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Aug 2015 · 688
Redundancy
laurie Aug 2015
When you have no money nobody wants to know,
Being made redundant, my morale is feeling low.

Waiting on the government to process my claim,
Can't pay my bills, I'm panicking, but I am not to blame.

Creditors chasing me, letters piling up behind the door, powerless to do a thing, but this I can't ignore.

Loosing the will slowly, my head hurts from all the pleading, my children and my dog they will soon need feeding.

No support available, this walk I must do alone, crying myself to sleep, I could have been prepared if I had known.

My world has suddenly collapsed, the domino effect has begun, rippling through my cash flow, this summer isn't feeling fun.

The days are feeling empty, to broke to go anywhere, trying to scrape together copper so I can treat my children to the fair.

Relentless job searches, I'm tearing at my hair, when you are left without a penny and there's no one around to care.

Holding my head in my hands, trying to keep things together, depressed and down I hope this isn't forever.

Fighting off the feelings, trying not to take it to heart, hurt that I worked so hard, from the very start.

I was always there, worked overtime for free, helped out when things were bad, stupid, silly me.

Its ok for the big boys, their wage it tripled mine,
They may be in the same boat, but they will just be fine.

Pacing the walls I'm slowly slipping into madness,
Clinging onto hope, getting lost deep inside the sadness.

A temporary glitch, I'm hoping I will be able to recover, its times like this we need help from one another.

Scared, more terrified but what's worse is I feel alone, trying hard to keep upbeat, trying to remain in good tone.  

My children too young to understand, and my dog just looks at me funny. Not realising the world is dominated by that paper stuff called money.

My thoughts are racing vividly, trying to capture an idea, paralysed by the sudden shock along with intense fear.

My world has collided, my heart begins to fade,
All of this could have been prevented, If only I'd been paid.
Aug 2015 · 415
Boarded onto the Boats
laurie Aug 2015
Boarded onto the boats by the hundred's, desperate to flea their own land, leaving with only essentials, families firmly holding hands.

Desperate to escape from the cruel environment they face, loosing everything they are feeling in disgrace.

Another tragic ending the story published worldwide, there's no refuge for our brothers, no where for them to hide.

I often wonder if we deserve the world we were given, so many are suffering in the life that they are living.

Unimaginable circumstances, men, women and children too, there's got to be a way, surely there's something we can do.


Boarded on to the boats by the hundred's, their fate is still unclear, the horrific journey begins, they are overcome by the fear.
Mar 2015 · 924
Reaching out
laurie Mar 2015
Reaching out to her father but he doesn't want to know, the pain behind her eyes you can see she's feeling low.

Reaching out for answers its been almost thirty years, left empty inside wondering why he never cares.

Reaching out for love from her father in which she has craven, trying to settle the storm within to create her own inner sweet haven.

Reaching out to his stepdaughter over social media, after years of engine searches from google to wikipedia.

Reaching out for a chance to meet the dad who got scared and closed the door, another slap in the face from her big brown eyes the tears they pour.

Reaching out for closure to understand what she did that was wrong, the need to seem him daily is forever growing strong

Reaching out for his explanation he can't even give her that, not even in a letter or face to face in chat.

Reaching out in hope that somehow, someday just maybe, he'll fall in love with her again just like when she was a baby.

Reaching out for his affection she's missed out on having her dad, all the father daughter things, something she has never had.

Reaching out in desperation it hurts her deep and raw, something that has never healed it hurts right through to the core.

Reaching out to her daddy she's not mad or full of hate, she won't accept that this was written as part of her own fate.
Feb 2015 · 370
❤ I See
laurie Feb 2015
I see the pain in your eyes, the sadness in your reflection, I should have loved you a little more, I should have saved you from rejection.

I see the hurt in your emotion, your longing for my heart, but day by day I'm pushing us further apart.

I'm numb to any feeling, of emotions like love, set me free, if only, I want to fly far and above.

So don't think I don't care, my love for you is pure, only the expression that is faulty it's something I'm trying to cure.

I see the troubles I have caused you, I'll admit that I've done wrong, lets build bridges together and make our love binding  strong.

I see now I never showed you any affection inside, too frightened I ran from you, to protect my feelings I would hide.

