like a stone in deep rivers
too many nights made my pain your levy
jolts awake shaking in cold sweats shivers.

J.C. 21/06/2019 4.30am.
Nightmares are common for me. They, nor the historical abuse I suffered, do not define me, just something I have to deal with at times.  This has been a long 'episode' of them lasting almost 2months of nightly bad dreams...
230 · Oct 2019
afternoon siesta
Jayne E Oct 2019
drifting in slumber
so close to you
I close my eyes
as your eyes close too
warm is my body
soft in repose
warm is your body
to feel you so close
losing myself
to dreamless sleep
gifting my heart
for you to safe keep
as you gift yours to me
unbound by a love
that sets us both free
so sleep my dear love
my love so dear
rest deep and peaceful
know I am always near

J.C.
224 · Jan 2020
honeyed love
Jayne E Jan 2020
Honeyed Love...

In your loving arms I can finally be
loved true loved deep and set free
from a past scarred deep by mistrust
took my love and he eroded it to dust

Here in your sweet loving embrace
as you set my heart to sing & race
your love flows over me like honey
turning my dark days to warm sunny

Within these short and simple lines
my hope is you'll pickup on my signs
tho' not sophisticated nor contrived
they signal my true love has arrived

Yes, my style is usually to embellish
but darling I want simply to relish
be immersed in your love so very good
finally love feels just as love should

off my body the clothes please rip
fingers & tongue do tantalisingly trip
finding my mouth, neck, belly, my ***
as all my senses you set to perplex

the lost key to my enigma machine
secret code you know what I mean
you unlocked unbroke my caged heart
how you love sets your love apart

I'd given up on finding love again
you are the soothe that let love in
I am ruined now for any other one
I am yours alone 'til all our days are done




It's true love,
our love true
has truly  won
honey love
you are
my one true one.




© J.C.
A little more 'simple' in structure and vocabulary than how I usually write, but when the feelings that are so deep and pure,  it just seemed right...
222 · Nov 2020
He found me...
Jayne E Nov 2020
he brings me peace
wrapped up in love
his love is tender sweet
we fit together as hand in glove

he knows just such
to soothe me right
and when I need his touch
to be strong with might

he found me blue
bruised petals torn
knew what to say and do
to chase away my forlorn

he has ruined me now
for any other ever
with the love he endows
a bond too strong to sever

he is more than a good man
my respect for him grows
depend upon him I can
as he can me he knows

the love he gives is so good
forever my heart his to keep
at last love manifest as it should
forever I am his little meep

© J.C.
220 · Apr 2021
Big love
Jayne E Apr 2021
I still have 100's of poems for you
they are stored in my heart
even when my notebook falls silent
and the pages yawn blankly white
it does not mean poetry has stopped
blossoming inside me
or that I no longer burn for you
sometimes it is so intense
this big love I have for you
it consumes me
consumes my words
renders me tongue tied
flushed
my heart beating
like a hummingbirds wings
caged in my chest
the catch in my throat
and the fall in the pit of my belly
my quickened pulse ticking wildly
at the back of my tongue
all of my senses on hyper alert
tuned to the pull of you
I wake up every morning
reaching for you
a hand draped over my hip
my fingertips and palm
seeking the fuzzy warmth
of your sleepy belly
willing you to be there
wiggling into the curve
of my sleeping body
you be the big spoon
if it's still dark
I can hold the illusion
keep my eyes closed
allow sleep to pull me back
into some kind of dream
that's not quite a dream
float in that space
we occupy together
when we are both sleeping
on opposite sides of the planet
space folds in on itself
I can feel you loving me
I can feel your warmth
I can feel your breath
on my skin
the spell is broken
as soon as the day breaks
as soon as you are awake
10,699 km's away
and starting your day.


©J.C.
2 years of loving you.
217 · May 2019
Firefly femme fatale
Jayne E May 2019
Alluring flashing fireflies
light up the evening sky
beware the tricky femme fatale
for if she lures you in
you're sure to die.
A perfect mimic predator
emits the mating signal awry
to entrap the unsuspecting and
randy male firefly
He approaches, saunters sideways
into her elaborate trap
oh no! Shes got you! 
now he's just a supper snack!

J.C. honey-tiger 31/05/2019.
I wrote this after seeing a nature documentary about animal mating rituals .
214 · May 2019
S.O.M.E.O.N.E.
Jayne E May 2019
S - ay my name and I melt dissolve
O - pen mind find my hearts resolve
M - e and you its written in the stars
E - ternally one now we never to part
O - ft knowing my words before I do
N - ever tiring of being on with you
E - nigmatic bright feeling lovely you..

