jumping jumbled thoughts
hop-scotch, double-dutch, criss-cross
getting lost in mish-mosh
scratching a vinyl
stuck constant skipping,
unfinished rounds of loop-de-loop spinning
speeding down stream
leaping across time warping lilypads,
memories interrupted by what-if daydreams.

my brain places haphazard bookmarks
when it runs into a lump,
then hops on a new train
ka-clunk ka-clunk-clunk ka-clunk,
tripping over decaying stumps
and mountains of over-processed junk.
always falling back to distraction,
instant satisfaction
was taught to me habitually,
so i look the other way when
my will bends instantaneously
at the mention of insane
raucous romping renegades.

i throw hand grenades
to prevent unfinished fragments
of insight from cementing.
wishing my words would
spit themselves out,
or dive off a cliff to utter calamity
cause effort is lost on me -
passionless revere
and bottomless see-sawing.

just stick me slack-jawed
in front of any cookie-cutter size of
plastic rectangle-god,
they all repeat the same chant
commanding me to stare endlessly at
screen after screen after screen after screen after screen -
my screaming pacified by flashing lights
and buzzing jibber-gabber.
infinite scrolling consumes isolated nights,
meticulously crafting a self-projection
made from inverse other-reflection
to deflect nagging fear of
detection and rejection.

can you really hear my inflection
from this typeface
and condensed pre-packaged mind-space?
i feel like i'm speaking,
but feedback is empty and misplaced
only muttered out by thoughtless mistake.
well once i pin me down
ill stick you beside,
and we can melt into cork board
a collage of disintegrated insides.

starving on the fringes gorged and gored of that vibrating center  
Look at me but not that long, let me be a cog of the conversation, I can't start the wheels turning and god please don't turn me into rust, grinding words to a scream, a screeching halt

I've traded all my tomorrow's, the devil can dance to the rhythm of my symphony of my future
I didn't buy any yesterday's I bought a moment of sound
I bought the cold from the speaker, that hits in my neck and races down my arm.

Look forward.

How beautiful is this life.

gratitude
longitude
gonorrhea
gonna free uh
my soul, I guess...
and by so doin' I
guess I'll be freein'
everything and nothin' at all

because it's all just a fall
between the masters
and their dolls and
nothing is free until you
take it but, guess what?
it's not ours to take!

it's ours to fake until we make,
'cause freedom isn't something
you can have, it's something
you can be, mufuckas say
freedom ain't free, well ****,
that's 'cause it's priceless!

so slice and dice this,
I'm a pretty rainbow Pegasus
sittin pretty sittin flightless
'til I can understand that I might just
be a rhyming hippopotamus
whose rhymes are unfortunately fatherless and
c'mon, papa, don't you wanna see where the story goes?
and not abandon your words on the side of the road like a dead rose froze crackle crack thorn ***** blood and I love you but I'm freezing and I can see you leaving like another medicine wheel spinning but this time there's no sugar and it's starting to taste a little too much like a salty silk noose around here, but I'm just a silly goose and I'm just trying to break loose because I'm a ******* water buffalo with ten thousand pounds of dreaded days weighing me down. So it's time to break me down 'cause it's orange jumpsuit day and that means it's time to play on Guantanamo Bay. 

Don't you dare speak about that!
Okay, I guess we're just a horse girdle saddle strap bit heel to the side and canter, but can't my blinders be at least a little bit smaller?
It might help.

lavender light
polarized bright and stormy
the lush green sweeps
rising and falling
in a joyous dance
in music brushed by a thousand leaves
every color, a jewel
I turn to find you
in this perfect moment

we are
this light
this sweeping dance

The Night Sky

Taking a walk and it’s late, dark out,
sky full of clouds.
Family in beds, sleeping.
Watching rows upon rows of feral shadow clouds roll
across the sky in heavy sheets.
Air is charged, crackling from the energy
of my body as I walk by naked.
I have stolen the stars tonight.
Walking slowly, no thoughts,
my feet among the trees
trees blades of grass my immense form looking down
At mountains the size of mole hills
aerial, seeing as the raptor must.
Granted immense powers such as hyperfocus and
watching buck leap elegantly miles below.
Body is now composed of innumerable celestial bodies
Time is become me,
Form curving elegantly
fabric of spacetime billowing
in the crystalline winter wind.
As I walk I am everything and nothing.
The universe breathes throughout me
stellar nebulas exhale clouds of interstellar gas and dust
across my chest up my arms and neck red giants and
supergiants my legs erupting supernova, black holes
behind my knees across my face trillions of asteroids and
meteoroids sailing coming together in fantastic collisions
all this and looking up the night sky,
Devoid,
clouds moving quick under nothing absolute nothing.

I wonder what I would have looked like to myself- exhaling- like parting seas, like ancient catacombs creaking open, awakening the dead, like I hadn’t spoken in weeks. It was all rubble…piled over me in the front seat so that I could barely see on the drive home. I tried to hold it together, tried to breathe as deeply as possible, harness the moment, the space between us, let it cohere, let him see the skulls opened, pouring into one another, let him see my lips and skin, naked and timeless, ten- fifteen years from now- he is wearing a beard and soft green- but she, she is beautiful and lovely and far more appealing, and him and I, we sit on opposing sides of the room ten years from now when the walls come crumbling beneath us, and I struggle through the heart of the rubble pile, exiting from the space that used to be a door, quickening my stride and throwing up my hands, strutting now like some swaggering *****, bellowing, “take me universe! I am yours to command, yours to call, I am yours only and yours forever,” with a voice like an inevitable whipping. "I surrender. I give in."