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After 2 old fashions this conversation will lead to disaster.

I will become devilish and charming.

My slightly glazed eyes will see into your soul.

Or so you think.

The sunrise will greet us and reveal the truth.

But why bother.

Just let awkward silence do it’s job, and let the morning roll on.
I wanted to die.
I want to hate you for this.
Beating a dead horse,

but you taught me love.
You taught me to be patient.
You taught  me to care.

To have empathy.
To be unconditional,
and unrequited.

To give hope away,
to wish the best for someone.
To turn a light on.

You left me behind.
If you are alone, I hope
you remember me.

Remember I care.
I still cared. I don't hold pain.
I hold these fragments,

and offer them to
something in the wind; asking,
"Can this be whole again?"
She is dripping wet, standing outside my door.

The rain had been unkind, and had my words.

So many nights I’d been drunk off of her smile.

So many nights she’d been dragged through my lies.

I beat my hands upon the walls, wanting to break them.

So she could never again fit her fingers between mine.

But still she stood, rain soaked and stubborn.

Her voice like soft lightning, striking again and again.

That ****** giggle…

As if her pain were a laughing matter.

As if her love wasn’t misguided.

As if I weren’t the monster I thought I was/wanted to be.

That ****** giggle…

Broke me, cut me, crippled me, busted me wide open.

(Door swings open)

“Come in.”
 Feb 2016 Samuel Hesed
POSSIBLE
A festering toad, happening upon his friend the owl, began upon an uttering. A sort of delirious asking. "Why are people so afraid of death?" With this owl content and basking in the moonlight, they did speak upon the truth of the matter;

"Because when you're dead you're dead see?," the owl remarked so haphazardly.

"But what point is there in that statement," the frog stuttered in with a knowing kind of sinful grin;
"After death, could we not begin to fly with the stars, or at least just pretend that we are orbiting Mars?"

The owl simply replied, "Remember toad, while it is I who pierces the veil, it is you who must lead the spirit parade through it’s transformation."

The toad croaked a sigh at the owl, blinking its ever seeing eyes at his brother-in-arms in feigning return,remarking that “these must truly be times of madness for a mad toad to lead the way….

A shriek! "THEY ARE THOUGH, the rest of the animals forget, basic reality is made up of nothingness, so cheer up, we are all basically nothing, but agile enough to get by don’t cha know!," the owl looks to the moon in its sort of quick jerking way as if seeing some truth inked in it’s light.

"Agile?" the toad cups the question with his consciousness…."Agile enough to derive strength from above and to cater to love through the rough when we tumble hard and it feels so tough... But you know owl, there's life and blood to this stuff so we best start emitting light through  agape sans the gruff.

The toad started repeating a mantra towards the Crystalline reflective lake due south, the direction of healing, transformation, and death:

"the essence of your mind is intrinsically pure, the pure doesn’t mean a non-***** story...pure means clear….void. No eyes, no ears, no mouth, no heart, no I, no problem."

The owl began to speak a slow sort of lullaby in response to the mantra; “Luckily consciousness is like a mirror that needs to constantly be polished.”

The reflective lake of all things replied: “But in truth, there is no mirror. Thus, if you are living in nothingness and if there is no mirror, how can you be contaminated?

This is the most incredible nothing life has been privy to experience, for this nothingness is like the nothingness of space….which contains the whole universe, and out of this void comes everything and you are it. The fear of nothingness….IT plagues those we know, because it has been ignored .

“NOTHINGNESS,” they say, “HEAVEN PRESERVE US OF THAT!“

At the appointed time Agnosia and with the approval of the moonlights shine, the foggy cloud of unknowing descended upon the lake, the toad, and the owl, who all began to speak to chorus in such sweet unison:

“That which is the knower or the known cannot be an object of its own knowledge, Fire does not burn itself. If you put something there on the divine platform, you stop short of knowing and you stop short of glowing.  Following the flowing senses of truth;  Don't stop until you can rejoice in the I that isn’t.”

