Shadow is the one
Shadow is all you want
Purity here written devastatingly on this very line
Not to shrink the kind

Making love to your shadow
Living your reflection up
5 torturing years in a row
You have given up

I live in your basement
Unnoticed to your enjoyment
Quietly lost in my own existence
Yet firm and vast persistence

My heart beats to your every step
As i wait patiently for your misstep
Through a crack i see you every night
Beautiful and fair in my sight

Your scent seeping in through the floor
Through my skin, my every pore
The sound of your laughter i hear in the dark
I feel your breath on me with a spark

I touch your feet every night through the cold
Your bare skin... Heavenly like gold
I am only a feeling away
But not today

I live in your basement
Unnoticed to your enjoyment
Quietly lost in my own existence
Yet firm and vast persistence

My heart beats to your every step
As i wait patiently for your misstep
Through a crack i see you every night
Beautiful and fair in my sight

Your scent seeping in through the floor
Through my skin, my every pore
The sound of your laughter i hear in the dark
I feel your breath on me with a spark

I touch your feet every night through the cold
Your bare skin... Heavenly like gold
I am only a feeling away
But not today

Heaps of dead leaves scattered by the wind
Your hand once beautiful, now stuck out dead
Barren you, autumn tragedy, and me unkind
There was neither hopes nor thread

You, my last and most beautiful
Prayers coming out, flat and pitiful
Only from me and the air hanging heavy
As much cold as your skin so deathly

To be forgotten and lost
Though once loved and wanted the most
My heart hurt you could not see
Confused yet satisfied as i be

Now evoking and provoking spirits
Tales and nothing hints
Your hand in my forever dreams
Twenty...forty...or till i die in my sleep

If your arms are long enough...
Come dig me up...
Say your prayer...
For i am not dead yet...

I can see...
I can feel...
I can hear...
Still...

Come now...
Dig me up...
I beg you...

I am not dead...

When i was a little child, my father told me a story about a young man who went missing.
They had been looking for him for years. He was nowhere to be found.
He was last seen standing by a river nearby looking strange and cold.

They believed he drownt and died.
But She believed she was still alive.
She said she could feel his presence wandering around among the trees.
She was there everyday waiting for him.
Years passed by....
She had been waiting...
So patiently...

One cold morning they found her lying on the ground...
Motionless...
Covered with mud and dead leaves...
When she woke up she said she saw him...
Still handsome as could be...
But he was trapped...
Neither alive nor dead...

The next day they found her leaning motionless on a willow tree by the river...
My daughter...
My sad daughter...

When i was a little child, my father told me a story about a young man who went missing.
They had been looking for him for years. He was nowhere to be found.
He was last seen standing by a river nearby looking strange and cold.

They believed he drownt and died.
But She believed she was still alive.
She said she could feel his presence wandering around among the trees.
She was there everyday waiting for him.
Years passed by....
She had been waiting...
So patiently...

One cold morning they found her lying on the ground...
Motionless...
Covered with mud and dead leaves...
When she woke up she said she saw him...
Still handsome as could be...
But he was trapped...
Neither alive nor dead...

The next day they found her leaning motionless on a willow tree by the river...
My daughter...
My sad daughter...

When i was a little child, my father told me a story about a young man who went missing.
They had been looking for him for years. He was nowhere to be found.
He was last seen standing by a river nearby looking strange and cold.

They believed he drownt and died.
But She believed she was still alive.
She said she could feel his presence wandering around among the trees.
She was there everyday waiting for him.
Years passed by....
She had been waiting...
So patiently...

One cold morning they found her lying on the ground...
Motionless...
Covered with mud and dead leaves...
When she woke up she said she saw him...
Still handsome as could be...
But he was trapped...
Neither alive nor dead...

The next day they found her leaning motionless on a willow tree by the river...
My daughter...
My sad daughter...

Of all the souls wandering around.
Hers was the only one.
Taken away out of sight.
Dim, mine was slight.

Come sing me a song.
As every soul runs long.
Your story is yet to tell.
When you are in hell.

I see souls wandering around.
Distinct stories of life that surround.
Their feet hardly touch the ground.
I heard hardly any sound.

I need to recite the perfect spell.
I seek for a convincing story to tell.
But everything will come to an end.
Like the happy feeling of finishing a good book.
It is unexpected and true.

It's 3.33 AM

I look out the window.
It is snowing outside.