J.C. honey-assassin 29/05/2019.
Ok so my beloveds 'online' name well one of his pseudonyms, is "someone".. Hence the poem...
212 · Sep 2019
storming
Jayne E Sep 2019
rain beats steady
on nights drum
feeding the rhythmic
thrum thrum thrum
infects dull vistas
with marcasite shine
thundered light
keeps metered time
marking
rumbled hallmarks
of sub tropical clime
as sleep eludes
may
the pen be fed
in solitude
sleepy eyes
sleepy head
chasing sleep
until
rains lullaby
soothes little meep.

J.C. "little meep" 08/09/2019 4.44am
206 · Sep 2019
Aurora Australis haiku
Jayne E Sep 2019
Aurora

* * * *
Green fire in night sky
oxygen excites takes flight
pulse racing hearts sigh

* * * *

J.C.
206 · Jun 2019
The surety of breath...
Jayne E Jun 2019
A friend once dear
told me what I now hold near
the one thing of which we can be sure
is the breath we breathe in out no more

I've thought on this many times
even when struggling with rhymes
to breathe for sure is to survive
but to live really live how to thrive?

lost in the dark the cold dark hell
for years I stumbled, I tripped, I fell
over past atrocities rained on as child
struggled with the hurting of one so mild

Years have passed not sure I'd claim wise
but, from the jaws of hell myself I prised
to search to find my bright sunnier day
again a few stumbles, bumbles on the way

Until finally the sun rose fierce and so warm
as around my heart honey-bees did swarm
as I look back now, the pain still very real
now joy too plays a part so happiness I feel

we can move past those pains carved deep
the injustices rained not needed to keep
imprisoned or freed the choice is mine
so keep breathing in out one breath a time

J.C. honey-tiger 03/06/2019.
204 · Jun 2019
Love in the afternoon
Jayne E Jun 2019
Sweet heart of mine
this is our zenith time
our halcyon days
filled with summer wines
from plump grapes on the vine
embraces most ardent
love taken under the sun
with you my lovely love

****** to Alcyone
your valored love
vanquished with great ease
all storms and high seas
lends peace to these our
passioned fields of adulation
no anchor to set ground
or landfall be found
for all else
but lovely loves love

my soft cheek I did press
to your devoted chest
you nuzzled at embonpoint breast
so tenderly at lovers rest
souls raised lofty on high
incandescent bodies in flight
made from pure golden light
lucent shimmering with bliss
we in union, none sweeter than this
you and I, my lovely love

I surrender, fervently I'm lost
in your deep eyes so intense
burnt amber depths of mercy
feed my soul no relent
bodies vibrant resonate as one
passional energy sparkling
runs through us with ardent intent
our love feels aeons old
never cold and none more bold
than this my lovely love

rolled tumbled tangled by waves
crashed and dashed under again
your body my beacon of shining light
renders me willingly tender your slave
unto you, my lovely love

For no peace can be made,
lest you set my body aflame
at passions peak call out my name,
all my wild fires beg to be tamed,
by you, my most lovely love.

at rest in lovers sweet embrace
body to body now interlaced
all my edged nerves now made still
drenched quenched by your elixir philtre
glistening sweet honeyed drops
dripped on hot skin sated all soft
is all that remains of our tenderest
afternoon filled with lovers delight
your head laid tender upon my breast
our eyes shining with loves light
my most lovely love.

J.C. honey-tiger 30/06/2019.
Jayne E May 2019
Summers morn in my garden
the red admirals all in flight
as they waft on a light breeze
wings catch sun a visual delight

Ive watched them morph
from chrysalis on swan plant
in my garden many grown
so delicate they do enchant

We call them monarchs
wings opaque fiery red
as I work over my garden
they flutter around my head

one lands on my shoulder
while I dig the hard ground
sits drying it's wings
just hanging around

does it know me as guard
of its fibrous womb
spun as diaphanous thread
until time comes to bloom

Breaking to fly free
from hard chrysalis shell,
a gift of true beauty
wings aloft high & well

delicate in wafting flight
mass migraters from
the Gulf of Mexico now
wouldn't that be a sight.

content for now with
this my quite lovely swarm
as I lie back eyes skyward
in the grass all soft, all warm.