I see your efforts to wow me, worship me holey, all alone in your trying you've been doing this solely.  

I've never learnt how to love, always feeling ice cold, warm me up with your passion I don't want to be like this when I'm old.

I see how my actions have caused your loving heart to crumble, I'm sorry for your sorrow, I'll try and catch you from the stumble.

I see if I don't wake up or defrost my frozen heart, I'm going to miss out on my one true love and I know you'll want to part.

So take these words as my token, on paper I hope that it make's sense, please understand I've never felt love these feelings are intense.

Something which I'm still learning, each and everyday, I hope and pray this poem will be enough to make you stay.
Feb 2015 · 380
Make Me
laurie Feb 2015
Make me understand, make me see your way, I never get your point of view or the things that you say.

Make me see your vision, make me catch your drift, all of this quarreling is making us adrift.

Make me see what's real, since you say my ways are crazy, to me they are the truth but you insist that they are hazy.  

Make me get the point, I don't always understand, this conflict is confusing it's something I can't stand.

Make me feel ok about the person inside of me, I am not blind, I just don't see the things you see.
Feb 2015 · 367
Always
laurie Feb 2015
Always riding the tide, never quite reaching the shore, searching deeply for something, this I cant ignore.

Always hoping and waiting, to feel the change in the water, longing to feel the calm now I'm no longer your daughter.

Always pondering thoughts, collectively stored upon my mind, not to certain either on what I'm trying to find.

Always wanting more, never feeling content or at ease, trying to keep the balance, always aiming to please.

Always riding the tide, never quite reaching the shore, not wanting to feel, feel this way anymore.
Dec 2014 · 451
Our son
laurie Dec 2014
I am nieve to believe your sickening excuse,
But for our son remain to keep the peace, I called upon a truce.

It's not fair that you dare, you act like you don't care.

I am stupid for understanding,
It's not like I'm a ***** or even ridiculously demanding.

He's your son, he should be your saviour
I'm shocked by your ways and selfish behaviour.  

I am a fool to let you rule this situation isn't cool.

A distant father but your not that far away,
Never interested in his schooling or parent teacher day.

I am fed up of hearing your always hard done by, yet you can afford to party don't you think that's just sly?

You go on like we live in outer space,
You never call or ask about him, to your own disgrace.

I am sick I've had this for nine years,
Our boy he thinks that nobody cares.

Two days out of fourteen you parent our son,
more bothered by drink not by the damage that's done.

I am scared our son is being effected,
when you let him down I can see he feels rejected.

You only have one chance to share these moments, strangled by your image and your lifes long torments.  

I am here everyday  by his side,
the pain he is feeling, he cannot hide.

When age catches up and your reminiscing,
I'll be sure to know you'll regret the memories you are missing.

I'm not mad, just sad, our boy needs his dad,
he should never have to feel like he's done something bad.

And when you wake up from the lifestyle you've live, I hope our son is able to forgive.
Dec 2014 · 406
Father Christmas
laurie Dec 2014
Father Christmas where did he come from?
On Christmas Eve we all leave him a feast,
Along with some carrots to share with his beast.

Reindeer dust we sprinkle on our lawn,
tucked up in bed we get excited for dawn.

Lavish gifts more than one we receive,
but why is it in Father Christmas that we all believe?

Pretending each year that this man is magic,
he's not real I found this so very tragic.

Father Christmas he's just make believe,
your mum and your dad hide the presents you receive

It's really confusing how we create these lies,
stories of Santa's sleigh and how he loves  mince pies.

His famous red suit and his long white beard, finding out he's a fake is something I always feared.

Flying the world all in one night,
a sack full of toys for our children's delight.

Father Christmas who invented this man?
An image created we believe that he can.
Oct 2014 · 298
I've
laurie Oct 2014
I've made mistakes I've been uncool, You can't use this as your tool.

I've said sorry more than once already, Your making this relationship become unsteady.


I've cried in shame I am to blame, Your now different your not the same.


I've begged for forgiveness, pleaded with you. What else do you want me to do?

I've stopped going out, there's no need to shout. Control is what this is all about.

I've lost myself along the way, frightened you'd leave, praying you'd stay.

