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Say it's true,
that life's worth all the dying
we do.
- M. P. J.
I have no expectation for things to last.
Everything has a clock, an expiration date, an erosive half-life.
After taking stock of my current relationships,
I realized I'm hesitant to invest in people
because I don't think people will stick around.

People change.
People leave.

And for people who don't deal with change well
like me
that means
a sort of implosion.
Humans constantly assume different roles.

Mothers become grandmothers,
friends become strangers,
brothers become fathers.

With that, even family will leave you behind--
out of sight out of mind.
And I haven't been thought of in such a long time
I begin to think
no one will ever see me again.
Now I'm just wishing I can be useful in some way, so I can stop feeling like the world is tired of carrying me.

I sit,
watching people pass by as their world changes,
and mine falls apart.
 Nov 2016 Sarah DeeSarah
I am
    bound by the
  belief that

  all of its
                           dark tunnels
                following tracks
                    of hurt  
   caused by someone who
    claims to
                       have cared,
          of empty promises
                                        vacant of any feeling
                      washing your dreams
into a sewer system
                      of nightmares
                     twisted stairways
of all that was shared      
               crumbling beneath
the weight of a
                      broken heart
gets no better
than this,

        and I am
       by the
                 that it

                                               eventually ends
I just wish it would hurry the hell up
Thank you to all of my friends here for your kindness and for making this life a little bit more bearable. Sometimes though the pain is just too much.
 Nov 2016 Sarah DeeSarah
Buddy T
don't worry
I can fake it
I can fake my happiness
for your enjoyment
this Halloween will be different than the others. For the first time I'm not excited for Halloween, I'm sad
She had the beauty of cherry blossoms
and the tragedy of
a dead love song tattooed on her arm
Her smile held the promise of beauty
but I couldn't help but notice
her lips were stained with fresh blood
And I couldn't speak
but she didn't seem to mind
as it wasn't the secrets I could speak that her eyes were hunger to discover
She peeled off my skin without removing my clothes and was ravaging my soul with the perfection of forbidden pleasures before she had even spoke her name
She pulled my heart from between my ribs without breaking any bones and twisted my spine around her fingers as she wrote what people called her in my pulse
but she whispered of the secret
of who she really was
when no one was around
And I was helplessly hers
but only a whim of the moment
and nothing more than something to ****
and leave for the fishes
at the bottom of her sea
And it didn't matter
as all I could was hum along
with the song on her arm
and fall with the leaves
of her cherry blossom tree
I have written you one-hundred and twenty-six love poems
On the backs of forgotten receipts and used napkins
Among scribbled equations on calculus exams
And yet still you do not care for me enough
To even write my name
On the front of a tiny strip of paper
Let alone the palm of your hand
Or where I would like it to be
At the center of your heart
We can never go back,
but we can go on!

By Lady R.F ©2016
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