sarahlyx: Favorites

Oct 2020 sarahlyx

tranquil

What can win against time, someone asked me
reminiscing the journey which started eighteen months ago
with me and him philosophizing intricacies of life
and human emotion
relishing the daily luxuries of satisfying debates
when little did I know that we would walk all along
fighting demons in our own being
surviving closed ends of fate
and loneliness

The man I got to learn of
his real, gentle and calm soul
comforted with the truth of a warm heart
eventually knocking out the dread
of long distances between us
relinquishing the storms in our minds
embracing sparkles of different weathers

Shall it really last forever
self-contained
or burst out with emotion
believing
it really is us
together
and our love fueled by faith in search of its way
which outlasts time
a shining beacon
in midst of an ocean of crowded wilderness.

poem requested by a friend

#love #hope #emotion #long-distance

Oct 2020 sarahlyx

Speechless

Oct 2020 sarahlyx

Kay Ireland

Speechless

Let me show you
All the words I cannot find.
Let me write them
On your neck in faded lipstick stains.
Close your eyes.
Listen to my shaking hands.
They have a code of their own,
One that only you can understand.
Listen to them rattle against your chest.
Feel the heat of my breath
Glide over your cheek.
Listen to what it’s telling you.
Feel my teeth tug at your bottom lip.
Let me get as close to you as I can
Without losing myself completely.
I can’t say this aloud.
Just listen to my body,
Decipher the language it speaks, wordlessly.
Somewhere in this mess,
The purest love I could ever muster.
A diamond
In all of our rough.

It's getting more difficult being without him.

#love #depression #anxiety #romance #long-distance

Oct 2020 sarahlyx

Starry Night

Oct 2020 sarahlyx

Katarina

Starry Night

Lace my waist
Until I can no longer breathe
My sweet darling
Your fevered skin burns
As sweet as the most sickly candy

And I hold my bones

And you softly, gently,
**** me a little more
Each time that your ***** blue lips
Graze my porcelain skin
And you stop breathing

Just for a while

And the snow drips in my throat
Even then,
I feel nothing.
Your narcotic dove, a hand on her neck
And her soul remains

Empty

#love #lust #loss #***** #tumblr #romantic #likeforlike #marinaandthediamonds #lanadelrey

Oct 2020 sarahlyx

Ask Me One More Time

Oct 2020 sarahlyx

Bec Miller

Ask Me One More Time

You ask me
to ******* my body
in return
for what you already owe me.

You ask me
to forgive you
for all the harm
and pain you caused.

So ask me
one more time,
and wait a moment.

Soon, you will feel
my pain,
burning in the Hell Fire
you call your heart.

Oct 2020 sarahlyx

Skin

Oct 2020 sarahlyx

Bec Miller

Skin

I'm tired of my skin
and what it speaks
of my past
and the knowledge
it gives to people
who will never know me.

I'm sick of putting holes
and cold metal jewelry
in the only body
I will ever have.

Razor blades and needles
are long left in my past
*so why does my skin
still tell their story?

Oct 2020 sarahlyx

jump

Oct 2020 sarahlyx

Bec Miller

jump

she said "jump"
and so I did
expecting to land in the clouds
but instead I fell into reality
with pills in the nightstand
and scars on my wrists.

Oct 2020 sarahlyx

tell me

Oct 2020 sarahlyx

Bec Miller

tell me

Am I the only one
who feels this way?
Like my stomach
is coming up through my mouth
and my mind is buzzing
the black words swarming
like bees behind my eyes
and in my mouth
and the words won't come
because you are the only one
I can say them too.

Why can't I talk to you?
I need you to tell me
that you feel the same things
and that your heart is going to explode
that your mind won't turn off
the thoughts of me.

And your clothes sit
at the foot of my bed
and I struggle with thoughts
of both keeping and returning them.

Last night I gave back your jacket-
the one that used to smell like you
and now smells like
stale smoke from my cigarettes
with broken pieces of tobacco
lining the pockets-
I threw it at you
insisting you take it
even though you
wanted me to have it
and I didn't mean to
but if you let me
I would have held on to it forever
and slept in its embrace
pretending it was yours
but I don't want to pretend.

I want to wake up
next to you every morning
and kiss you awake
and rub your back to sleep
every night.
Why did you take that away from me?
From us?

I want to run to you
to tell you this,
to tell you how I feel,
so I can know
if you feel the same way.

Oct 2020 sarahlyx

words

Oct 2020 sarahlyx

Bec Miller

words

the words cling to my teeth
hold on to my tongue
never letting go,
never letting me go.

the words
that would set me free
and lock you up
behind bars, rotting
the way you deserve to.

but these are the words
I could never utter aloud
to anyone who would listen.

I could never tell my mother
I was drinking that night
alone with older boys
that I accepted the drugs
he handed to me,
seemingly so kind.

I could never let my father hear
how he touched me,
how a man so much older
took my clothes from my body
and touched me in a way
no one gets to touch me.

and so the words sit
inside me
choking me
slowly gripping my thoughts
filling my mind
with swarming bees
and my mouth with blood
the metallic taste
of what he did to me.

I could never tell
anyone who would listen
anyone who could help
I can never tell
I will never tell
I will never say the words.

Oct 2020 sarahlyx

drunk habits

Oct 2020 sarahlyx

Bec Miller

drunk habits

I used to dance
the way some girls cry
and some girls lie
to get out of that mess
of always feeling like less
than they're actually worth.

And now I can't forget
the time he watched
and completely botched
that simple hello
because I simply said no
but he didn't listen.

And it's unnerving to me
that my "no" wasn't enough
and then he got rough
because he wanted to have me
and he refused to see
I wasn't his to have.

Now I don't dance
I need to feel protected
and momentarily connected
to whoever happens to be there
I convince myself they care
but then I met you

And you held me for real
and I started to feel
like I wanted to dance again.