I've done ****** up things, hurt you inside, But punishing me forever I cant abide.

I've put life on hold, inside I'm scared putting up with this I would never have dared


I've lost the will to recover, Maybes I'm not meant to be your lover.

I've gave up inside I've died, I've lost count of how many times I've tried.
Oct 2014 · 339
Have you ever
laurie Oct 2014
Have you ever had a situation where your feeling crazy? Left in this world alone things are looking hazy.


Have you ever felt secluded? Somehow you've gone deluded, in your mind someone has intruded.


Have you ever lost your way? Barely surviving through the day, at night you beg and pray.

Have you ever lost yourself or mistreated your own health?

Have you ever retrieved that something you once believed? Too much hurt you have received.


Have you ever found the light so bright it blinds your sight? It sparks the fire to fight.

Have you ever been in recovery? Your too shocked by your discovery.


Have you ever had that dark cloud? Inside your screaming so loud, trying to do yourself proud.

Have you ever lost the motion? Your hoping for a potion, or some magic kind of lotion to get control of your emotion.

Have you ever felt ok? Even if its just for one day you try to runaway.


Have you ever woken from your illusions? wrapped up in your scary delusions, you cant take anymore intrusions.

Have you ever felt numb? People treating you like you're dumb, is this the life that you've succumb?


Have you ever found strength where you'd go to any length? To come first not always tenth.

Have you ever been rejected? Your heart is now infected like a drug you've just injected.

Have you ever made a decision where you bleed from the incision? You've lost yourself and your vision.

Have you ever felt free? Given all that you can be there's a brighter future for me.
Oct 2014 · 275
You get them people
laurie Oct 2014
You get them people in life who look down there nose at you, there obvious behaviours, transparent in what they do.

Arrogant attitude they show you no respect, treat you like dirt like you are an insect.

They don't acknowledge you when you say hi,
I wouldn't even bother its not worth the try.

You get them people in life who think they are something there not, their bitterness inside as they begin to rot.

They sit up on a pedestal ordering you about,
power of authority from their lungs they shout.

You get them people in life who are bitter and sour, too much overdrive from the who power.

But they can never make you feel like you have no right, stand up to these types of people they'll crumble with the fight.
Oct 2014 · 240
let us go back
laurie Oct 2014
Let us go back to the way we were when we first met, lets not fill our days with sadness which later we'll regret.

Take me back to the happy place when the times we had were funny, lets not fill our days with darkness make them bright and sunny.

Let us go back to that special time where we both were shy, stop all of the fighting please don't make me cry.

Take me in your arms hold me close to you,
Believe I'm sorry for my mistakes, my love for you is true.

Let us live the life we are dreaming it to be,
stop all this craziness its destroying you and me.

Take my word when I say I'd be lost without you here, I don't always show it but to me you are so dear.

Let us wipe the slate clean back to how it was back then, you are the man for me there's no room for other men.

I love you with my heart please don't think that I'm cold, I hope you stick around until we're grey and old.
Sep 2014 · 318
I came
laurie Sep 2014
I came here for a new life,  came her for the change. I don't want to be the victim, feeling that I'm to blame.

I came here to be happy live life freely, came here to do this, I don't want to feel the shame.

So please don't hate me understand my reason,
Inside my hearts warm, it's the cold outside that is freezing.

I came here for my kids, to create the dream,
Came here to escape the sad things that I have seen.

I came here to be strong, to escape these dark places I have been.

So please, please understand, see it through my eyes, living in your world rapped around your lies.

I came here to live, I've given it my all,
Came here to witness, the rise or the fall

I came here to fight one day I will win,
Came here to be brave, to wash away the sin.

So please just let me be, this time away will do no harm, searching for that peace, the still, the warmth and the calm.
Sep 2014 · 399
Like everything in life
laurie Sep 2014
Like everything in life there has to be a balance,


I'm not talking about your wardrobe or your pretty valance.

A mixture of feelings all cooked up in a ***,
blending together nicely,
if you leave them they will rot.

Weighing out ingredients,
preparing is the key
Opening the door to all that you can be,

It comes with consequences,
if you try to jump the steps,

you will fall off the ladder,
back
to the darkest depths.

