My favorite poem
is the next one, yet to be,
that I shall write....

Once, I wrote:
a flawless poem
if such there were,
will always be,
the next one^

When asked again,
I still thus answer

For everything I have ever writ,
flawed,
even if the imperfection,
minor,
the clarity, not the pristine perfect
I sought

Digging mining refining...
this process endless,
a life long condition of being
human

It is therefore and ironically godlike,
unchangingly immutable,
this, the divine spark within me,
my nizotz,
unceasingly immutable
in search of the flawless poem,
my favorite-yet-to-be, to be

my favorite poem
is the next one I shall write....
and the one there after,
until the flawless one is either created
or found, bound, full formed

or

until the inkwell empty,
the mind black blot dimmed,
the eyes yellowed-weakened,
the lips, white parched beyond repair,

whichever comes last,
conceding,
the last poem, perforce, must suffice.

Dayenu

I left.
But I didn't leave you.
I came back.
After failing.
After chasing a choice to move.
After thinking.
Now is the time to choose.
To make a life.
One better, One safe, One perfect for you.

I came back.
Physically with you again.
We moved our bodies in harmony.
As in love as ever and as always best of friends.

I left.
But I never left you.
This time much differently than before.
I left this time a better man.
Who now knows himself much more.

I left.
At your behest.
I left at my own.
I left crying.
Crying so hard.
I could hardly believe.
That I was driving away from Home.

I came back.
But much differently than before.
I didn't come back because I had failed.
I didn't come back because I had left unprepared.
I came back because I missed you.
And without you.
I'm scared.

I left.
And watched the town sink.
Behind me as I drove.
And when I looked forward.
There began to glow.
Our future that arose.
That through our talks.
That through our love.
That through your eyes.
That through your care.
I was going to succeed.
In this life, without fear.

We made a decision.
It wasn't easy to make.
We spoke of a vision.
And of this vision I take.

Maybe you didn't know.
Just how serious I was.  
When I said that I would go.
And I would give it all of me.
That I wouldn't fail.
That I wouldn't quit.
That I wouldn't falter.
That I wouldn't waste this life.
That I wouldn't waste your time.
That I wouldn't waste mine.
That I wouldn't go back to drugs.
That I wouldn't go back to who I was.
That I wouldn't give up on what I believe.
That I wouldn't let go of my soul and my dreams.
That I wouldn't take for granted my gifts.
That I wouldn't squander our vision of togetherness.

Maybe you didn't know.
Just how serious I was.
When I told you.
That I would always be with you.
That my lips exist to kiss you.
That I would always be yours.
And that I meant it, of course.
That I would never once let go.
That I would never look away.
That I would keep you here with me.
That I would play music for you each day.
That you make me whole.
That you make me feel.
That you make me move.
That you make me real.
That you take my eyes.
And you make them see.
That you take my mouth.
And you let it breathe.
That you and I, that we are one.
That you and I, that we've truly won.
That I love you.
That I care.
More than I thought.
Could have existed here.
More than I imagined.
Could have ever existed anywhere.
That because of just our love.
I could believe, perhaps, a God is near.
That you mean so much to me.
That I think of you night and day.
That I'll put to use the best intentions.
And make our lives okay.

Maybe you didn't know.
Just how serious I was.
When I said.
That I would give it my all.

But I give my all for you.
I didn't leave so I could be away.
I am here.
So I could fight.
So I could climb.
So I could chase success.
So I could build upon foundations.
That were once laid to rest.
I am here.
So that I may work.
So that if I falter.
I will not fail.
I will only reach higher.
I'll get up and stand tall.
I am here.
Because I believe in us.
I am here.
And I promised.
I wouldn't lose this fight.

So here I stay.
Because it was this way to which we agreed.
So here I stay.
Because this is what we need.
So here I stay.

There will always be a part of me.
That knows I want to go.
Because if I go.
I'll get to go Home.
But I stay.
I stay because this is important.
That if I leave.
It comes undone.

I stay.
Because a switch inside.
Told me, 'Now's the time'.
Because just like when I gave up drinking.
I knew my fate was mine.
I stay.
Because I dream.
Of a time when we're together.
That for all of my work.
And for all of my persistence.
It has made our lives much better.

I left believing that.
And I have to believe it still.
That if I doubt.
And give up on this.
That our dream goes unfulfilled.

So I stay.
But I must say.
When I left.
I told you this.
Something I know you must know is true.

*My darling, I may have left that town.
But heaven knows I'll have never left you.