I see you down there.
Standing alone staring back at me.

Your beautiful red hair.
Your heart-shaped face.

I close my eyes and sigh.
Suddenly i realize how much i miss you.

No...
It's not you.
You passed away years ago.

I open my eyes and you're still there.
Now staring at me with such a longing.

I go back to bed.
With such a weird feeling.

I stare at the window.
I know you're still out there.
Whenever i look out again.

I found a black jacket this morning.
I put it on like i was mourning.
Then i learnt that nobody could see me.
People just left me be.

I walked through doors feeling free from being stared at.
Wherever whenever i ran, walked or sat.
They could not even hear me when i called them names.
This world is mine, i claimed.

Then i saw a man walking towards me in a rush.
He looked so horrible and smelt like trash.
He opened his mouth and spoke a language i did not know.
But i understood every word he said very slow.

*It is not the jacket.
You are invinsible indeed.
But it is not the jacket.
It is not even a jacket like you think it is.
It is a black tuxedo.
You are dead now.
They are going to bury you.
That is why they put it on you.
You are dead.
Indeed you are.

I touched the mask on my face again, gently...
What an unslightly mask it was...
Let out terrible stench...

The mask...
I tried to pull it off my face...
It didn't move a bit...
I pulled it harder...
Felt painful and burning...
I pulled it again...harder...with all my strength...
It came off...
I threw it on the floor...

Then i looked back into the mirror...
And i saw it...
A monster...
Its skeletal face...
Its ****** face...

It wasn't a mask i knew...
It was my face i saw on the floor...

You saw a woman showing her affection to her man.
I saw a woman conquering her man.
You saw a man with a huge smile on his face.
I saw a man with a fake smile thinking hard trying to figure out what to do.
You saw them perfectly in love.
I saw them perfectly in pretending.

My love....
We were standing in front of a mirror...
Looking at our own reflections...

I took a sip of coffee and thought of you.
You had hurt me worse than anybody could ever do.
I thought it was me.
I thought you could see.

I thought i could trust you.
But you gave me all the reasons not to.
I knew it was only a game to you.
Nothing you felt toward me was true.

I am so terribly sorry.
But if i can not have you, neither can he.
I have to destroy him.
That man...you call husband...

I won't be the other man anymore...

''I forgot you.
I even forgot your name.
In fact i didn't even know you.
I didn't remember seeing you before.''

You handed me the letter without even looking at me...
I knew... I felt it...
This is goodbye...
You were leaving for good...

So i tried to move on without your happy apple pies every morning.
Without the strong scent of your silky hair on my pillows.

But you came back.
After all i had been through all by myself....you came back.
It was a mistake, you said.

But it was too late.
Too late, dear...
I could not speak anymore.
I could not see you anymore.

There you were...standing in front of a cold gravestone....all by yourself...
Crying... for it was too late...
Too late, dear...

Even if i wanted i couldn't say yes...
I could not speak anymore...
I just could not...
It was too late...
If only you had came back a bit earlier...
If only you had realized how wrong you had been...
I could not speak anymore...

There you lingered for hours...
Before the cold silent gravestone...
That whispered quietly...

''I forgot you.
I even forgot your name.
In fact i didn't even know you.
I didn't remember seeing you before.''

A little girl told me where she was hiding.
Asked me to keep trying.
Eventhough it was impossible to.
As i was drowning too.

She was drowning crying screaming.
I was paddling falling dying.
The dead and the living must learn to live side by side.
We must open our eyes wide.

I see burning orbs hovering over my world.
Flashing lights swirling round swiftly like swords.
The dead and the living must learn to share.
God please...... answer and spare...

Just because i can not see...
Does not mean i can not feel.
I may not be able to be...
But i know what i seek.

You're in my head.
Your song you thread.
Such a glorious threat.
Hardly catch my breath.

You're in my head.
Crying, my eyes are red.
Empty and hollow like dead.
You know i have bled.

You're in my head.
Squeezing and touching like in my bed.
My Love your empty heart sheds.
To bottomless pit i am led.

*You're in my head...
Always are...

It was raining hard and cold.
As i walked myself home away from the mad thunderbolts.
Shivering and starving, i felt it all.
Under clouds of storm that rolled.

Then i felt it very clearly.
Somebody was watching me intensely.
I turned around and saw a dark sillhouette of a man in the thick fog.
Walking towards me, alert like a dog.