J.C. honey-tiger 22/02/2019.
I grow swan plants in my garden have done for years now, the monarch, or red admiral caterpillars live this poisonous plant to.eat and make their chrysalis' on.  Its a delight when they hatch in Summer.
203 · Aug 2019
painterly love
Jayne E Aug 2019
Of artists blocks
and charcoal pencils
lines drawn
blackened white
with hearts the stencil
gouache pastels
in dusted hues
smudged by
whetted thumbs
from moistened lips
colours gently bruised
with fingertips
stroked by brushes
firm tipped certain
outside the frame
of loves drawn curtain
softly washed
in watercolour fade
the painter plays
loves serenade
emboldened strokes
in oils dramatic
his canvas laden
replete
climactic

J.C. honey- tiger 09/08/2019.
200 · Sep 2022
2 3 1 5 (valentine's day)
Jayne E Sep 2022
2 3 1 5 (valentines day)

Valentine's kisses
blown by fists
set coordinates
as markers
of unholy tristes
days in lieu
spent chasing back time
fooling myself
momentarily
that I can run down
the night
trade in those seedy lows
for peakless highs
masquerading sobs
smiles to hide sighs

© J.C.
200 · May 2019
Sirens song
Jayne E May 2019
Ione Plexaure Calypso
daughters of Poseidon
sisters three
temptress's of highest order
beckon me
onwards under blanket of darkness
evening star sole guiding light
nocturnes singing sweetly
deliver me through this night.
Nereid nymph's steer me
blind seafarers stolen sight
rarest fair silk drawn white
are your intimate delights,
best listen softly singing,
hearts can never leave,
but know allure,
that in those luscious seas,
bring calm waters, a gentle breeze,
my repose, my peace

J.C. 15/02/2019.
198 · Aug 2019
Happy birthday Mum...
Jayne E Aug 2019
gratitude

I'm thankful for all the love
you showed me
for all the time
you took to teach me
tolerance
patience
kindness
how to love
how to live
how to laugh
when things get tough
I'm thankful
it was you
I called mother
not any other
could've loved me
more than you
I'm thankful
to have had you in my life
as long as I did
even though
I still miss you every day
in so many ways

You lit up any room
with your beauty
with your presence
with the light
that shone from you

Your arms
were the best place to be
you  knew
just how to communicate
love with a hug

your words
gifted on lilting voice
knew how to bring the calm
inner light chased away harms

this world
is a little bit duller
without you in it
but the skies
have gained a star
shining just a little brighter
than the rest

I'm grateful for you
Mum.

© J.C. 27/08/2019.
196 · May 2019
Aurora Australis...
Jayne E May 2019
Come dance with me love
on this magical night
under the Aurora Australis
breathtaking polar light
a sight of beauty indeed
the vista of night sky
Southern lights firing
as solar winds feed
magical light show colours fly
snow beneath our feet forgotten
as breath freezes in the air
magnetic energy excites oxygen
caused by beautiful solar flares
come dance with me my darling
forgetting all our cares
under this rare gift from the Sun
although seen in the dead
of a freezing winters night
come lay in the snow
all cold now forgotten
as our pounding hearts take flight.

J.C. 23/05/2019.
195 · Sep 26
captive kiss
Jayne E Sep 26
surrender
your plump lower lip
tenderly
ensnared
between my teeth.

©J.C.
195 · May 2019
Lets begin...
Jayne E May 2019
Let's begin
This is not for lust but rather desire
engage and ignite
united ****** fire
I want your eyes on me now
As I slowly undress
Yielding my body to you
To feast upon first with those
most intense hungry eyes
As I step slowly out of my
light summer dress

Unloosing my hair, tumbling tresses
fall down over shoulder,
as skin starts to  tingle
already a smoulder
with thoughts of what's yet to come
My lovely, my lover most lovely
we have only just begun

My breath is all tremble
as you watch me undress
delicious, delirious,
salacious unbearable bliss

Run the back of your fingers down
naked flank to my thighs
trail your fingers back up now,
the length of my spine

Now pull me to you
with firm tenderness
to feel
your every caress
your skin your skin your skin
on my skin, my skin on your skin

Kiss me deep as you hold me
pressed tight hip to hip
and ignite me now fully with
fingers and lips,
tongues dancing between us
hands lost between thighs,
so begins the beginning
of moans, ardent sighs

The need becomes urgent
shudders form deep within
I need you to taste
the graceless state
you have put me in,
I'm begging you to release me,
as the earthquakes begin

You give yourself to me
time for restraint fading fast
neither quite sure how much
longer we can last

It's now I do show you how all
my colours unfold,
it's now that
you teach me your secret  
armour fou flying bold

arms hooked under my thighs
backed up to the wall
fully with me intense
does begin my great fall

as rapture increases,
breaths both coming fast,
I cling to you perfervidly,
the hot fiery rush of release
has me fraught
thundered pulse in my head
surrender at last,
here it comes,
here I ***,
ahhhhhh....
I die I am dead
La petite Mort.

