When iam alone
I let myself believe
Just for a moment
That he misses me too
That maybe he thinks of me
When the sky turns soft
And the world slows down.

Bt it's not real
It's just me
Doing all the loving
In my thoughts.

You will find me on the last page on
that book we never finished.

The chapters may have ended,
but I left a blank page just for you.

I have all this love
And nowhere to put it
It's rotting inside me
Soft,warm
Unspent.

I reach out in dreams
But wake up alone
His name buried in my throat
Like a secret
I was not allowed to say.

He didn't stay
But the love did
And now it grows wild
Inside a heart
With no one left
To give it to.

From just a stranger I did not know.
To a friend I could learn about though.

From a friend who made me smile for days.
To a secret crush who set my heart ablaze.

From a crush I was scared to get too close.
To my partner, who loved me and it shows.

From my partner, I could see a life together.
To my future, any problems we could weather.

From my future, with plans that only grew,
Became a stranger, I completely knew.

So the old addage says:
"Grief is the price we pay for love."
Never knew how true it was,
until I had to grieve my love.

three hundred and eighty days,
yet still I grieve for what we had.

I do not regret loving you.
I regret how hard I loved,
that I'm forced to continue
paying the price of love.