Its not about perfection,

in life you'll make mistakes,
learn from them as you will,
beware of the snakes and fakes.

Like every in life, there has to be love,
like the angels watching over us,
from the stars that shine above.
Sep 2014 · 229
Along the road
laurie Sep 2014
Along the road we go, the dusty ***** track
too afraid too understand, holding hands we don't look back.

In the middle of darkness, gripped by that of fear, the sound of silence this is somewhat clear.

Along the road we go, we start to hit the bend,
waving off the old way, life is on the mend.

We reach our destination, at first it's feeling strange, welcome to the feeling, which is that of change.

Along the road we go, new places to explore,
feeling like we're living, life no longer seems a chore.
Sep 2014 · 458
Dream a dream of any
laurie Sep 2014
Dream a dream of any,

make a wish upon the penny,
at the wishing well,

only your dreams you can tell,
to break the retched spell,
of your living hell.
Sep 2014 · 298
For all
laurie Sep 2014
For all the love in the world, make sure its worth your own,
Don't forget to love yourself, remember to set the tone,

For all the jewels on the crown, make sure you never frown,
even when your fed up, there's no way you're going to drown,

For all the rights to freedom, sacrifice you need,
at times you'll want to give up, its the strength you must now feed,

For all the bad in the land, reach out and share your heart,
It may not make a difference but it sure is the way to start.
Sep 2014 · 332
Grace yourself
laurie Sep 2014
Grace yourself  because it's not about wealth,
more importantly it's about your health.

Grace yourself because it's not about money,
It causes wars, you can't tell me this is funny.

Grace yourself  because it's a greedy game your in,
Look around there's nothing but sin.
laurie Sep 2014
If only for a moment, I'd stop to stare with care,

If only for a moment, true loves kiss we both would share,

If only for a moment, together we would dare,

If only for a moment, sometimes life it isn't fair,

If only for a moment, without you I cannot bare,

If only for a moment, my heart it would not tare.
Never let a moment grab a tight hold of you so that when its gone, you've lost what you had in seconds and you were too caught up in a moment to realise
Sep 2014 · 584
Disheartenment
laurie Sep 2014
The feeling of disheartenment thickening on the inside until it reaches your throat.


No longer can you stand it, like barb wire around your neck. You can't breathe by the feelings that have consumed every last inch of your body.

Paralysed, you can't move! Your thoughts run wild within your subconscious, images flurrying; changing continuously until you no longer see what's before you.

Your heart shatters into devastation, the realisation of the cruel surroundings in which you have succumb.

Tears pour down your face, with each trickle you cling to yourself  The desperation in your cries, no one hears your plea .
Ok so I'm new to this type of poetry, not sure what style this is but I'm writing with feeling my grammar probably isn't perfect either but if anyone can give me any advice, it would be most appreciated :)
Sep 2014 · 332
life
laurie Sep 2014
Life is like a yo-yo they like to say it's yolo,
In this world I'm feeling so low
Can't predict the future but what I do know,
There are places I need to go,
Got to write my own show,

Life is like Sims with emotions,
Stirred up in a cocktail of potions,
Searching in the deepest oceans,
Going through the different notions.

Life is like a roller coaster ride,
Make sure you wear it with pride,
From this life you can never hide,
You've got people on your side.

Life is like a tree deep rooted in the soil,
In this life you choose make sure you don't spoil, your chance to enhance let your haters boil.
Sep 2014 · 208
I can't
laurie Sep 2014
I can't go on living in this way,
Its opened up my eyes that is all I have to say and I've tried and tried for too long,
Got to do what's right for me now even though you thinks its wrong.

I will remember you you'll always remain in my heart, living in different worlds it's time for us to part. Please don't forget me together we share a past, I'm hoping your bitterness will turn sweet, I'm not sure it will last.

I can't go on living this way, my heart is broken into two, craving for a relationship I know I can never have with you. Closing the book you need to let me go, hoping you can save yourself only time will show.

So please don't hate me I need this to recover,
A whole world awaits outside only I can can discover.
A connection we once had only by blood,
I'm not running from my problems I'm doing what anyone would.