J.C. 25/02/2019
194 · Aug 2019
a street called home...
Jayne E Aug 2019
Alms outstretched
palms upwards open
a stop in the minds traffic
for the downtrodden
lives lived in the graphic
for the broken
needs forgotten
squashed unheard or unspoken
the hustle bustle of city life
clip clop of Clergerie heels
striding past others in strife
too busy to regard how another feels
jostle juggle of business days
oblivious to the penury rife
busy days in play our outlays
forgetful battles mindful
minefields and mindfields
filled by self possessions
amid lost expressions
of unfilled needs
of those on their knees
curled up at home warm
toasty warm by the fire
dissolving thoughts melting
for those out in cold streets dire
stretched out like a pusycat
well fed limbs intact relaxed
the lines grow longer outside
as shelters max capacity taxed
winters shivers chilled to bones
our lives moving forward on track
bitter cold bites the ache honed
for others homes are on their back
its easy to become complacent soft
choose not to cast down our glances
but keeping our coiffed heads aloft
fate may see you taking your chances
stripped of your luxurious lifes jewels
consider others as you'd want to be
perhaps should be good life rules
how would I like it if he she was me

© J.C. honey-tiger 16/08/2019.
homelessness, complacency, humanity
194 · Jun 2019
cause célèbre
Jayne E Jun 2019
Gloria Vanderbilt died today
princess Diana, was on the news
beautifully dead,
walking the dusty trails
of Angolan land mine fields,
without protection
of any shields.

"I cried the day that Bowie died"
(and the world cried with you)
we shed our tears
our sighs & why's,
when a famous one dies,
but what of the good human
who slips away
without any voices,
without any words,
to say?

The one who gave much more
than they could spare
passes away, shown no care
the loved yet forgotten,
once fine
the downtrodden.

The mother who sang lullabies
dried millions of tears,
hushed thousands of sighs
with warm embraces,
with loving care,
slips into the nothing,
exits an unaffected world.

The lover once lovely
dead in an alley a ditch,
too many hits,
too many scars,
unseen unfelt unmissed(sic)
by hundreds of
passing cars

Beauty rotting
cold blood clotting,
passersby passing by
unaware,
would they even care
that she was broken
long before dead,
by a world callous and cruel
undid her lovely head?

I understand fame,
I understand célèbre,
I understand shame,
I hang my head.

J.C. honey-baby 18/06/2019
Jayne E Dec 2019
Gwerful Mechain - (1460 - 1502)

The female genitals


Every foolish drunken poet,
boorish vanity without ceasing,
(never may I warrant it,
I of great noble stock,)
has always declaimed fruitless praise
in song of the girls of the lands
all day long, certain gift,
most incompletely, by God the Father:
praising the hair, gown of fine love,
and every such living girl,
and lower down praising merrily
the brows above the eyes;
praising also, lovely shape,
the smoothness of the soft *******,
and the beauty's arms, bright drape,
she deserved honour, and the girl's hands.
Then with his finest wizardry
before night he did sing,
he pays homage to God's greatness,
fruitless eulogy with his tongue:
leaving the middle without praise
and the place where children are conceived,
and the warm ****, clear excellence,
tender and fat, bright fervent broken circle,
where I loved, in perfect health,
the **** below the smock.
You are a body of boundless strength,
a faultless court of fat's plumage.
I declare, the **** is fair,
circle of broad-edged lips,
it is a valley longer than a spoon or a hand,
a ditch to hold a ***** two hands long;
**** there by the swelling ****,
song's table with its double in red.
And the bright saints, men of the church,
when they get the chance, perfect gift,
don't fail, highest blessing,
by Beuno, to give it a good feel.
For this reason, thorough rebuke,
all you proud poets,
let songs to the **** circulate
without fail to gain reward.
Sultan of an ode, it is silk,
little seam, curtain on a fine bright ****,
***** in a place of greeting,
the sour grove, it is full of love,
very proud forest, faultless gift,
tender frieze, fur of a fine pair of testicles,
a girl's thick grove, circle of precious greeting,
lovely bush, God save it.
Mediaeval poetess, female ****** power, history
193 · Jul 2019
Tender
Jayne E Jul 2019
Tender.

tender
the sound of my name from your lips

tender
the way you tease me with funny quips

tender
the break in your voice for my pain

tender
the infinite tiny kisses you do rain

tender
the way you never tire of my voice

tender
the sound of your sighs oh how I rejoice

tender
the feel of your breath on my necks nape

tender
the warmth of your arms when we wake

tender
the sleepy vows of love and affection

tender
the communication shared with no deflection

tender
the way you warm up my toes when cold

tender
the desire to be together until we're old

tender
the embraces never ending after our ***

tender
the love we share simple yet so complex

J.C. honey-baby 02/07/2019.
Jayne E Apr 2020
I'm not a game to be played
when feeling bold
then quickly dropped into cold
once your nerve wavers thin
affection shifting to chagrin
looks like I am tricked again
as inauthentic you crept in.

