the night my life changed
i was wearing
a white dress
with blue and red
flowers

and you were wearing
well, actually
it doesn't
matter

the night my life changed
it was dark
and you were drunk
and somehow
it was my fault

give me some kind of proof
that you were real
that we really happened
it feels so long ago
it was
it feels like you’re dead
you’ve died
you’re missing
i often wonder
where the **** did you go
then i remember
you’re gone
you might wonder why i grieved so hard
the last i had spoke to you
there was a chance you’d die
alone
in that dumb ******* car
in that dumb ******* park
alone
i didn’t want that
after the call
it had felt like you had died
that’s why i grieved so hard
seeing you now
feels like i’m seeing a ghost

are you?
give me some kind of proof
that you were real

Dear death,

I have met life,
He wants me to fight,
But I'm so weak-
So can we meet?

each note holding a different emotion,
carried across time.
held out until the very last second,
then the silence steps in.

My words became
knives.
A paragraph,
a sword.
And when I
made
my first speech,
the room
                was
                        hit
                             with
                                            a
                                                    grenade.

If your seeing this,
*******
i miss you

you told me to bring you along
then i remembered it was only just a song-
listening to it now feels like
peppers in my eyes-
i wish when i saw you
i’d just go ******* blind
forever isn’t a life time but maybe more of a dream—
you left me a mess, when you left,
a mess i had to clean
you were a tornado dashing through
my mind
i’m tired of it this time

i wanna get better, it’s time to get better
i knew it was different,
when you fell i kept cheering
but when i messed up,
you walked away, you shut me out,
all **** day and you gave up
don’t rage at me for shooting yourself
you pulled the trigger, you had the ***
you said you were ******* done

i wanna get better, it’s time to get better
i’m tired of this *******
tornado weather
i’m drunk in the dark
alone, on the ground at a park
how the hell
did we get
a million miles apart

forever isn’t a life time, but more of a dream

Drive by my house and look me in the eyes
tell me that it was worth it
through all the lies, those burnt up ties, swallowed by flies, memories of me caressing your thighs oh i’m done with the lies no i’m done with the lies god i’m done with the lies all those lies all the time!


i knew it was different,
when i kept cheering
but
you walked away
and you closed your eyes

We both shattered stars, we crushed the moons to hearts
my minds racing, i don’t see you here
try listening for your heartbeat but there’s nothing to hear
you said it was gone, for thousands of years so why did i keep trying to find something under the rubble and wasting my time

sitting in the dark
shifting through the stars
wondering where you are,
it was bad from the start
maybe we’re destined to be apart

i told you in another life
forever isn’t a life time,
but more so, only a dream

Love is like taxis
They're everywhere when you don't need it
But nowhere to be found when you do

you’ve stolen so much of my soul,
i’m still trying to remember who i was

just breathe
take a hit
****
sleep on it