I cant go on living this way it hurts too much for me to stay, in my thoughts for you I pray.
Until we meet again I wish you nothing but the best. Stand up to your demons endure the test.
Sep 2014 · 259
The product of
laurie Sep 2014
The product of environment behaviours, boundaries and mind,
In this world I hope there's an escape that you can somehow find..

Your just a little girl you have nothing in your life that is stable,
I would scoop you away afar If only I was able.

The product of environment influenced by your creator,
She's messing with your mind, I can see your anger you hate her.

Please little girl remember you have me,
I'll help you if I can, run with me be free.

The product of environment your world is unstable,
Your longing for the love but your mother isn't able.

Sweet little Nicole you have the weight of the world on one shoulder,
I hope this doesn't crumble you or affect you when your older.

The product of environment it's all that you've been taught.
It worries me deeply, I'm frightened by the thought.
Sep 2014 · 249
Real Peace
laurie Sep 2014
My heart beats, as my lungs breathe
my body functions genetically,
as I become emancipated these functions are beautifully orchestrated.
My senses are heightened right down to the taste in my mouth, sound so loud and clear, like I'm on the inside looking out but somehow this feeling is surreal.
The vivid imagery floating through my mind,
I'm intoxicated with deep pure love from this light that has opened a new lease of life.
The deeper I sink into this abundance, my awareness is magical as though I'm in a dream.
My perception is altered and here I can receive clear truthful messages, intuitively knowing the answer that is often clouded by the reality blinding our sight and thought process.

This is the place I call home, at peace with myself and surroundings. The intensity of emotions and senses are infatuating to core.
Aug 2014 · 468
Imagine
laurie Aug 2014
Imagine a life without craziness, with no evil possessing man,
The world would be a better place, right now it's just too shan.

Imagine love and peace lets not go to war,
reading stories of destruction, it's sickening to the core.

Imagine a happy place where we could peacefully live,
where people are not nasty, they reach out and they give.

Imagine imagine let yourself see,
this world has gone crazy, no one is free.
Aug 2014 · 305
I just wanted to say
laurie Aug 2014
I just wanted to say I get how you feel,
your caught up in this nightmare, this **** it's crazy and real.

Your lost in the darkness the deep depths of despair,
these experiences are needed to help you with repair.

Caught up in a moment your world subsides around you,
feeling helpless and frustrated like there's nothing you can do.

I just wanted to say you have people around you who care,
in your moments of sadness, I'm sure they'll always be there.
Aug 2014 · 236
Your
laurie Aug 2014
Your touch is magical, it makes me shiver,
stroking my legs they start to quiver.

How you deliver it blows my mind,
there's no one like you, I can replace or find.

Your eyes look deep into mine,
lost in this moment it's real mighty fine.

The passion between us it's more than just lust,
together we are comfortable, in each other we trust.

Your kiss is sealed with love that is real,
I can see you love me, your devotion I feel.

You shower me with affection, you see the real me,
we were destined we were meant to be.
Jul 2014 · 496
Blowing in the wind
laurie Jul 2014
Blowing in the wind with my hearts desire,
soaked up in my bones the feeling I'm on fire.

Blowing in the wind with my souls need,
around my neck I protect with a rosary bead.

Blowing in the wind with my own reality,
questioning the doubt of my mentality.

Blowing in the wind with my urge to waken,
lost my vision I'm blind, the strength from me is taken.
Jul 2014 · 455
That moment
laurie Jul 2014
That moment when you feel sick, your hearts beating real quick, your mind starts to tick.

I'm hurting I'm sad! Why do you make me feel bad?
you chased away my dad, of course I 'll be mad.

The truth about your way, something I had to say,
on that ****** up day, I need to getaway.

Slap me in the face, to your own disgrace ,
I'm leaving this place, without a trace.

The drama, the karma;
I need to wrap myself in armour,
To protect me from the trauma.

Despite is that right?
the day would come when I'd stand up and fight

It's my right, it may be no delight but
you could just be polite, accept that you've lost the fight

To control, it's not your role
It's starting to take it's toll.

Pushing me away, there's no way I wanna stay,
you don't listen to what I say.
Jul 2014 · 929
Domestic.....
laurie Jul 2014
Domestic violence, I feel it in your silence,
I see the pain in your eyes, hearing the torture in your cries.