clickety clack clickety clack
does this train on the track
I did not leap under its wheels
I pushed them down the sickly feels.

you are not some toying thing
to be cajoled to dance and sing
as my will does ebb and flow
this is it, there you go, there you go
you hot you cold you shy you bold.

clickety clack clickety clack
does this train on the track
I did not leap under its wheels
I pushed them down the sickly feels.

we are not we and never where
distant boy and gold hair girl
so I do you and you do me
across the sea to shining sea
if we could I think we would
it's written now so should be good
the feels were felt deep under hood.

clickety clack clickety clack
does this train on the track
I did not leap under its wheels
I pushed them down the sickly feels.

there still will be the filling up
your nectar unto my loving cup
I pulled you in you pushed away
the push and pull is how we play
a pretty glisten on the morn
did offer stickily sweet to adorn
fingers tips and lips did drip.

clickety clack clickety clack
does this train on the track
I did not leap under its wheels
I pushed them down the sickly feels

we switch it up we switch it down
in penners pens a friendship found
and so unbidden feels abound
I'm laid bare across your knee
my breath held pulse running round
I know you know I want it now 'la fessee'
this newly new thing sees me free

clickety clack clickety clack
does this train on the track
I did not leap under its wheels
I pushed them down the sickly feels

© J.C.
This is a slightly tweaked rewrite of an older poem...brought back to mind after listening to train sounds during lockdown...go figure lolz.. (originally written on a train ride)
191 · Nov 2019
Lucas
Jayne E Nov 2019
you called me
1001 nights of the sahsrara
you called me Laylah
you called me Lilith
your queen
little beetle
scarab
you called me to you
with carved silver
circled pentagrams
wrapped in silk
and petals
wrapped in spells
and incantations
wrote me poems in your blood
scrolls tied tight with
strands of your hair
sealed in wax
you were the lizard boy
dark eyes and your heart
once bright filled
with sparkled light
charred to dark ash
the day she took from you
your innocence
and lightness of being
hungry to feed
on the potency of your youth
to erase times lines
from her haggard face
the scar lines engraved
upon your soul forever
we called up the summer rain
one hot January night
danced naked in the garden
under the full harvest moon
laughing chanting
willing the rain to fall
moonlight shimmering
through the droplets
we were as children again
for a few moments
you thought I did not love you
because I walked my own path
you told me too late
of your sufferings
in a note left on my pillow
found after you drove
off the cliff into the deep gorge
the water kept you for 6 months
spitting your body up on the rocks
at the tender age of 23
torn apart by the rapids
for years you haunted my dreams
your long fingered artists hands
reaching out from the rushing waters
pulling me down
each night
to lay with you forever
your elegant hands
becoming
my eternal slaughter.

J.C.
188 · Nov 2019
falling in grace...
Jayne E Nov 2019
If I could hold you
inside me
forever
like the beating wings
of the bird
that is my heart
caged in my chest
and how it beats
like a hummingbird
at the sound
of your breaths
falling in grace
against my skin
I would keep you
here
inside me
carry you with me
wherever I go
If I could hold you
inside me
like my coursing blood
how it boils
pulses through me
at the sound
of my name
falling in grace
from your lips
I would keep you
here
inside me
carry you with me
wherever I go
to hold you
inside me forever.

J.C.
179 · Sep 2019
6 months of his good love
Jayne E Sep 2019
home is being
wrapped in the care
of your loving embrace
wherever you are
is where I will race
to be
so close to feel
softly
your breath on me
the warmth of your skin
pressed against
the warmth of my skin
just our heartbeats
beating
between us
it's the only place
I now long to be
your love is the cure
and how you give it
so tenderly true
the salve that
soothes and
sets my heart free
you ignited
emotions never
felt before, so deep
such abundance of joy
I am forever
your little meep
this love we share
and your sweet devotion
how you care for me
unlocked the door
with true loves key
your voice gentle
soft in my ear
brings the calm
with words uttered
so dear
gifts peaceful sleep
a new experience
moves me
sublimely deep
my love for you
surprises me
in all good ways
still
it grows stronger
each day by day
my heart beat skips
as you whisper my name
how it lovingly drips
off your tongue
from your lips
can never be the same
now transformed
never known love like this
thank you my loveliest man
for six months of pure bliss.