Feeling cold on my back i kept walking, faster and frightened.
There was something eerie about him that forced me to hasten.
Like a dark shadow in the fog he kept following me silently.

I turned around once again and the man stopped moving.
He stared back at me, the wind kept howling.
And very slowly, as i watched him there, he was fading away, under the street lights.
He was turning into thin air as the fog covered him out of my sight.

He was gone completely...

I did not see it.
A car travelling at very high speed hit me hard.
I fell on the road and then i saw nothing.
It was all dark.

When i opened my eyes everything had changed around me.
Everything was blur and vague to see.
I saw differently.
I smelt differently.
I heard differently.
I felt differently.

And i saw a man walking by hurriedly.
I started to walk, following him silently.

Christmas Eve

I take a look at my watch...
It is Dec 24 1975....

I am walking myself into the forest.
Feeling strange like i will never rest.
Those trees looking back at me with caution.
Mistically i am drowning in a dark vision.

I see colours of white, blue, and green swirling swiftly before me.
Lines of horizon running freely as cosmical as they be.
Faces i have and have not seen whispering among the trees that are humming.
As i float i turn myself to the sky, yearning.

Then all of a sudden i find myself lying on the snow.
Still and hollow.
Gloomy shadows of the trees dancing vaguely on me.
Such a magic to see.

I take a look at my watch...
It is Dec 24, 1986...

I am looking into the mirror...
And see my reflection to my horror...
No... It's not me...
it's someone else's reflection i see...
I punch it hardly and and watch the mirror breaking into little pieces...
Feels good... Almost like hapiness...

Am a stain...
As it a man...

A skinny fiddler mouth.
Drifted as unholy mink.
A hounded firmly stinks.
Find me in the dark.

Am a stain...
As it a man...

Morgue violets you.
Virtuous eye, gloom
Your volute egoism.
Give your soul to me.

For i am the darkest night of yours.
Fainthearted fought risky moors.

Am a stain...
As it a man...

Please help me....
It is cold out here...
It is getting darker...
Please share me some of your light...
I only see darkness of night...
I want some of your warmth...
I have cold dew seep into me...
I am feeling so lonely...
I need some company...
I can not be alone...
I do not want to live on my own...
Please...
Help me...


They killed me weeks ago...
They buried me somewhere in the forest...
Can you not hear me cry out loud...
The earth has been digesting my body...
My hair is falling off...


Help me...
Can you not see me....
Can you not hear me...
Please...
It is cold out here...
I can not be alone...
I have been watching you for hours...
I am standing right outside your window now...


Let me in...
Let me in...
Let me in...
Help me...
*

Hartûk ba dáht annd tieró una bhadäl...
Hartûk ba dáht annd tieró una bhadäl...
Hartûk ba dáht annd tieró una bhadäl...
Meltúnna....

Dead... You're dead...
Through hell shall you thread.
For you there is no daily bread.
Darkness has gone to your head.

On my body you would tread.
Laughing and grinning as i bled.
There was nothing i said.
You had torn me to shreds.

And now you are dead.
In your soul my bullets i embed.
Your soul has gone misled.
Tatters of your soul on hell's pit i shall spread.

Dead.... You are dead...
Left misled...
Torn to shreds...
Blood tears shed...

Dead... You are dead...

Why are you weeping...
Why are you shivering...
I see the light in your eyes fading away.
Your people are not to stay.

Swiftly you move among the trees.
Disappearing into the silhouette of the night's kiss.
Aalbertje.... My love... My Precious.
The forest is dark and dangerous.

I touched the back of your neck and kissed it gently.
You turned around to see me as i tightened my grip around your neck affectionately.
I saw the light in your eyes fading away as you fell slowly on the ground as i breathed the sweetness of the air.
So slowly into my dark lair.

My face was the last thing you saw.
Aalbertje... Albertje...
Aalbertje Roweinna Van Loren...

My father was an eccentric middle aged man.
He collected old paintings and kept and locked them all away in the attic
But there was one painting that My father allowed us to see.
An old painting of a beautiful young woman.
He called it 'Miss Van Loren'.
She was so beautiful.
A polite smile and very dark straight hair.
But her eyes were the most unforgetable.
They were piercing green and alive.
As though able to see through me.

The painting was hanging on the wall in the hall.
Whenever i passed it by i always felt that her eyes were following my every step.

