It’s been highlighted, underlined, written on the side of my shoe: do not awaken love until it so desires.
It is to love then, not to me or to you, that I owe an apology
Because when they told me love hurts— I invited it to knock me down.
I think you try to talk to me because I knew you best and you like that,
But every time I offered you a tissue you took it as a chance to cut into mine,
And I let you to chip away a shade of my hue with every slice,
Changing the gradient and adding cracks to the contour of my soul.
Every time I slid my skin off for you it was under artificial light,
Painting the yellow pigment of my skin shades of black and blue instead of allowing me to stay golden because shiny wasn’t the right color,
You didn’t need to see your reflection the truth wasn’t interesting to you.
You didn’t take my honor you ignored its existence,
I made love to you without making you love me,
That’s why it’s so funny that now you don’t play hard to get,
you play hard to get rid of.
Realizing I deserved better changed everything,
You had nothing to offer but your own confusion and version of the world,
But I have my own now,
And I’ve colored it to be absent of your blacks and blues.