J.C. little meep (your baby-baby) 26/09/2019.
6 incredible months spent falling in deep complete love with you, my darling M.  It feels amazingly good to be loved by you, your love given is tender, true, passionate, authentic, ardent it is unlike any other love I've experienced, ever, and moves me on such a deep emotional level.  Being in love with you feels like the missing piece of a puzzle I didn't know needed solving, is found and now is complete.  I love the way we communicate, honest, open, facing and resolving any small 'wrinkles' swiftly without resentment, or deflection, never letting any external 'bs' affect our relationship.   I love you M. now and forever.  I feel your love for me too, the way you give your love to me, causes a deep, warm sense of peaceful joy in my heart. You are my future, I want to wake up with you every day and fall asleep in your arms every night for the rest of our lives...***
179 · Nov 2019
coming home...
Jayne E Nov 2019
when I think of your hands
traversing my body
your breath dusting my skin
and your kisses
constructed of love
dancing
over my lips
my neck
******* thighs belly
traveling between
the valley of my hipbones
finding shelter
in the garden of my ***
I feel my pulse quicken
the tiny hairs on my skin
all stand to attention
and the pull deep in my belly pit
becomes a homing beacon
seeking you out

I want to map your body
with my kisses
set guidelines
with my tongue
navigate you
until
every inch of your being
all your coordinates
are locked forever
in my unconscious mind
so at any given time
I can follow the lines
explore you
discover your hidden wonders
exclaim "eureka!"
and plant the flag of my love
firmly in your heart
you feel like coming home
forever in your arms is
the place I'm meant to be

J.C.
178 · May 2020
soul a flare (dreamscapes)
Jayne E May 2020
on your walk to the sun
one hand razed
devastating its glare
heat cracked glaze
by your steely stare
to pave crazed
you are
auditing orbits
threw black dotted sight
fully loded
petal to metal
the ferrous wheel turns
your sun
burns
burns
burns
ironing out
years etched in creases
seared skin stretched tight
you per severe
perpetual
motion never ceases
at knifes edge of night
presque vue too
as peripheral quick
silver sends mecurial
maidens dancing
along contrails
dusted
in shimmering bright
phase two
blends no rhyme
con fused by light
fade to black
we run out of time
blinded out of sight.

© J.C.
178 · May 2019
Triggered.
Jayne E May 2019
It's hard to say or pin the exact day
the little boy left & sunny eyes gave way
to thunderstorms and raging red mist
a desire now to hurt the one you kissed
and turned to for laughs love support
now eaten up by bitter anger all fraught

with historical pain memories from deep
come hurtling through the rage does seep
I see it I feel it I know it's ****** source
and how it's throwing your life off course
but helpless to throw you needed lifeline
as you storm and spit threatening mine

I can't live that way again not even for you
to watch you drowning is to see me blue
my hands tied bound by too many times
the fists did fall broken bones black eyes
the trigger pulls and I'm hurtling back now

so no matter no amounts of why's or how's
can pull me up to the surface for sweet air
once pulled that trigger imprisons me there
sees me stuck frozen in cold sweat panic
realisation hits home hard like the Titanic
even for you I nurtured from seed to boy
no quarter to give you now stealing my joy

if I could I would save you take the red mist
wash all your fears & forked tongue hissed
bathe you in love to carry you to be light
not set in the dark primed for any fight

so I have to let you go and do it with love
hoping praying you are able to kick above
the storming seas deep eddys pushed down
to find your sunnier day happier grounds
I'm sorry my boy but I cannot go back there
to spend all my days in uncertain cold fear

J.C. 11/05/2019.
176 · May 2019
The Maypole.
Jayne E May 2019
Around the maypole as a child
My body did fly so free and wild
As feet found purchase on ground
Then flung in the air around & around

Reminding me of the ancient rites
garlended maypoles quite the sight
fertility dances and rites of hot fire
a hope of fruited land and men to sire

not to be confused with August Spies
empassioned speech saw 300,000 rise
across the seas fighting for other rights
of workers labourers fair workers plight

but of Celtic marking of the May day
of flower garlands, music all at play
I remembered these tales but a few
as around the school maypole my body flew.

J.C. honey-owl 04/05/2019.
175 · Apr 2019
Train ride write
Jayne E Apr 2019
I'm not a game to be played
when feeling bold
then quickly dropped into cold
once your nerve wavers thin
affection shifting to chagrin
looks like I am tricked again
as inauthentic you crept in.

clickety clack clickety clack
does this train on the track
I did not leap under its wheels
I pushed them down the sickly feels.

you are not some toying thing
to be cajoled to dance and sing
as my will does ebb and flow
this is it, there you go, there you go
you hot you cold you shy you bold.

clickety clack clickety clack
does this train on the track
I did not leap under its wheels
I pushed them down the sickly feels.

we are not we and never where
distant boy and gold hair girl
so I do you and you do me
across the sea to shining sea
if we could I think we would
it's written now so should be good
the feels were felt deep under hood.

clickety clack clickety clack
does this train on the track
I did not leap under its wheels
I pushed them down the sickly feels.

there still will be the filling up
your nectar unto my loving cup
I pulled you in you pushed away
the push and pull is how we play
a pretty glisten on the morn
did offer stickily sweet to adorn
fingers tips and lips did drip.