My father loved the painting so much.
But i was afraid of it.
I did not like her eyes.

Years pass, my father passed away.
And Van Loren was still hanging alone on the wall, dusty and old.
One day i took it off the wall and kept it in a trunk in the basement.
She looked deep into my eyes like crying as i closed the lid.

Ever since then i always had nightmares about Van Loren.
She visited me in my dreams looking so angry and creepy.
Let me out... Let me out

One morning i could not stand the nightmares anymore.
I took the painting out of the trunk and hung it back on the wall where it had been before.

But the nightmares did not stop.
She kept coming back.
Let me out.... Let me out

She began haunting me not only in my dreams.
She trapped me into a dark trance and screamt all the time.
I saw her eyes everywhere.
Let me out.... Let me out....

I thought i was going mad.
I took the painting off the wall once again and cast it into fire.

One day i accidentally came across my father's old abandoned attic.
I burst into it to my surprise.
I found dozens of different paintings of Van Loren hanging on the walls, lying on the floor.

Let me out... Let me out...

That very day i sold my father's old house and moved to another town.

Hiélo naht úrnd dá biähn.
Hiélo naht mänd dá laht.
Ahr nast thû bath ay naäm.
Naht fînnünd elt bhar himhnänt.
Shämënün himdarhó et na.
Iy dam na hïrh hîmfëllasted  et ay.
Dránna et a naäm et mennüïnd.
Niörha ethä mat'd.*

Let the moon sing.
Let the sun dance.
Everything is beautiful tonight.
The stars are bright in the sky,
Reflected in your eyes.
Then i find you here in my heart.
More radiant than any star.
Such a blessing and miracle.

This morning i made you a cup of coffee before you woke up.
I wanted you to feel that i still love you as much as i did.
You ignored my coffee that was waiting for you for some sips before you left for work.

You missed the bus again.
I walked right behind you, listening to you cursing the day and your high heels.
I touched your red hair and i could not feel its softness against my skin.
You turned around and looked through me.
I knew you could feel me.
I knew you knew i was around.
But you kept walking and i heard you telling yourself to move on.

As night grows darker i feel your pain.
You cry in the dark of our room, whispering my name.
How much you miss me everyday.
Everytime you hear the sound of rain.
Everytime you see morning dew on the window...
You think of me...

I am trapped forever between the lines of universe.
I do not possess my awareness of time and space anymore.
But i still have you in my weak indistinct mind.
A ghost is all i am to you.

My love...
My vague presence is torturing me.
I can not feel the warmness of your skin anymore.
If i could travel a billion light years away to embody my presence just to touch you for the last time...
I would...

Here in the dark you linger...
Reaching out into the night...
Tracking the last drops of my last days with you...

If only you saw...
If only you heard...
If only you felt...

If only you knew...

*I am here...

I can not see anything with the rain clouding up my window.
Vague figures are moving out there so slow.
I am waiting for you to come home.
I know from town to town you have roamed.

The sound of the rain thunders, irritating my ears.
Will you ever make it home to me?
I fear the storm is hampering you on your way.
I hope the wind would drive it away.

Hours pass me by and still you are not in sight.
I start to feel so cold inside.
As the rain is falling harder and unmercifully.
And then, slowly but surely i begin to see it perfectly.

I am running in a swirl of time.
I feel so cold and empty.

I find myself standing in the rain against the storm.
Cold and stiff like an old aging tomb.
Right before me i see you through the window...
You are looking out with such a longing on your face, far away i hear a row.

I am right here....
Can you not see me....
I shout out loud as i walk closer to your window.

Open the door...
Let me in...

You keep staring at the storm...
I know you can not see or hear me...
I see tears running down your face...
As you close the window and hide yourself out of my sight....

*I am here...
Let me in...

When i first saw you i was not who i am.
Nor what i am.
You very slowly turned me into something i was not.
And i embraced the chance of being something new that you offered me.

You were so full of life.
You were so alive.
I felt like a ghost with you around.
I felt like dead.

You peeled off my face and gave me a new one.
I liked it though.
You ripped my heart out because you said i did not need one.
A gaping hole inside me would make me pain resistant.
Nothing would  bring me down if i could not feel, you said.

You were right...

I felt nothing cutting your throat.
I felt nothing ripping your heart out, leaving a gaping hole on your chest.
I felt nothing burying you two and a half feet under.

