i’ve built myself up brick by brick
and you tear me down with a whispered “i love you” and a tender touch.
how easy it was for you to set off a self destructive bomb inside of me that counted down the seconds until you left and-
BOOM
words of feelings and betrayal explode out of me
filling up blank space with every detail of how you clawed your way inside me,
picked apart my mind,
took what you thought was worth something,
and then you left when you decided i was finally worthless.
now i am left in ruins.

you have galaxies in you that no one’s ever seen before.

staring into your abyss is where i find myself evermore.

i am lost in the chaos of your eyes and i do not mind.

i could study your swirls of color every second until forever.

i do not need your hands on me to feel,

your disputed love seeps into my skin from across the room;

quite surreal.

your shooting stars ignite flames in me that cannot be extinguished.

even after you’ve walked away, i am still burning for you.

you scattered stars across my darkened skies;

who knew they’d all be laced in goodbyes?

you are my own personal cup of poison and i am drowning my insides with it.
there is this ticking time bomb inside of me that beats to the rhythm of my heart and when you are near,
it shoots into high gear and threatens to explode.
******* into a thousand pieces and let me fade into the night; i am quite exhausted from the fear of my seconds speeding by when you care to pay me a visit in your convenience.
i do not wish to be tortured by your games anymore.
the words to tell you to leave me alone for good are stuck on the tip of my tongue,
because i know that the words “i love you too” are stuck on the tip of yours.
who will spill their toxins first?
you push me away with your fake flattery into an abyss of self destruction.
i stumbled over unrequited affections on the way and now i am buried under eternities wasted on loving you.
i do wish that one day those words will tumble out of my mouth in a drunken haze and i will forget that i was the reason you’ve finally kept away.
i cannot spend any more days talking to you with months getting over you.
it is time to dismantle this bomb before i let you **** me.