clickety clack clickety clack
does this train on the track
I did not leap under its wheels
I pushed them down the sickly feels

we switch it up we switch it down
in penners pens a friendship found
and so unbidden feels abound
I'm laid bare across your knee
my breath held pulse running round
I know you know I want it now 'la fessee'
this newly new thing sees me free

clickety clack clickety clack
does this train on the track
I did not leap under its wheels
I pushed them down the sickly feels

J.C. 08/03/2019
171 · Dec 2019
9 months...
Jayne E Dec 2019
Its been 9 months
of love perfectly incubated
23,652,025.9 moments
of blossoming emotions
warm tender and deep
elevated by
honest open communication
I still thrill to the sound
of your voice
uttering my name lovingly
uttering my name tenderly
growling my name passionately
I've given up
waiting for the intensity
of these wondrous feelings
to peak then ebb
to find a settling ground
It is a futile pursuit when
my love for you
keeps growing
stronger
deeper
more tender
more complex
surprising me with wonder
and filling me with joy
every day spent in your love
is a day I want to last forever
you are the honey bee
buzzing around my heart
your love is a rich deep tapestry
full of hidden intricate beauties
your love is a summer garden
lush with nourishment
for my soul
your love is a spring shower
washing me in warm kisses of light
I want to inhale you
to breathe you in
as my air
taste every inch of your skin
as my nourishment
I want you
to chart my body
with your kisses
lay claim
to all my territories
I am your baby baby
now and forever

J.C. 28/12/2019 3.33am.
169 · Dec 2019
missing you
Jayne E Dec 2019
It is too hot
for sleep to come easy
even a light sheet
is too much cover
I need you
to be my blanket
your arm laid over my waist
your breath my skins coverlet
your sweet love
the pillow
to cradle my restless mind

J.C.
169 · Sep 2019
bye gones.
Jayne E Sep 2019
Bygones be gone
bye wrong
wires crossed
lost in the why
this world is full
of unseeing eyes
unfeeling hearts
unthinking minds
not ours
not yours
not mine
we find the depth
in between the lines

© J.C. 24/09/2019.
165 · Jun 2022
whispers & kisses
Jayne E Jun 2022
come to me
in whispers and kisses
consume me
with trembled breaths of love
call for me in urgency
tenderly
growl my name
****** me
utter up to me
all your ardent wishes
envelop me
our love the white hot flame
burn for me
be open love
see how desire frees
ravish me
make my salty sweet
your most delicious
surrender with me
willfully
give over to love
bent on her gentle knees

©J.C.
164 · May 2019
D.R.E.A.M.I.N.G.
Jayne E May 2019
Dreaming...

Blackest skies are blackened blue
drfiing starless I'm dreaming you
aether carried to your warmer side
touching breathing on the astral ride
inhaling you my body now becomes yours
envelope me guiding my nightfed course
pulls me into you drawn by magnetic force
undeniable pointless to try to deny
forever locked two now one cannot defy
no desire to refute or even to delay
to make you mine to draw you into lay
your head upon my sweet tender breast
now sealed in space, time, cosmos, lest
we waste a moment spent in this bliss
my succour now fed by you, only your kiss
no other could now exist for me just you
my heart you have my love sweet and true.

J.C.  
161 · Jan 2021
soaring (on the thermal)
Jayne E Jan 2021
my heart lifts
in upward flight
a bird on the wing
in the presence
of your love
like a lark ascending
soaring
skyward
on the thermal current

* * * * *

I've loved you
all of my life
even before we met
the promise of you
was cast in my heart
its double barreled
pulsed rhythm
secretly calling your name
your love for me
so sweet and true
became this littlebirds
homing beacon
guiding me
I wing my way
to the refuge of your embrace
to the rapture of your kiss
to the nest of our bed
to the radiance of your love
home.

J.C. (littlebird)
This piece of music communicates how your love feels to me. Also my favourite Ralph Vaughn Williams piece.

https://youtu.be/yU-1zqUo80U
159 · Aug 2019
hullabaloo
Jayne E Aug 2019
to unbind the climes
and unchain the rhymes
it's the only way
to engage and play
squash time and space
so bindings erase
I'm painting out the sea
pulling you close to me
10699 is a bit of a stretch
even for this love struck wretch
calling out to the aether
dissolve terra firma beneath her
meld land into seas
bring my true love to me
let me run to your arms
the only thing that calms
my tempestuous dreams
is you my love it seems
so dissolve it the breadth
and width of it the depth
disappear all the hullabaloo
mirage the kalamazoo
the magnetic pull is pain
if not in your arms again.

