As I lie awake this night
Something seems to be off,
The fact that i can see myself truly was a shock.
Fast asleep, I watch myself
Dreams flowing through my head
Or maybe I wasn't sleeping,
Maybe I was dead...
The closer that i looked, the more that I could see
The lifeless body on the bed that happened to be me
I tried so hard to wake up from this nightmare but nothing really worked
I wanted to feel sad but I could no longer feel the hurt...
The pain, the misery that was once a part of me
I couldn't feel it anymore because I wasn't breathing
I felt light like a feather
A weight lifted from my shoulders
But I'd give it all back just so I can hold her...
The baby girl I never had..
I just wanted to see her smile
And have her in my arms just for a little while.
Can I at least to say goodbye to the ones that i know now?
To tell them that I love them and that I'd be with them somehow...
I didn't know my time was coming
I would have said it sooner
I wasted all my time dreaming about the future
The future that I no longer get to have
Because not every day is promised...and this one was my last...
As I fade away into the darkness of the what ifs or what could have been
I think about my beautiful journey and accept that this is where it ends...

So an age ended, and its last deliverer died
In bed, grown idle and unhappy; they were safe:
The sudden shadow of a giant's enormous calf
Would fall no more at dusk across their lawns outside.

They slept in peace: in marshes here and there no doubt
A sterile dragon lingered to a natural death,
But in a year the spoor had vanished from the heath:
A kobold's knocking in the mountain petered out.

Only the scupltors and the poets were half sad,
And the pert retinue from the magician's house
Grumbled and went elsewhere. The vanished powers were glad

To be invisible and free; without remorse
Struck down the sons who strayed in their course,
And ravished the daughters, and drove the fathers mad.

did you crumble against a wall
did you fall to your knees
or did you stay standing numb

when you cry do you sniffle and scream
or do you hold it in
till blackness consumes you at night

I wouldn't know
Because I will never be a causation
But I've broken enough hearts I could guess

I may not know how you hurt
But I do know your eyes
cried my tears
every time your heart was broken

The distance between 
heaven & earth 
is that of 
heart & soul

Threat of rain.
grey skies like the lid of
a kettle from below.
clouds are ice from a
fish eye perspective.
I'm heading for the mountains
after work.

bringing little more than
good boots, a solid knife,
my best friend and his
owner.
love on four legs.
smiles behind every bark.
ears flapping with his running
free; scouting. herding us
through passes, across creeks.

my heart is a happy dog; stick
in mouth, world of new scents.
bonfire dreams, tapping of rain
on built shelter.
bidding the city adieu.
for days, all I can see will be
beautiful.