“I guess she wanted a real life or something
I don’t know”

Spoken by a grown man in his middle years in reference to a woman leaving her husband. As if the desire for a “real life” were such an absurdity. How profound this world is becoming in its mundanity. Profound mundanity. Deranged normality. Oxymoron’s galore my friends.

There he lay
Torn and twisted
Kin to the kinless
Bearing the shackles of understanding
And that mighty burden of logic
Seamless, yet perpetually aimless
Another cog in the two legged clockwork
Tearing apart the universe one molecule at a time
Alive

Amidst the fields of gray he stood…

Sinning.

Stoners go hippie with the sticky sweet smoke
Dope-wicked hope stricken trippin' sinners don't choke
Sellouts sell jail cells in the cellar downstairs
Hairs-frayed-from-hairspray stricken sisters don't care
Tell me where are the werewolves wearing skin overcoats?
Not a body dare boast that their coast is a host
For a problem don't got one when the team boat won't row
Don't tell me you got hope when the dough runs the show
Don't tell me that you care when to sin is to share
Don't ever tell me that you know when your love never show
You're ******' ******-gut, up-chucking sick
Don't ya know?

With aura immaculate
Loved me did she
Open my eyes
Ms. Ellis D

She knows my brothers
From days long past
Strewn across the sky
In heavenly white

We lie like lovers
For just this night
With the promise of tomorrow
Far from sight

“Functional"*

  I’m a logical drinker. During the day you will find me taking in all that this life has to offer. Only during the twilight hours when the world is still will you find me belligerent and alone, pushing down the darkness of my mind and overbearing imagination. For at this time there is nothing left to be learned from my masochistic point of view. Only slow reality to feel, and my god does it sting. But only in that moment. We mustn't forget. Tomorrow is a big day.

A game of lies
Spoken between the lines
And it all boils down to
Who knows who
Who knows you?
You know Sue?
She's real new
I heard from Stacy
She's got a man or two
***** **** for *****
But sits on a pew
Every Sunday
And confesses her sins
With her slate wiped clean
She does it all again
Wearing a grin

What nerve to think
Life's a free for all
As long as you pray
On your knees everyday
Six days show the truth
Unholy, and without shame
But on the seventh
Your god takes his claim
Who knows
Maybe he likes this game
Maybe god's sick in the head
Who are we to say


Why the games?
Why this life?
Nobody knows
That's just how it goes
It's a game of thrones
And a kingdom of lies

Daddy's caught up in the throes
Of a coke head fantasy
Mommy's all alone
Seeking comfort in the Hennessy
And children are born
As a result of the adultery
We call those game pieces
Pawns from an old game
Old flames and new tricks
Come back to haunt you
And your new fix

Girls to moms
Baby food and fresh kicks
For Christmas
Grown women
Or old girls?
**** if I know
But it’s the kids that suffer
Growing up
With tears for supper
Until they became cold
****** around and got old
At the age of sixteen
Old souls
Or so it seems
This is the world we live in
Not even the worst
Third world tragedies
Fronting like
First world prodigies
With only songs of sorrow to sing
We are the American dream

In want of a headspace
For to keep up with my thought pace
An infinite cerebral landscape
The consciousness reels and writhes through the labyrinth
Sixty five BPM’s crack the whip
Twist and turns
Indian carpets and Egyptian urns
Irrelevent
Upon starry eyed fairytales they stand
Architecture of a madman
Brick and mortar
Psychedelic caulking
Foundation
Screaming defiance against creation
Murals
Whispering fears of damnation
Wake up mate
It’s just your imagination
I know.

A sonnet to my sins
Hopeful hopelessness
Akin to Les Mis

Hypocrisy thy name is
Was I really a drunk?
A toss-away punk, caught up in the funk?

Barreling down the asphalt human landing strip
Looking back but seeing nothing behind
Self replicating machine elves on the mind

Give in
Drop out
Tune in
Hypocrisy thy name is

I am I
You are you
But we are they
And they are all
And all are it
And it is wild

But I am I
And you are you
And I am good
And you are pure

She loves him
And he loves god
He'll grow old
And she'll go on

Still they are we
And we are it
And it, it runs
It does not walk

It charges blind
Into the dark
Without remorse
And without thought

Little Dummy sang alone
But Little Dummy
Could carry a tone

Nobody out there
Would ever care
If Little Dummy
Was here or there

Because Little Dummy couldn't read
He could never grasp how
Worth was printed on a sheet

To pass or fail
How asinine?
So Little Dummy
Was left behind

Without a glance
Or care from the world
Little Dummy
Put to rest his soul

His beauty never seen
By a thoughtless society
Little Dummy
Would never again sing

And as I walk through the valley of the shadow of flesh
I shall fear no evil
For who am I but another person amongst the people?


And who are you but a sibling and an equal?
As such we should be treated.
To get respect it must be given

Though never was I to worship
Stories for the cradle
If you should show me Cain,
I’ll gladly show you Abel.

For nature is neither sane nor stable
And nor am I
And nor should you be
Breathe free and die beautifully

You're dazed and confused
Bought and then used
Corrupt in the mind
A vessel to abuse

Second star right
Shine bright
You're alright

It's an illusion
It's a crack pipe
In an alleyway
On a dark night

Morbid and tragic
Stereotypical speech addict
I've had it

This writing is pointless
Sorrow sickness and coitus
Truer words never spoken
Inner awareness awoken

What does it change?
How much time did it take?
None

A thought to some
A world to one
Like a book to a nun

Go to sleep now
It's bed time
And I'm done

To be in love is a commodity, a luxury.