© J.C. baby-owly 15/08.2019. 4.20am
158 · Jul 2019
Tired...
Jayne E Jul 2019
At the thick end of night all are sleeping
not me for the black thoughts creep in,
not invited in nor welcome here
doesn't stop the monsters my dear,
they all dance in of different flavours
one constant all seek my graced favour.

I'm tired.

It may be fear dancing and leaping maybe memory keeps me from sleeping,
perhaps it's shame leading dancers play
laughing to beat back at my sunnier day
or a blonded man blue iced eyes tithing
knots throwing knives & no nice thing.

I'm tired.

It's been 30 plus years stuck in here playing dodgem cars with all these fears
smash one over hit one to the side,
just for another to hit on the fly collide,
one more trip on the helter skelter slide.  

I'm tired.  

So weary tears stain cheeks eyes bleary,
will it soon end or stay this way forever
strive to untie the bond break the tether
but the monsters ha! they know me better than any close friend, family or lover
so I'm stuck in here wed to this terror.

I'm tired.

As the clock slows beats me backwards again I paint on the smile feign the act
I'm ok to any friend say hey hey
much easier less ugly to just pretend
rather than confess admit to say
I'm unable to unbend the bend
straighten the wires and unrip
so to interrupt the continuum slip.

I'm tired.

As thick pushes through into pointy end of dissolving night  
with pale washed out insipid
weak tea pre-dawn light
still no relent
no peace
no love
no joy
no relief in sight
I wonder if it'll ever sever
or never again going to be alright.

I'm tired.

J.C. honey-tiger 01/07/2019.
156 · Oct 2019
we choose...
Jayne E Oct 2019
I am
myself
as a flower
blown by
a gentle breeze
in a field
I will bend
I will yield
to the heal
by nature soft
even tho my will
be iron strong
in deed
not wrong
to say
I am super feisty
on that day
I'm  treated coldly
my tongue
will be a sliced blade
slicing boldly
cutting old or young
sometimes in life
on both sides
mistakes are made
both sides
can debride
can throw
a good heft of shade
we decide
what price is paid
whether to weather
the storm
keep the tether
or walk away
connection sever
to cut
or to repair the rip
down to us
and how we choose
to trip
to 'win' to 'lose'
smile happy
or play the blues
keep it real
or run a ruse
simple
so simple
we choose
we choose.

© J.C. 05/10/2019.
154 · Apr 2019
"Day 7 - thread will end."
Jayne E Apr 2019
"Day 7, thread will end"
take it from she who knows, about
"how long is a piece of string",
Of trust broken under golden rings,
and of damp dirt floor
Some threads never end.
my child still lives back in time
tied desires dreams fractured
rightly, by visions sick, unsightly,
and back back hurtling back
she goes nightly
to tickr-tickr-tickr-tickr
projector unspills spools
pooled once more
on that damp dirt earth floor
ungodly film flickers on screen
as mentioned unpealed screams
and love lies bleeding
in the corner horned beast seething
teeth sharp gleaming
Her sick belly feeling for the *****
tied her desires to him, weep, weep,
with twisted blade sunk deep,
purchase gained there's no more sleep
Hush hush now baby don't you cry,
he will polish your screams
he will bleed you dry
So hush hush dry your tears
unbind your sighs and fears
Monster dances in a leap to the left,
he has more for you to see
before you can be free,
it's one more for the road, then home to bed.
Did I mention before, I'm long time dead.

J.C. "little meep" 25/04/2019.
151 · Nov 2019
he is...
Jayne E Nov 2019
he is warmth
like the sun kissing my skin
he is nourishing sweetness
like raw honey on my tongue
he is peace
like a cool stream deep in the forest
he is a deep calm
like stillness felt just before dawns break
he is pure happiness
like a summers day at the beach at 8 yrs old
he is sweet wonder
like 1000 butterflies first upward flight as one
he is unutterable joy
like feeling his love pour down on me
he is my love, he is my honey bee
he is the panacea that set my heart free.

J.C.
150 · Oct 2019
elixirs elemental
Jayne E Oct 2019
I crave
I burn
I ache
to lick the salt
from your skin
to breathe you
inhale every atom
all 7*10(27)
7000000000000000000000000000
of them
feed this
elemental need
bury my face
in your musk
I must
I must
I must
taste you
ravish you
with kisses
your magnet pulls
with orbital force
pulls me
from the pit of my belly
drives me
to press my skin
against your skin
no air between us
heat of our bodies
fusing skin to skin
feeding the fire within
your breath
breathing my name
love caught in the moans
sets my body alight
with desire
with love
with longing
I want to hold you inside me
carry you with me
always
saturate you
with my love
mixing elixirs
I am lost in you
in bliss.

© J.C. 11/10/2019 3.03am
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