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Dec 2010
Erzsébet Crow is so happy. Her date is going to pick her up at 7. They're going to have a romantic dinner together.
She's been walking around in the living room for 30 minutes.
''Maybe he's not coming. Maybe he's changed his mind'' says she.
''No, sweetheart. He will come'' says her mother.
''i think you should go out with Ted. His father has killed more than three hundred people'' says her father while focusing on his reading.
Erzsébeth pouts at him.
''Dad! Ted is a *****. He wouldn't even **** a dog''.
Mrs.Crow smiles at her daughter.
''Erz tell us about this boy you're going out for a **** with'' asks she.
Erz shyly smiles back at her mother.
''Okay. Do not tell anyone. His name is Zoe. And he killed Mr.President last night. He slipped a grenade in his car when nobody was looking''.
''He did??????'' screams Mrs.Crow.
Erz nods happily. But her father doesn't seem impressed.
''Oh Dad, what???'' asks she.
Mr.Crow glances at Erz curiously.
''Erz honey,i was the one who's supposed to **** Mr.President.''
Erz pouts at him again.
''Dad please be happy for me for once in your life. I've found a really great killer boy who would mutilate a thousand bodies for me''.
Mr.Crows frowns at his upset daughter.
''Erzie, i'd be happy for you if---For God's sake!!!!!!!!'' Lucifer, Erz's pittbull suddenly jumps into his lap. To his surprise the dog got a rotten juicy severed hand in his mouth.
''Oh poor Mrs.Henderson'' exclaims Mr.Crow.
''Mrs.Henderson???? My english teacher????'' shouts Erz.
''Why did you **** her????'' asks Erz, surprised.
''She drove me mad with her questions about the blood stain she found on your shoes'' says Mr.Crow.
''Henry!!!!! How could you!!??? You killed our daughter's favorite teacher'' thunders Mrs.Crow.
Mr.Crows shakes his head ''Hey at least i didn't **** your headmaster. He's such a pain in the ****. If i had you would have had to skip your classes till they found a new one for the position''.
''where did you bury her??'' Mrs.Crow asks her husband.
''The garage''.
''Oh God! Not the garage. Our smarty pants neighbour Mrs.Clayton will smell the stench and finds out and then i will have to **** her before that poor old woman runs to the police'' shouts Mrs.Crow.
''Oh Elizabeth you're just exaggeratting'' protests Mr.Crow.
Suddenly there's a knock on the door.
''Oh it must be Zoe!'' says Erz.
Mrs.Crow looks so happy. She holds her daughter tight.
''Here'' says she, handing Erz a knife ''if he tries to do anything you don't like, just stab him in the heart with this''.
Erz rolls her eyes ''Mom, i can take care of myself. I can rip his ***** out with my own hands''. Mrs.Crows giggles as she opens the door for Zoe.
''Hi Mr and Mrs.Crow!'' greets the boy politely.
''Hi! Okay have fun you guys. Remember, do not **** in exposed places. Hide the body well and leave no blood trails'' warns Mrs.Crow.
Mr.Crow forces himself to give a brief smile before he says ''Okay, Zoey. I want you to bring my daughter home in one piece. If you try to do anything i do not like to her, i'll rip your heart out and eat it, and then i pull your ***** off and give them to my dog'' Lucifer barks his yes.
Mr and Mr.Crow watch their daughter walk away with her first date. They know their little girl has now turned into a big psychopath girl.
Written by
   Katrina Kovach
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