It is not necessary to be subservient to another, nor is it convenient.
Only fleetingly pleasurable.

Immensely so, perhaps the greatest indulgence conceived, but costly still.
Happiness is not defined by it.

To know when to allow yourself the privilege and when to let go is to be comfortable and confident in self, to allow affection to be a necessity is to be an addict, in the most mundane of ways.

Testament of a cynic.

Battle cry of the hopeful

O Mother
Who so violent and beautiful

Lively, lush, and serene
In youth gone past

O Mother
How much longer shall you last

Once only revolutions
Alone and at ease

As time would have it
Your life grew to breed
Your tears rained upon us
Our only desire to feed

O Mother how we forsake you
We perceived God up above

But below us is He
And He is a She
In the warm dirt
And in the soft breeze

It's you dear Mother
I wish others to see

But watch my Caretaker
Dry your tears
In your lonely revolutions
I have felt your fears

Will the children abandon home?
Will the life that you bred
Forget it has roots
And leave you alone?

It is not for me to say
But I have seen my brothers
And I have seen my sisters
And I beg them to remember

The deep chill of December
The fragrance of the Fall
The Pacific in the summer
The vibrant life around us all

And as I breathe
So do I love you
And as I love you
So do you heal

We are young yet Mother
We have much to learn still

Hold down the rhythm
For the songs unsung
Upon an empty dance floor
All the while fixing to be hung
Bite the bullet
Lest you bite your tongue

It's a lonely two step
In four count time
To the beat of one drum
And a nursery rhyme

Should you dance with the devil
You may dance forever
Should you reach for the angels
You'll find your grip severed

We look with fear
Into the darkness forever
And the path behind
Into the storms we've weathered

And we feel all at once
Trapped in our skin
Ready for a funeral
Before life begins

But you can't stop the dance
You can't stop the fight
Stuck up in a trance
You push through the night

For the world lives in balance
With a negative eye
But you still fill with hope
As you look to the sky

So dance brother now
No matter the pain
Sing sister sing
As your tears fall like rain

To the rhythm of life
With its days and its nights
Never give in
Till they shut off the lights

Oh proud engineer of eternity
Seam of reality
Stitch of the universe
Go forth

Cross those barren wastelands
Composed of the flesh of your kin
All of what was

Sail those tumultuous seas
That lifeblood of Cronos, Father Time
All of what is

And find yourself naturally to a shore
For that shore is your shore
Though the bank not of sand,
But of finely woven threads

The threads of reality itself,
A blossom of life amidst the swirling tides of time.

And you shall break onto that shore,
A behemoth bred of circumstance,
For you are this moment!

And with all the might of a whisper,
A syllable and a heartbeat,
A spike and dip of glorious emotion and sensation,
Shall you impress yourself onto the fabric of life

And all at once release.

Recede with pride,
Backwards through that sea, once spiteful, now docile
Drift into that void what harbors all things once seen,
And with peace,
Await all that remains

Tiers set to impress
Stress best the tears and ***
Together or separate
Still a well coveted mess

But the best of the rest
Catch death by way of breath
Followed closely by movement
From the mouth, teeth, and neck

Word upon words
Precipitate from pain
Chasing hollow hope-ways
Where fears fall free like rain

Yet while the inner chapel's laughter
Does mock every sinner's chapter
Internal combustion musters
The will to breathe soon after

Logic tipped with poison
Passion with a purpose

To manipulate the puppeteers strings
Perched on insanity’s brink

To give love freely
To feel but not always to think

With the mind of my father
The heart of my mother

Trust me
I dare you

I’m psychosexual
But somehow
A hyper-intellectual
It’s like a festival
All up in my mind

Fueled by love, lust, rage, maybe hate
Lysergic acid
Diethylamide
Hopeless dreams and psilocybe

I would entice you
To look inside
But I’d fear for your sanity
It’s no place for the blind

I once thought of ending it
Closing the blinds
On a cold winters eve
In the dead of night

The bottle in my hand
I broke the glass
No liquid came out
I was drunk off my ***

This was how I was
Or perhaps how I am
I question everyday
If this was part of the plan

Cuts all up my arm
I’ve always said self-harm
Was for the weak and twisted
With their minds tangled like yarn

But now I see truth
I’m an agnostic
All I need was proof
I’m a concrete home with no roof

I’m a writer, a brother
A musician and a lover
I’m a man and a boy
An old soul that never knew joy

She was momma’s little angel
Starry eyed with her dreams
Turned *******
******* randoms for the fiend

A hopeless romantic
His heart sealed up hermetically
He strung himself up when she spat out
“You’re pathetic”, apathetically

What a broken society
It’s the norm to suffer
It’s a personality flaw
To give a **** about another

This is why I’m insane
You see why I’m a ******* ******?
Always getting caught up screaming
“I’m just trying to do the right thing, you know?”

A semi-****** voice
I’m perpetually trying to shut up
Showing compassion for others
Only made me an altruistic ****-up

So now you see
What happens when you read in-between
These are my minds insides
I hope they made you scream

But I only brought you to the doorstep
Would you dare to step in?
All I can tell you is
I never made it out

There are true monsters within

She was a hellaciously hard hittin’ heart stopper

A semi-sophisticated mother/daughter

My complex candy coated no-LSD dropper

Crash on through?

Or tread carefully?

Walking on broken glass

Suffering is a similiarity

Synonymous with life

It’s the opalescent tragedy

Walking to the grave

With an instruction manual

Predictable but pleasurable

Like the ****** animal

Or like the rain is annual

Dare take the road less worn?

With your comfort coat shorn?

Alone is a storm?

Forlorn and forewarned

You prefer to stay warm