I'm starting to get that feeling again. A big knot in my stomach, the feeling of sweat coming from my head, my face and the back of my neck have a numbing sensation, it's hard to swallow. I haven't felt like this in a while and the scariest part is that I miss feeling like this. I feel safer this way. I like feeling like this.

in your darkest times
you reach for the bottle
running from your problems
drinking the night away
along with those memories

but darling
just one drunk night
repeats after another
and you will fall into the habit
and lose yourself

I feel so lonely right now. I feel alone in my thoughts and I feel like I have nobody who cares anymore. It feels like I have a huge boulder in my stomach. And if I could just see your name on my phone screen when it lights up it would help it go away. I'm so alone right now. I feel like I have no one to lean on or anyone to talk to right now. Please someone just talk to me so I don't feel so alone.

No matter how dark your mind gets, now matter how bad you get, no matter how ****** up you think you are. I will never give up on you. I see this as a challenge, and guess what? Challenge ******* accepted. I will do whatever I can possibly do to make your life better.

The only thing I've been to afraid to say recently is: I love you.

I'm not afraid to say it because "I don't want to love you" or anything like that. The only reason I'm afraid to say it is because I know you're not ready to say it back. And it's okay you're not. Now I feel like there's been a 20 thousand pound weight thats been lifted off my chest.

So there it is. I love you. I love you. I love everything about you. I love being with you and I always want to be around you. I love you

Hey baby this one's for you. Like I said earlier the one and only thing I'm scared of is losing you. That's it. That's my one and only fear. Why you might ask? Well it's quite simple. For one, You're the first person I've ever been emotionally attached to. You're my thought when I wake up and you're my thought when I go to bed. I cuddle my pillows at night and pretend that they are you. You're always on my mind. Two, is because you make me so ******* happy. No one has ever made me this happy before and I cherish every last second we have with each other. No matter what's going on in my life you always know how to bring a stupidly big smile to my face. You're the only person I want to be with for a long time. Even when you spit burritos or cherry slurpee in my face(:
Three, I've never been more comfortable with anyone ever. Not even my life long friends. You've broken me out of my shell more than anyone. And I'm truly grateful and very appreciative for that. You make me less insecure about everything because I know you'd never judge me. You're the one person I can tell everyhthing to. This may seem really corny or really sappy or whatever, but every word in this poem is the God's honest truth. I hope reading this puts a smile on your face. And I don't care how bad your life is or how messed up you are, I will ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS be there for you. I will NEVER NEVER NEVER give up or quit on you. I WILL try my **** hardest to try and make your life a lot happier and a lot better.

I've decided to not care about what people say anymore. You can't please everyone. Nothing I can ever say or do can please everyone. So **** it. I'm going to be and be my own person. I want to start embracing who I am. I want to be able to speak my mind without caring about people judging me. I hope you feel the same way too.