I feel nothing now.
Nothing.
I stick my fingers reluctantly into the hole where my heart used to be.
Nothing....


Nothing...

The city is to swarm.
When night falls she crawls out of her den to offer her warmth.
To any man who is seeking for substitutional love.
That fits their desire like a glove.

Through cold foggy night she wanders alone.
Fair skin, seductive smile, to becoming a bit shy at first she is prone.
As the night grows darker she is inviting
to enter her private zone.
With her nothing to postpone.

As this polite gentle man comes approaching she smiles seductively.
Dark and cold yet he has got something else surely.
Both dissapearing into the fog.
For her it is just another night of hard slog.

Poor Mary...
Something is going on so scary.
They will find you with your inside awfully exposed hours later.
Torn into tatters.

I found this old black and white photograph.
Of a young handsome man.
Who died almost twenty years ago.
He looks so happy.
Perfect smile.
Beautiful eyes.

He looks so full of life.
Not aware of what is coming his way a few days later.

And suddenly i felt like i had known him.
The way he smiled.
His voice.

He was only 21.
They buried him somewhere i do not know.

But his smile told me a lot.
His eyes shared a lot.

If only i had met him.
If only i had known him.
I could have known how he was like.
I could have felt his warmth.

He's the most beautiful dead man i have ever seen.

i walked myself to his gravestone.
It was old and musty.
His name was curved into it.

I did not know what i felt.
But there's something about this man that had touched me.

I still came back to visit his grave years after.
And one day i stopped coming back
I got married and now have kids.

Many years ago, when i was young....
I fell in love with this man...
This handsome young man...

It's 3.33 AM

I look out the window.
It is snowing outside.

I see you down there.
Standing alone staring back at me.

Your beautiful red hair.
Your heart-shaped face.

I close my eyes and sigh.
Suddenly i realize how much i miss you.

No...
It's not you.
You passed away years ago.

I open my eyes and you're still there.
Now staring at me with such a longing.

I go back to bed.
With such a weird feeling.

I stare at the window.
I know you're still out there.
Whenever i look out again.

I am waiting in my room.
In the dark.
Sitting so patienly on my bed.
With vague shadows moving around me.
With the cold air torturing my skin.
I can feel my heart beat  fast.

Then i hear your voice.
Calling out to me.
But i can not see you.
Too dark...
Too cold...

I reach out vaguely into the dark.
And there you are.
Standing right before me.
Cold as frozen morning dew.
Dark as night sky without stars.
Hollow as a disembodied sounds of death.

With outstretched arms i let you in.
You come closer to me slowly without a sound.
And i hold you tight.
So tight.
To never let go.

I can feel your hands dancing on my skin.
I can feel your lips soothing my *******.

And then you vanish.
Just like you did before.
Leaving me in the dark alone.

My lovely shadow lover...

Fear me not.
I know my dark eyes have frightened you.
My tapering hands have scratched your fair skin.
My kisses have hurt your lips.

Fear me not.
I know i am cold as death.
I know i have no heartbeat.
My blood has frozen over.

Fear me not.
I will sing you the most beautiful song of night.
I will dance your soul away when the moon is dead.
Beneath the dark night sky i will linger for you.

Fear me not...
Cut your skin...
And let me in...