Bruises, broken bones your half dead,
he battered you so badly there's scars on your head, with the feeling of dread.

To weak to fight his strength, you'd go to any length,
to break free run from this bully, he don't love you in his heart not truly or fully.

Excuses are running out, you have to get out
U can hear him coming, you get the urge to start running.

You freeze he grabs you by the hair,
pleading with him to stop, in this rage he doesn't care.

Another punch in the face, he throws you around,
too young to pick you up off of the ground.

He says he didn't mean it, i wish you could of seen it
from the beginning, he's got a hold of you he thinks he's winning.

walking on egg shells living in this hell,
too afraid to speak out, there's no one you can tell.

He rapes you batters you inflicts all this pain,
stripped you of your dignity, makes you feel insane.

Domestic violence, break your silence
fight back your strong, what he's doing is wrong.
Jul 2014 · 475
This is who I am
laurie Jul 2014
So this is who I am and this is where I've been,
Down in the gutter there's nothing I aint seen.

You either hate me or love me, I really don't care,
I always speak truth, I always am fair.

I may not be perfect but I sure am real,
I don't hide my feelings I ain't afraid to feel.

I've made mistakes don't stand there and judge,
you'll end up cold if you hold a grudge.

We all make bad choices, this is how we learn,
I've learned by mine, now I think its your turn.

So this is who I am, **** the haters,
the hypocrites and all the ****** fakers.
Jul 2014 · 391
Trouble maker
laurie Jul 2014
Trouble maker you ain't nothing but a faker,
out to be mean this I've seen, your a taker.

Stirring the spoon to get a reaction,
your so transparent I can tell by your action

A power trip to fuel your insecurities,
a dangerous game, filled with real impurities.

Jealous your bitter your twisted inside,
you think you have me fooled, like its something you can hide.

One step ahead I know your plan,
I wouldn't even bother thinking  you can.

Your shan I wouldn't trust you ever,
causing world war 3, thinking your clever.

Get a grip, grow up stop slamming your cup,
on your desk in a mood, just calm down dude.

Trouble make always pointing the finger to blame,
you think you'd know better. It's a real dam shame.
Jul 2014 · 258
Freedom
laurie Jul 2014
Feel the love inside of you,
Remember to love all that you do,
Except for the badness,
Evil and sadness,
Decide to be true,
Open your eyes see you
Make that happen.
Jul 2014 · 279
Change
laurie Jul 2014
Crazed I'm in a daze,
Hoping this is just a phase,
A burning blaze I'm in hell,
Now you really can tell,  
Got to get well,
Even if I'm trapped in this cell.
Jul 2014 · 452
The only way is up
laurie Jul 2014
The only way is up don't let yourself get down,
always wear a smile on your face, never sit and frown.

There's only one road you can choose, you must do this alone,
or forever remain a robot, just another living clone.

Grab your dreams with all your strength, make them come true    
your thoughts and your vision, are the key to what you do.
Laugh, cry and get angry but be in control of emotion,
don't get wrapped up in the drama of all this crazy commotion.
life as little lessons to create a better you,
don't beat yourself up over the hiccups, its the worst thing you can do.

Always be upbeat destroy any negative vibes,
look at how other cultures live, happy in their mighty tribes.

The message is all over but from birth we are re-programmed,
the signals are hard to see, they somehow seem to be jammed.

The only way is up, you've already been in the dark,
the flame is ready to light, just ignite the spark.
Jul 2014 · 500
I'll spread my wings
laurie Jul 2014
I'll spread my wings and learn how to fly,
away from this loneliness and the tears that I cry.

I'll fly far away to neverland,
with fairy dust and the world in my hand.

I'll think happy thoughts with stories to tell,
get to know this place so very well.

I'll sleep in the trees way up high,
looking above at the stars in the sky.

I'll be in a place where happiness is real,
wash away my worries the joy that'll I'll feel.

I'll spread my wings and learn how to fly,
living this dream until the day I die.
Jul 2014 · 466
Untitled
laurie Jul 2014
Trying to move on and live a normal life
surrounded by the struggle, mental illness is rife.

let me be me, don't torture me for who I am,
I'm not nelson mandella my name is Sam.

