i will write in the way that I used to
and i will smile in a way that is true
i will fight for myself and my love
until happiness becomes my virtue

i will breathe all the air that comes to me
even if poison is all there to give
i will write, i will fight, i will breathe,
i will live.

one day i will leave this world
this world with four walls confining me
i will make wings that can fly and turn me
into a person so humble and wise

i’ll be free from rules and regulations
and one day this world will be mine
one day i’ll grow my own way
one day i’ll grow in my own time.

there’s a character in my story
whose heart got split in half
used to be the brightest little ball of energy
until his heartbreak spelled him sad

i was worried when writing this character
he felt unrealistic and made no sense
until yesterday when my heart got broken
and suddenly he and i are sharing the same dance.

i miss you, my life,
my love, my inspiration
i miss how easy it was
for me to stay happy in elation

i miss being alone
and not caring what people think
i miss the way i write
and all the smiles my words would bring

i miss that life of no worries
where laughter defined the world
where i could be myself and no other
never minding the hurt

i miss the future that should’ve been mine
if things hadn’t turned out this way
i miss the way the trees used to dance
before all the leaves flew away.

how can i smile,
when happiness has been taken from me?
how can i give,
when all has been gone from me?
how can i laugh,
when humor means nothing to me?
how can i live,
when my life has slipped away from me?

the farther you let
the corners of your lips
reach high, high up,
the more painful it is
going down, down, down.

i’ve replaced happiness with obedience
a smile with fruitfulness
laughter with silence
emotions with effectiveness.