Everything went quiet in the forest and on the lake, as the obtuse fog displaced itself. The forgetting had become complete.
epilepsy
 Feb 2016 Samuel Hesed
Blue Flask
And honey
Oh honey,
The songs on the radio
Are just your words in a different voice
And the wind tickling my skin
Is just your voice carried from so far
And the bitter coffee
The reason why I'm doing so well here
Is just your dark humor flowing out of the cup

And honey
Oh honey,
The pillows just don't feel the same without you
And these warm winter days
Seem just as cold without you in my arm
The nights seem just a bit darker
And the future a little bit less clear
Without you now

And honey
Oh honey,
The beating of my heart
Is just you whispering that is wasn't me
And the pain in my chest
Is you breaking the glass that resides there
And water ruining your mascara
Is just the mask you gave me
And the words flowing like the sweet taste of alcohol
Neither of us really want to remember do we?

Honey
Oh honey,
The car seat was as soft as your hand
And the wind in my face
Was being in your presence
And the headlights from other cars
Was your peircing glaze
And the cold in my heart
Was the last thing I have to remember you bye
 Feb 2016 Samuel Hesed
POSSIBLE
TMD..Too many dreams, not enough dreamers.
DMT
Transcendent level of realities,
neurological radio transmitting divine consciousness to filter out daily fallacies.
Collapse in consciousness, Dismantle the physiological boundaries to achieve the pinnacle of a conglomeration of spiritual transformation.
Reconnect with spirit,
So help us Gaia, so help us universal nexus. Without even seeing you, i feel it deeply in my solar plexus,
That we are all connected---
And through our hearts we are protected, we are alive and have been selected to march towards a new paradigm, each soul duly elected;
through this process of love, and support from the synchronicity club,
cleaning up sin city’s pub with our rhymes
Going through  lines and lines of authentic self cravers…. just to deal with jah created vacuums of reverse lasers wielded by ravers.

******’s thoughts to be psychonauts,
Hiding doubts without the slightest worries
Your mind’s a box, minuscule with so many boundaries
But mine is vibrant, vividly stylish and keeps recurring
The past is blurry, barely searching, yea I think u heard me

The skell of the bass leaves zinn in his place
So witness what’s great, see its simply sinful so straight
We empty bliss into our systems till we hallucinate
And then we’re up for days, blazed and drained, turned insane
Time to recuperate

Truth is paradox, Fancy words in a box
Experiential knowledge overlookin the edge

Speak of time as a mystery of the mind
Vivid skies make you realize there is never a bind

Perception of life, simply reflection
Present moment with a longer extension
Don’t even mention your problems
Because We already solved em.

Mescaline and bliss sends me to heaven but with drips
Mix them together nice, chop it fine and I'm ready to commit
Never thinking twice not hesitant, not I
Meditation to astral projection, its my nature to fly

In this world you have to take what you can find for fear of someone ripping it from your grasp in some desperate act of power.  Knowing this, I would give mine away before the final hour.  What a cruel game we play, torturing the self with a recreation of falsified rules.  We can never create until we imagine the tools.

I am not the prophet, but I can still predict the future.
I am not the savior, but I can point out the vulture.
The martyr selfishly lives vicariously through the lives of his followers.

Bored in a solar system
I see the greatest kingdom
Geometric, moving pattern
Static coughing
orbit Saturn

Hold that ****,
true words spoke
Realize that life a joke.
COLLAB ZINN: SEE https://soundcloud.com/zinncity for some conscious Music.
 Feb 2016 Samuel Hesed
Anna
There is no way you could love me if you knew me.
It is not possible to be so self-inflicted
These wounds you dig yourself
But your blood is under my nails.
There is no way you could love me
Love this disease that is in my head
Selfish, consumingly distain my mind
Don’t kiss my scars
You’re only opening them again
Don’t tell me they will heal
Because time has never been my friend.
Don’t love me.
Don’t destroy yourself like this.
Don’t let me do this to you.
Leave while there is still color in your mornings
And cramping smiles in company.
Leave while you can still taste food
While you still have a reason to be awake.
Don’t let me ruin you.
 Feb 2016 Samuel Hesed
CharlesC
It is a cluster
those thoughts
feelings and perceptions
which seem to define
the individual I
my separate self..
After our birth
the mind steps forth
applying ****** form
to the cluster..
A cluster in separation
comes with the
unease and longing
which we all suffer..
Prompting a search
as two-edged sword:
the search reaches
for objects
and is unsatisfied
again and again..
Until in futility
a morning dawns
with the knowing
I am already
more than the cluster
and amazingly
the cluster is
made of That
which I am...
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