Erzsébet Crow is so happy. Her date is going to pick her up at 7. They're going to have a romantic dinner together.
She's been walking around in the living room for 30 minutes.
''Maybe he's not coming. Maybe he's changed his mind'' says she.
''No, sweetheart. He will come'' says her mother.
''i think you should go out with Ted. His father has killed more than three hundred people'' says her father while focusing on his reading.
Erzsébeth pouts at him.
''Dad! Ted is a *****. He wouldn't even **** a dog''.
Mrs.Crow smiles at her daughter.
''Erz tell us about this boy you're going out for a **** with'' asks she.
Erz shyly smiles back at her mother.
''Okay. Do not tell anyone. His name is Zoe. And he killed Mr.President last night. He slipped a grenade in his car when nobody was looking''.
''He did??????'' screams Mrs.Crow.
Erz nods happily. But her father doesn't seem impressed.
''Oh Dad, what???'' asks she.
Mr.Crow glances at Erz curiously.
''Erz honey,i was the one who's supposed to **** Mr.President.''
Erz pouts at him again.
''Dad please be happy for me for once in your life. I've found a really great killer boy who would mutilate a thousand bodies for me''.
Mr.Crows frowns at his upset daughter.
''Erzie, i'd be happy for you if---For God's sake!!!!!!!!'' Lucifer, Erz's pittbull suddenly jumps into his lap. To his surprise the dog got a rotten juicy severed hand in his mouth.
''Oh poor Mrs.Henderson'' exclaims Mr.Crow.
''Mrs.Henderson???? My english teacher????'' shouts Erz.
''Why did you **** her????'' asks Erz, surprised.
''She drove me mad with her questions about the blood stain she found on your shoes'' says Mr.Crow.
''Henry!!!!! How could you!!??? You killed our daughter's favorite teacher'' thunders Mrs.Crow.
Mr.Crows shakes his head ''Hey at least i didn't **** your headmaster. He's such a pain in the ****. If i had you would have had to skip your classes till they found a new one for the position''.
''where did you bury her??'' Mrs.Crow asks her husband.
''The garage''.
''Oh God! Not the garage. Our smarty pants neighbour Mrs.Clayton will smell the stench and finds out and then i will have to **** her before that poor old woman runs to the police'' shouts Mrs.Crow.
''Oh Elizabeth you're just exaggeratting'' protests Mr.Crow.
Suddenly there's a knock on the door.
''Oh it must be Zoe!'' says Erz.
Mrs.Crow looks so happy. She holds her daughter tight.
''Here'' says she, handing Erz a knife ''if he tries to do anything you don't like, just stab him in the heart with this''.
Erz rolls her eyes ''Mom, i can take care of myself. I can rip his ***** out with my own hands''. Mrs.Crows giggles as she opens the door for Zoe.
''Hi Mr and Mrs.Crow!'' greets the boy politely.
''Hi! Okay have fun you guys. Remember, do not **** in exposed places. Hide the body well and leave no blood trails'' warns Mrs.Crow.
Mr.Crow forces himself to give a brief smile before he says ''Okay, Zoey. I want you to bring my daughter home in one piece. If you try to do anything i do not like to her, i'll rip your heart out and eat it, and then i pull your ***** off and give them to my dog'' Lucifer barks his yes.
Mr and Mr.Crow watch their daughter walk away with her first date. They know their little girl has now turned into a big psychopath girl.

Paul Johnson was a mad psychopath.
He had killed hundreds of women in his life all by himself.
He never used any tools to ****. He barehandedly killed those women.

His ex-girlfriend was the reason why he killed.
She had ran away with his brother leaving him hurt so bad like crazy.
His ex-girlfriend was a beautiful blonde.

He chased them for years.
When he found them he brutally killed them.
He mutilated the poor girl into little slices.
He beheaded and castrated his brother.
Then he cast their remains into fire.
Ever since then he had never stopped killing.

His victims were always women aged between 25 and 30.
They're always blonde and blue-eyed.
He strangled them all with his hands before he buried them in his basement.

One day he mistakenly killed a brunette who was wearing a blonde wig and .
He was so startled that he stopped killing and soon after hanged himself

His mother was a beautiful brunette.

Make up your mind now.
It's now or never.
Should we **** this *******????

I see you there.
Having some drink with her.
Looking so happy and all out.
With the music thundering out loud.

She takes your hand and puts it on her.
As she looks deep into your eyes.
Such a longing and hopeful gaze.
But my heart runs cold as ice.

Then she kisses you.
Like the last drop of autumn dew.
You put your hand on her thigh.
Lingers there for a while.

I sip my last drop of wine.
Feel it seeping through this heart of mine.
People dancing on the dance floor distracting me.
But you're the only one i have come to see.

She kisses you again more.
And you touch her passionately as she jerks off like an innocent *****.
I touch my self dancing the night away.
Touch me touch her i want to say.

Touch her like you touch me
Let her in like you embrace me.
Tonight my blood would dry very soon.
With the rhythm of your passion.

Touch her like you touch me...
Touch her...
Touch her...
I want you to touch her...

He is walking down the road so happily. he is going to propose to the love of his life today. They had talked about this a few months ago. Living together without a shame. Having kids and becoming parents. What more could he want? Oh There she is standing at the door.... So beautiful and heavenly.... Looking into his eyes with such unbearable feelings.... He opens his mouth,begging on his knees....  'will you marry me........?' She smiles.''