I do what I can to survive this infliction,
it's not my fault you have a drug addiction.

I'm not to blame for your past, remember you created me,
you need to get real, this is something you must see

Treat me like a hater I ain't got no respect,
family or not there's a cause and effect.

Narcissist you thrive on the control,
Jekyll in Hyde your suited to the role.

Remember you chose this path,
now I'm feeling the vengeance of your wrath.

I can't deal with this pain any longer,
it's stopping me from living, I need to get stronger.
Jul 2014 · 193
The last Words
laurie Jul 2014
The last words I've spoken, they haven't been in vein,
thoughts colliding through my mind, I'm feeling real insane.

Our relationship is broken, shattered beyond belief,
I'm struggling to cope I'm going through the grief.

I can't relate to you anymore, I've lost the trust in you,
trying to understand the crazy things you do.

Your supposed to protect me be their unconditionally,
you talk to me like ****, you think that I'm just silly

Oh mother I can't fix this I need to walk away,
my heart hurts too much, no longer can I stay.

The last words I've spoken, I opened up to you,
give you nothing but my honesty, the words I spoke are true.
Jul 2014 · 475
Deepest Darkest.....
laurie Jul 2014
In the darkest deepest memories of my burdened soul,
searching for a purpose, my life's own personal goal .

caught in a trap I'm hoping for some light,
to beam its rays on me, sweetly warm and bright.

In the darkest deepest memories of my confused  mind
I'm trying to unravel, what it is I need to find.
Jul 2014 · 564
Numb
laurie Jul 2014
Right now I'm numb to any sort of feeling,
the hurt and anger, inside it's got me reeling.

Numb to this exposure,
I'm trapped deep in this enclosure.

Banging my head against the wall,
there's no way I'll survive the fall.

Trying to accept life isn't just black and white,
blind I have no vision, I've lost my sight.

Right now I'm numb to any sort of feeling,
no time to reflect, or proceed with self healing.
Jul 2014 · 821
Family Feuds
laurie Jul 2014
Family feuds you refuse to see this despair,
damaged relationships, something we just can't repair.

All of this drama it's wearing me down,
thinking of leaving this god awful town.

I can't take it no longer I'm tired of the fight,
worried sick your keeping me awake at night.

Your my mother not my child,
your off the rails you've gone wild.

Abuse your violent mentally ill,
you've tortured my mind I can't keep still.

I've tried and tried to help you get well ,
your beyond this now I really can tell.

I have my own family, got to live my own way,
I can't keep feeling hurt by the things that you say.

I know your trapped in this mental frame,
too much to handle, I cry with the pain .

Family feuds I can no longer connect,
it's making me Ill, myself I need to protect
Jul 2014 · 820
Brainwashed
laurie Jul 2014
Brainwashed no control over your mind,
wishing there's a button so I can press re-wind.

Back to the day you met this awful fate,
I'd warn you off, tell you not to go through the gate.

9 years of torture you've been under a spell,
you haven't been yourself, you've really been un well.

We've tried to protect you save you from the mess,
watched you being beaten, frustrated by the stress.

Its hard for us as your daughters,
we can see you that your drowning in the deepest waters.

Watching you waste away your all skin and bone,
the weakness in your voice I can hear it in your tone.

This man is more than evil, he sends shivers down my spine,
with the thought of him killing you, is an awful worry of mine.

Finally he's gone he's left his mark on you,
we are here to help you, don't be ashamed of you.

Brainwashed your starting to open your eyes,
to the damage that he's done and all his harmful lies.
Jul 2014 · 260
looking at you
laurie Jul 2014
Looking at you I see how you  cry,
47 years of hell but you get up and try

your fragile too frail like your ready to break,
I'm not sure how much more your able to take.

Frightened I'll wake with you no longer here,
thoughts of you this way I let out a tear

Your hurt yes your angry with this I agree,
don't make these threats, cut the rope from the tree.

Your my mother for you I will always care.
slowly your starting to age, the grey is showing in your hair.

