I have good days now
Even good weeks
This wasn't possible
under your regime

I like to think
that i am not alone.
That if i needed;
someone would be there.
That my call would get answered
or my love reciprocated.
But i know make believe
is for children;
not the lost souls
who are just
lonely.

a.n.p

It took me seven years
to realise
the words in my mind
were too deep for
my mouth to dig up
I thought it was easier
to open my skin
and let the truth
pour down my arms

It took me seven years
to realise
nobody should be allowed
to touch parts
of your home
or hold pieces  
of your heart
that you don't yet understand

It took me seven years
to realise
I will wear these scars
forever
I'll carry them
through every smile
every kiss
every concerned gaze
I'll carry them
to my grave

It took me seven years
to realise
the pain carved
into the walls
of my castle
etchings of
attempting to disappear
are not a story of weakness
but a tale of
how I survived

human beings
create
their entire existence
in mandatory
suffering.

He prayed with saints
He danced with gods
He fought with warriors
He dined with kings.
Yet, in all these spheres
Beneath the earth
Lies the man
Cold and lonely.