And just like that i woke up finding myself standing in front of her house. It was raining. She had declined my proposal a few months ago. And ever since,every morning i always woke up and found myself sitting in front of her house,staring at it vaguely. The pine trees were my wittnesses. They saw a man who had been cutting wounds on his own heart.
And i walked myself home in misery.
I laid me down as i started to think of you.
If only you had said yes...
Suddenly there was a knock on the door.
I got up and i saw you there at my door.
Smiling at me....
I could not believe my eyes.
You did not say anything but kept smiling as you walked across the room closer to me.

And i find myself standing in the rain.
Right before me lies your heavenly gravestone.
My love...
My beautiful love...

I have come to see you.
But you remain silence.
I reach out to you.
And you walk away from me.

For you i have been through wounds and blood.
I ripped my heart out for you.
And crushed it into little pieces.
I wanted to show you how it hurt me to love you that much.

You turn to me.
For the very first time since you went away, you look into my eyes.
''I do not know you'' you say.

I nod my head.
I smile though it hurts to.

As i get home i walk down the hall to my room.

I can still smell your scent in here.
I can still feel your vague presence.
I can still see us making love so passionately in this bed.

Then i turn to the mirror.
I take a deep look into my soul.

My skin is getting paler.
My dark hair is getting lighter.

I raise my hands up in the air and my fingers have vanished.
I can not feel my heartbeat anymore.
I can not feel my blood running through my veins anymore.

I raise my head.
My eyes have gone.
Leaving two dark gaping holes.

My face is fading away.
I can see my own skull grinning at me.
As my skin crumbles.

Very slowly...
Very slowly i am turning into air...
You will never hear anything from me anymore.

The room is now completely empty.

Once there was an old woman who collected hundreds of dolls.
She had no family no kids.
She only lived with her dolls.
Whom she described as her children.
She would not let anyone touch them.
Or even take a look closer at them.

They need to rest, she always said.
They go out to play every night and always return home before dawn.
That is why they need to rest all day long. They need their strengths for the nights.

She even sang to them. Tucked them in every morning in their boxes.

Go to sleep, my sweet ones.
Deep in your slumber i want.
Night has grown darker.
Yet my love for you is even sweeter.

Sometimes she talked to them like talking to living kids.
She combed their hair.
She polished their porcelain skins.

When the old woman died, her neighbours buried her right beside her house, under a walnut tree.

Ever since then the neighbours have started hearing a choir of crying sad voices every night.

*Go to sleep, my sweet ones.
Deep in your slumber i want.
Night has grown darker.
Yet my love for you is even sweeter.

I feel the earth beneath my feet.
Listening to my heartbeat.
Crumbled and rotten have i.
In the dark forever i will lie.

I touch my falling-away skin.
Trying to take the hint.
Have i been i decomposing already?
While i was sleeping so tightly...

Is this how it feels being dead?
Because i feel no threat.
How long will it take for earth to digests my body completely?
Is this going to be occuring endlessly?

Have they been crying for me?
Have they been putting flowers down on my grave every christmas to remember me?
Will they make it without me around?
Will i ever see them again?

They had just buried Henry Ferguson today. He was such a handsome and generous young man. Everybody in the town felt so sad when they heard that he had died.
Away he's gone.....
Away he's gone.....
Cold was his gravestone...

Young Sarah Breinnan cried all day long.
Young Sarah Breinnan grieved all night long.
Her beloved fiancé had died.
Life seemed like a threat.

Away he's gone...
Away he's gone...
Now she's on her own...

One cold night Sarah was ready for bed. When she heard someone knocking on the door. She opened it, to her surprise. There he was....

Her dead fiancé...
Standing in front of her...
Looking into her eyes deep...
With his gaping hollow eyes...
All rotten... All bone...
Worms crawling across his face...
In and out....
In and out...

''I can not die now'' he whispered...
Such an eerie voice...
''I love you too much.....''
More worms crawled out of his mouth as he spoke.
''Marry me, Sarah Breinnan......''

Oh the stench his body emitted was terrible...
He reached out to take her hand.
And she fainted...
So beautiful was she...
She had blossomed into a beautiful woman...

The dead man bent down to touch his lover's face...
With love his tapering fingers danced across her *******...

He kissed her gently, picked her up off the floor.
And he walked away, dissapearing into the fogs....
Among the dark silhouettes of trees...
Never to be seen again...

*Sarah.... Sarah....
Could you hear me...???
I was calling you from my hollow grave...