Trembling I hold the scalpel in my hand
I know what I have to do
I have diagnosed myself and come to the conclusion that
It has to be cut off.
I can feel the pain spreading through my limbs
like liquid lead
cold.

Sometimes, he's just not that into you.

You're a flower pressed tightly
between the pages of my heart

The trees are dancing

A Tango

May thunderstorms

Shadowy wings struggling through black mists
Muddy clouds conceal the sun
While a girl is waiting there
Where the sky meets the tip of the old oak tree
Where the wind covers the earth
And fire dances in its hearth

Bring me happiness she tells the bird
So I can colour black, bald earth
Bring me the light of thousand stars
So I can heal all grey, old hearts
Fly far, move fast and swift
The weight of Darkness help me lift

And Raven flew, wet through the clouds
Through shredded glass and empty crowds
Across the icy ocean fire
Above the fields of sticky mire

Last night I dreamed of fire,
it was cold and flickering softly.
In the moonlight by the shore,
stood a man that was Darkness,
Night was dripping from his shoulders.

But he would not tend the fire, his mistress.
No matter how hard she begged,
her flames lingering in the night.
Crying softly, haunting tunes.
Water crashing on the dunes.

Icy, chilly, burning lifeless.
There it shone into the night,
under Darkness' cruel sight.
Fading, crawling in despair,
and alone she died, no care.

Hunger was digging into her soul
Beauty was crawling up her limbs
Roses were clenching thorn covered fists
Madness filled the fiery hole

Heaven and earth threw bullets of ice
Ashen winds covered the skies
Wet sun washed colors away
She was still bound by blood dripping chains

I put my love for you in a jar
And placed it on the dusty shelf
in the cellar.
This way I can pretend it's not there anymore
Tucked away in a dark corner of my heart

think  old
grey earth
wind time
just black
care softly
catch tunes
hearts phoenix
skies shadow
icy flames
cold clouds
wet love
bring away
chains soldiers
madness tendrils
bullets fired
bound fields
rose splashing
lingering dances
shadowy sticky
heal swift
awe cried
grip haunting
rustling relaxed
treading crowds
lured flickering
conceal battles
leaving crumbs
feet touch
dare hiding
friends arm
shadows living
new friend
pain girl
dawn dance
cruel stone
seconds light
best forever
arms held
help people
trying fast
blood soul
suddenly gazing
threw falling
woke stones
fading ocean
crows despair
fly wings
thousand burning
finally glimpse
gentle water
embrace man
waiting unforgiving
stop ice
rain tears
far weight

Whenever I think I'd figured you out
I find myself entangled even more
You're ever changing, just like the path that winds itself through the woods
And I am ever lost in them

I wonder if the stabs are really
acupuncture

I thought that if I woke
Early
I might just catch a glimpse of you
Leaving

I tried to catch a shadow once
spoke to it softly, lured it out with crumbs of darkness
I tried to tame a shadow once
gaining his trust by living in black corners and drinking night together out of the same cup
I dare not say we became friends, but sometimes we dance away the moonless nights together

Everything changes when she leaves
Your cocky smile makes it's way up your
lips
And you shift closer, so that we barely
touch
You hold my gaze for ages, and whisper inappropiate things into my
ear
You seem to forget about her and your body language tells me you want to do
a lot more than flirting.

You forget about her when you're with me. But I
don't.
So please
stop.

Sandy ashes on the stone
Where the cold fire had died
Where once mighty flames had shone
A foggy dawn after the night

Old sun was gazing down in awe
Upon the ashes grey as wind
And suddenly a fiery claw
Escaped the unforgiving grip

And as the rain sang chilly tunes
Trying to suffocate the pain
The ashes on the sandy dunes
Released the coals hiding within
And mighty Phoenix rose again.

If I could wish for a superpower
It would be to control
my falling
in love

I was born half in a wall
they Said there was nothing to be done
about It
So I grew with the wall and outside
of It

I am half stuck in a brick wall
but
It's fine because I
can STILL
half-smile

I am half-hidden inside a brick wall
smoking half-truths and half-moons

Also, maybe

not going

anywhere

I've been searching for poems
I can relate to
It's three in the morning and I didn't find anything
It should be about a girl falling in love with a dreamweaver
Anyone care to write it?

Where is Darkness? Where his beast?
Where do mighty eagles feast?
Fire's dead, the wind is still
and shallowness is all I feel

It didn't happen when you first said you care about me
not even the second time you uttered those words
It didn't happen when you said you were my best friend
in this new city
It didn't happen when you told me to lay my head on your shoulder
and I finally relaxed in your gentle embrace
It didn't happen when you held me close in your arms
just a few seconds longer

I think I know when it happened

It happened when you were crying in your car
When we were surrounded by three other people
And I couldn't bear to see your despairing face in the rearview mirror
It was when I stretched my arm out to touch you,
like it was the first time
It was when I cried together with you for what felt like forever
When I felt every ounce of your misery and sorrow
I didn't care what the others would think.
That was the first time I told you
I love you
It's just now that I realize
You don't love me back

I know. For a while now, I've known. I must be a writer. It's not a wish, a dream, an aspiration. It's a need. A feeling that if I don't find a way of putting my thoughts unto paper, they'll claw their way out, and leave me a carcass of miasma. Leaving me to rot.
I may not write beautifully. Make grave mistakes. I have no idea if there are any rules, hell I might've broken all of them by now.
But I don't care. I don't strive to be great. I won't be any Gaiman, Atwood or Tolkien (Yes those are the first names that popped into my mind). Not taught in public schools, probably never published.
But all that doesn't matter to me. Writing is not a choice. It's a necessity.

I planted a garden of fire-flowers on your lips
and watered them with my kisses
Tend the flame between my ribs and
feed me with your nectar of Hope

Grey wind rustling through
leaves
Ash falling
down
from the skies
Tears splashing over
stones
Feet treading
on fire
Crows crying in the
shadows
Soldiers fighting
battles
Hearts beating
slowly
Stop.

Let's not fall for each other you said
and then proceeded to make love to me
It's like you telling me to go swimming
and not get wet
Affection, such a nasty side-effect

They came on a rainy evening
Rising shadows with
Roots crawling underneath
Damp earth
Clutching
They stole my scream

I haven't seen you in 15 days
my soul is scattered

Irrational
Fortunately poems don't have to make sense

If I could just tone it down

It's like an itch I can't scratch
A wound I can't bind
Blood seeps out and I can't do anything about it

I just wish I could erase the memory of your touch lingering on my skin...

I hate the fact that you know I have feelings for you
And I hate knowing that you don't

We are seeing

each other

casually

Stepping carefully

over riverstones

catch me!

The memory of
You
          still
lingering
           in my
           thoughts

Sometimes things are better left untold
As long as they dwell in my head,
They do not seem real
And I can convince myself that
Dark thoughts pass
I only have to change my own mind
But when I told you about it
And saw your eyes widen with disappointment
It seemed more real than ever
My worst fears seem to have taken life now
Lingering in the space between us
Now I have to persuade you too, that it was only
My mind
Playing tricks
On me

Looking back
I see your back

This is me

This is me

I am the stars, millions

Knife in apple

just keep

smoking