It's not too late to make a change,
although its hard and at fist it seems strange.

looking at you there's no sense of hope,
thinking of ways I can help you to cope.
Jul 2014 · 349
Inner Issues
laurie Jul 2014
Inner issues lead people to misuse,
selling their bodies, taking drugs they abuse
themselves they can't get no help their stealing off the shelves,
To survive in this life this crime is now rife,
young kids ruling the streets they're armed with a knife.
Inner Issues torturing peoples minds their trapped in this hell,
need a fix, looking for things they can sell,
to get through another day amongst this badness, you can see the real sadness in their eyes, you can hear their tortured cries.
They've become numb to this way,
I see it everyday, In the depths of their darkness I hear them pray,
for a better existence, you can feel their resistance to, change for the better from jail they write a letter, the rain is getting wetter.
Inner Issues their tortured by abuse, they can't call a truce to all of this abuse,
a slave to the devil, they're on a deeper level in this life they revel.
Jul 2014 · 258
YOU
laurie Jul 2014
YOU
You call me up on a Friday night,
drunk again you've started a fight.

You come knocking at my door all hours of late,
I thought men were respectful by starting with a date.

You stay and do your deed no cuddles or any kissing,
trying to figure out this puzzle, can't find the piece that's missing.

You stay away through the week you never answer my call,
feeling used and abused once again, I curl up into a ball.

You say we are just friends you don't want to commit,
there's no respect at all not one tiny little bit.

You can take yourself off to someone elses bed,
I'm sick of your lying and you messing with my head.
Jul 2014 · 304
Love
laurie Jul 2014
Listening
Open
Visionary
Exciting
Jul 2014 · 334
The day that you left me
laurie Jul 2014
The day that you left me, oh what did I do that was wrong?
left me pregnant for another lady now it's time for me to be strong.

Carrying our child I'm feeling awfully scared,
you've walked out on us you've never really cared.

Counting down the days until our child is born,
my world has collided my heart you have torn.

What do I do now? How will I get over you?
don't want to believe these rumours, even though I know they're true.

Our son arrives your nowhere in sight,
I cradle our baby bring him close to me tight.

Suddenly they rush him away,
i cry in my pillow with each thought that I pray.

The doctors return a few hours later,
our baby didn't survive in the little incubator.

Shocked I can't breathe my mind is a blur,
angry by the thought of you being with her.

The day that you left my world was washed away,
wondering if our baby would be here, if I knew how to make you stay.
I
Jul 2014 · 313
Think about the way.....
laurie Jul 2014
Think about the way that we live today,
what we preach to our children, what we learn them to say.

Think about how we are spending most of our time,
working for a dollar selling for a dime.

Think about our families take a step back,
on every street people dealing out crack.

Think of our cities and how we rotate,
the people in charge leading the debate.

Think about our planet the damage we've done,
about the crimes, tragedies and the times that we've won.

Think of all the bad things, then think of all the good,
do what's right in life, do what you know that you should.

Think about the way that we live today ,
make positive changes that's all I can say.
Jul 2014 · 256
The way
laurie Jul 2014
The way you touch me and stroke my hair,
how you love me the way that you care.

The way you stare deep into my eyes,
how your honest you don't tell me lies.

The way you hold me you pull me in tight,
you push on through the struggle, never give up on the fight.

The way you love me your always so sweet,
you give me your everything in the skip of a beat.

The way you look after me your always so true,
I'll love you forever for all that you do.
Jul 2014 · 529
I'm
laurie Jul 2014
I'm
I'm not angry anymore I've cried too many tears,
I've been the one to overcome my fears.
I'm not sorry that I don't know you it's the path you chose to take,
angry with my mother you see me as a mistake.
I'm not missing out on my children's lives to me it is my duty,
this opportunity is a gift filled with lots of beauty.
I'm not sad anymore I've tried too hard to reach you,
only one chance I wanted, I'm not here to try and preach you.
I'm not ashamed anymore,  I've accepted that you don't want this,
we have no memories together, there's nothing for me to miss.
I'm not pulling myself apart because of a choice you made,
it's on your conscious forever, but for me this hurt will fade.
I'm  not perfect but I'm not afraid to face the things in  life,
I hope you are happy raising someone else's children, sitting cosy with your wife.
I'm your only daughter In my heart I know you once cared,
the situation was crazy too young you ran off scared.
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