I don't know who you are anymore. You're constantly gone and never heard from. You promise you'll stay, you promise you'll be there for me, you promise you'll see me soon and that you'll keep in touch. After several failed attempts of trying to talk to you, you finally call after two long months. You need a ride, you're in another state, and you have a pound of heroine on you. I refused and you scream and yell and insult me. If you had any idea how you made me feel, I'd hope you'd be ashamed of yourself. You said things that you meant and I'm insecure about. The thoughts that you made me have when you said them are scary. You aren't who I thought you were, I thought you were nice and understanding but you've turned bitter and nasty. You aren't the person you used to be and I miss that person so ******* much I can't explain it in words. But yet you still put yourself through this hell. And for what? Why?

These past couple of days I haven't felt like my usual self. I feel really sad and aggressive. When I'm normally happy and nice. I've just been angry and upset. I've been trying to find a source of happiness to help but I feel so alone right now.

Those words you said yesterday stung me more than any words you've ever spoken to me. It felt like a dagger going straight through me. I don't know if you were serious or not, but they have been playing in my head over and over like a broken record

I have a tendency to overthink and overreact. I'm quick to get angry. That's just who I am. It's something I get from my dad who got it from his. But I'm going to try and remain calm and not over think and overreact. Just being hurt so many times, it's kind of like a self defense mechanism. I haven't been the best person to be with recently and it hurts me and I can tell it hurts them. But I can guarantee you with my heart, if you stick with me, I won't make you regret it. I know what needs to be done and what I need to change. And I'm GOING to do it.

You are the first person I text everyday and the last person I text before I go to sleep. You are in my thoughts and dreams everyday. You're out at a friend's party having fun and I'm sitting here bored and time is going so slow when I'm not talking to you. I really do think that, I love you.

I'm tired of getting my hopes up on the same thing over and over again and then being let down every single time. I realize that I just need to accept it for what it is and move my mind away from it. I can't help it so I might as well give up before I get let down again. It ***** but what can I really do or say for it to change.

I can be an ******* sometimes and I know it. And I really don't know why but it seems like I've been ******* a lot recently. I'm not trying to be one I've just had a lot on my mind recently. So I'm sorry that I've been an ******* a lot recently to everyone I've acted like one too. If you catch me being an ******* tell me I am. I'm going to try really hard to not be an ******* because I hate feeling like this.